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Aug 17

What Now?

Posted on Friday, August 17, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Music, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

If you’re like me, this has been a thought-provoking week.

The reader-response to this week’s mysilentscream.com had me thinking long and hard about the depth of our drama, the taste of our of trauma, and the deep pit in which some of our hidden pain resides.

Next week we’ll take a look at how to deal with our anger.

As this week concludes this ancient song — known as Psalm 51 — continues to echo through my mind as a prayer to God for help. 1

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love.

Aug 16

Warning: Anger Can Become Toxic

Posted on Thursday, August 16, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, and continued it yesterday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.

One gracious reader read and replied, “I was raped by a guy when I was 22 I would judge him and say he needs help…because he did. (He victimized) 5 other women…but he is and was aware of what he was doing so I wouldn’t feel sympathy.”

As someone who has never experienced a rape I cannot begin to grasp the depth of how that would affect a victim, all I can say is “Wow, thank you you for your humble willingness to add your perspective to our dialogue.”

Aug 15

Beware: Never Judge Others By Your Limited Perspective

Posted on Wednesday, August 15, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, continuing Tuesday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.”

We have one perspective.

There may be another.

The Stories

The “dropout” whose pot-smoking parents never challenge him.
The “skeeze” whose dad did more hopping than Frogger.
The “gamer” whose parents never expected anything from him.
The “slut” whose dad, step-dad, 2nd step-dad, and mom’s before all left.

Another Side Of The Stories

Aug 14

Caution – We don’t know the whole story.

Posted on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Yesterday in Olympics: Judge & Jury I introduced some of the challenges we face when we assess — when we judge — the lives of other people.

I met the girl everyone thought was a “b****.” She hasn’t been spoiled all her life, just since her dad abandoned her and her mom died.  

I met the “lazy guy” who never did any housework because he wasn’t taught to do so.  His hard-working mom was too tired to clean house and too tired to parent.

Aug 13

Olympics: Judge & Jury

Posted on Monday, August 13, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Millions, perhaps a billion people, spent time in the last two weeks watching the Olympics.

While the athletes are judged in their individual events, real life is not like the Olympics. We do not have a right to judge and award people based on competitions of our choosing.

While we do not have the right to arbitrarily create events in which we serve as judge, many people do.

Have you seen, or judged these events?
– Who’s the biggest “b****”?
– What’s up with their yard/house/car?
– Who’s gonna do something about him?
– Who’s kid is that?

Jul 23

Steady As We Go

Posted on Monday, July 23, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

This weekend I finished the fifth of five of wonderful marriage celebrations in the last couple of months.

Ashley and Jesse Stinson got married
Nate and Manna Towler got married
Jonnie and Courtney Towler got married
Luke and Jessica Skelly got married, and,
Amy and I celebrated our 25th anniversary with a vow renewal ceremony.

Faithfulness

Yesterday, I reviewed Stu Weber’s book Tender Warrior in his book he challenges us as men to be finishers.  And to you my male readers — newly-married, or not — let’s honor the women in our lives by being “finishers.”

Apr 6

Good Friday – I Wanna Know What Love Is

Posted on Friday, April 6, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Ask most any child, teen, adult or senior citizen, “What is love?” and their answers will vary. They might not vary so much in the quaity of their experience, but the quantity of their experiences.

Sure, love involves feelings — romanticized by music, literature, and other media, but it’s also so much more.

We all yearn to create and — when we feel like we’re losing it — recreate the “love” what we feel we have lost.

Why do marriage fall apart?
Why do dating relationships between people who “love” one another fail?

They feel like the “love” is lost.

Mar 2

Unloving Loved Ones

Posted on Friday, March 2, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos, Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

While healthy parents reflect the love of God, unhealthy shame-filled, uncaring, unloving parents can do just the opposite; especially those who call themselves “Christian.”

God disciplines us like loving parents.  God wants us to experience a healthy sense of “for your own good” fear.

The greatest challenge most people face is their unwillingness to live in and under the love of God. They either don’t know how to experience God’s love, run away from God’s love (as I have) or outright reject God’s love. There are, of course, many reasons for these reactions. Most of which traces back to poor human role modeling by “loved ones.”

Feb 29

Quiet Rest

Posted on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos, Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

In the quiet can learn that we are lovable and that we can be and need to be loved.  When we rest in God’s love — truly allow God into our being — we can acknowledge our imperfections, we can feel our wounds, we can see our scars and admit our sins. When we rest we can be quiet. In the quiet is God waiting for us.

Be still, and know that I am God! Our God says, “Calm down, and learn that I am God!” 1

Today, this is my quiet whisper.

1 – Psalm 46:10, NLT, CEV

Feb 27

Atmosphere

Posted on Monday, February 27, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos, Emotional, Relational, Spiritual, Values

In an atmosphere of love, resting in God’s intimate love, we can finally experience an awareness that our value is settled in God’s mind. God will not, cannot, love us more or less.

We tend to develop conditionally dependent relationships with people. Relating with God is different than that. It’s rational to choose to “act lovingly” our of fear.

We can obey God because we fear the wrath of God. On the other hand, God invites us to learn that his wrath is fearful, but that a loving relationship with the Almighty will naturally lead to obedience.