I’ve read a couple of Stephen Arterburn books. Since I believe that Healing is a Choice I chose to give tHealing is a Choice a read.

The author explores 10 choices that he believes we need to make if we are to experience genuine and lasting healing.

1. The Choice to Connect your life
Lie – All I need to heal is just God and me.

2. The Choice to Feel your life
Lie – Real Christians should have peace in all circumstances

3. The Choice to Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth
Lie – It does no good to look back or look inside

Black Friday and Black Friday week ads are everywhere. 

I’m not immune to greed.

I want an iPod!  I’ve never had one.
I drive a ’96 minivan.  I want a new car.
I want  Batman: Arkham City.  It looks so fun!
I want Dave Matthews Band Eurpoe 2009 CD/DVD collection.  I love that band!
I want a bottle of Angel cologne.  It makes me smell so good.
I want a Wii to play games with Amy!

While we’re inundated with marketing strategies this week, I was determined not to shop for what I don’t need.  In order to cut my greed I decided to cultivate generosity by remembering what I was thankful for this past year.

Tomorrow night my wife Amy and I will be attending Sara Groves’ CD release concert. As I wrote yesterday I have been a fan since my friend Dan Adler first played us her song Generations.

I am excited to hear her in person, and I’m also anticipating her new album. 

Sara’s last album — Fireflies & Songs — was widely acclaimed, and even won as 2009 album of the year.  Commendably the reviewer added, “Already known for her transparent songwriting, Sara Groves gets even more piercingly honest on this, her ninth album. Whether her relationship with God, marital tension, or a private battle with anxiety, it’s poetically spilled forth…” 1

Pain Despite Faith

My friend Brandon, like many people, lives with the pain of migraines.  Brandon has explained, “migraines make me very ill.   They can put me out of action for an entire day or more.  I can feel one coming on and then when full blown I feel horrible, nauseous and need to go to bed. While some people can have a migraine every couple of months or a couple of migraines a week, sometimes my migraines can repeat day after day for a week or more.”

In the past I mentioned my appreciation for singer-songwriter Sara Groves.  This week Amy and I are going to her CD release concert so I’m highlighting some of her great songs.  They inspire and encourage me.  I think that they will do the same for you.

A couple of months ago I mentioned how moved I was by Sara’s compassion churned by the pain and hurt she saw in Rwanda.   I Saw What I Saw expresses that she could never be the same after her trip.

Most people want to relieve or avoid pain, and understandably so. 

CUTTING – AFTER A BREAKUP

THE QUESTION: Our son’s girlfriend broke up with him about a year ago. He doesn’t show any signs moving on with his life. He cuts on his arm. It looks so awful. He doesn’t date. What can I do with him?

OUR REPLY: “The breakup of a relationship is almost always very painful to at least one partner, and you did the right thing by looking for help. God does care very deeply about your son, and God doesn’t want him to spend the rest of his life believing something about himself that isn’t true. He has a right to grieve. He will get through this painful time. Remind him that you care and that he does not have to go through his grief alone.”

“My friend cuts.” “Our daughter cuts.” “My son cuts.” “I cannot understand why. It’s so disgusting!”

There are many methods to self-injure.  I’ll not list them all.  I’ll use “cutting” as a synonym for all forms of self-injury.

There are reasons people self-injure, I’ll mention one.  Most people that I know would say that they began cutting as way to “relieve the pain”.

While I remember glorying in my wounds and trying to get attention for damage that I caused myself, most “cutters” do not cut to get attention.  Contrary to any preconceived notions you may have cutting is seldom a reflecting of suicidal thoughts.  Instead, the cuts reflect intense emotional pain. Pain that seems uncontrollable.

While H1N1 dominates the media’s attention and ours, there is a far more devastating pandemic that never makes the nightly news: loneliness.

Every day I read texts, Facebook updates and listen while people express the pain of their loneliness.

Loneliness takes many forms. Longing to dress up for a party Jeanette sits alone on Halloween. Wishing and hoping that her phone would ring Debbie keeps her cell phone volume on “Outdoor” fearing that she might miss the one call that she might receive. While his lunch table mates laugh about the fun they had the night before David suffers in silence wishing that they would finally invite him to join them.