Posted on Thursday, December 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
Recently my friends and I played volleyball. It was a fun and competitive series of games.
Later that month I gathered many of the same late-night friends for another series of games. Even though it was after midnight I had the same expectations as the previous evening: I was looking forward to the same fun, competitive games.
We lost the first closely contested game. We dominated the second game as their team laughed and clowned around as they played sometimes sloppily. I prefer to win, but I actually felt sorry for one of their teammates who was evidently annoyed.
We were winning the third game by several points, but the level of play was getting sloppier and sloppier for both teams. My team seemed to unravel. While the score would have been exciting to on-lookers, I was getting more and more annoyed with the sloppy, sleepy play; particularly on my team.
I like to laugh, but — in my mind — this was a game to win.
For others this was a time to enjoy one another, winning or losing was at-best of secondary consideration.
Either I needed to adjust my expectations, or they needed to adjust theirs.
It was unlikely that several people having a fun, laughter-filled time would suddenly “buckle-down” and focus. The pressure was on me to change my perception and my expectations.
I felt torn.
Several times I wanted to quit rather than complain.
I struggled with an odd sense of responsibility:
– I felt responsible to continue to play, because we already had one less player.
– I felt responsible to continue to play, because I organized the game.
– I felt responsible to continue to play, because I am competitive.
– I felt responsible to continue to play, because I am “not a quitter.”
What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?
He may be right.
She may be wrong.
She may be realistic.
He may be deluded.
I’m trying to keep one thing in mind: most people do what they believe makes sense.
– Some people still try to sneak a smoke in airplane restrooms
– Some people will say something provocative or risque
– Some people trespass and hunt on private property
– Some people drive through traffic lights on red
What affects our judgment?
What helps us?
What hurts us?