Posted on Monday, May 14, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Sports, Values
In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.” Yesterday I reviewed the book The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.
In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules, but baseball is a piece of cake compared to “the code” we try to decode when we’re in relationships.
Code – “It’s not working out…”
She seemed so sweet. We’d text one another all day, every day. Now nothing. I guess I didn’t make her happy.
We dated for three years. We had our ups and downs, but now he’s gone. I guess I didn’t make him happy.
I dated this girl for the last eight months. I really loved her. Now she’s gone. I guess I didn’t make her happy.
We were best friends. We talked about it for a while. Finally we decided to have sex. Two weeks later it’s like he doesn’t even know me. He won’t look at me. He won’t talk to me. He won’t even return my texts. I guess I didn’t make him happy.
We broke up three months ago, but we were still having sex and stuff up until last week. I guess I didn’t make him happy.
Whenever I look back on when we were going out, I can only think of all the bad stuff I did. I’d get angry. Say one thing; mean another. I’d look at other girls. I guess I didn’t make her happy.
I think he got tired of me overreacting. He said it was always “over nothing.” Then we’d start yelling at one another. He dumped me and him and screamed that I’m not a good girlfriend. I guess I didn’t make him happy.
Decode – “I Guess I…”
I wasn’t a good enough girlfriend.
I was not there for her when she needed me most.
I’m a failure.
I unconsciously drove her away.
I wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening.
The Truth Is – “You can’t…”
The truth is you cannot “make someone happy.” Really you can’t. You could be the kindest nicest person in the world and the other person might not react the way most everyone else would. You might be amazing and still get dumped.