If you’re like me, this has been a thought-provoking week.
The reader-response to this week’s mysilentscream.com had me thinking long and hard about the depth of our drama, the taste of our of trauma, and the deep pit in which some of our hidden pain resides.
Next week we’ll take a look at how to deal with our anger.
As this week concludes this ancient song — known as Psalm 51 — continues to echo through my mind as a prayer to God for help. 1
Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love.
I NEED unfailing — unconditional, never-gonna-give-up-on-you, love without strings — love.
Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.
I need a soul-cleanse, do you too?
For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night.
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.
I am guilty of being judge & jury, because I can jump to conclusions, be judgmental, and misplace and misdirect my anger so that it builds into resentment. In some subtle and not-so-subtle ways, I’ve always been this way:
For I was born a sinner — yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
But you desire honesty from the womb, teaching me wisdom even there.
But, “I’ve always been this way”, is not good enough:
Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me — now let me rejoice.
Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.
Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.
I need God’s renewing, today and every day.
“That’s what I want!”, is mysilentscream.
1 – Psalm 51:1-10, NLT