Tom Coughlin, head coach of the Super Bowl winning New York Giants, spoke about the importance of having a player like quarterback Eli Manning in a leadership role for the Giants.

The New York Times quoted Coughlin: “Eli stood up in the team meeting the other day and said a lot of things that were responded to not only by the young kids, but by the veterans as well…I think that the information gathering and sharing of information from someone who has been there and succeeded, that can be extremely valuable.”

The Love & Respect Experience By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love”

If you’re a typical husband:
– you’re not eager to be vulnerable
– you don’t want to be corrected or enjoy opportunities to challenge your behavior
– you don’t want to schedule weekly interrogation sessions
Those concerns are addressed in the book. 

This book is meant to build you up, not to break you down.

The devotions are easy to follow and quite short — 800-900 words each — three or four minutes of reading.

Welcome to all the new mysilentscream readers who joined us yesterday!

Here are a few holiday stress-busting suggestions:

Take a warm bath or a long relaxing shower.

Take a walk. Bundle up with a buddy and get your body moving.  Walk outside. Look around.

Take a five deep relaxing breaths. Exhale slowly.

Take a nap. Nap – not to hide from your responsibilities, but to retreat, recharge and recover.

I sat in traffic this morning as people raced to work.  Drivers jockeying for position.  Leveraging a moment in time to jump ahead of another driver.  Some guy in a Mazda had a really had a great trip but “he got bumped off the pole” by the guy in the BMW who was a bit faster.

Another guy — apparently not in the hurry others were in must have been — blocking the flow of traffic.  I can envision him telling his buddies later at work that he “gave him a little rub” and passed him by. 1

Brandon and Susie Kline got married last week. They brought together family, friends, faith, fun and laughs. 

You and I react emotionally to a photo like this even if you don’t know the couple.

Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and musings about marriage come from somewhere.  We are all affected by nature and nurture — by genetics and environment — and by culture, both corrupt and commendable.

Marriage.  It’s just a word, but we react to it. 

For many of us, the feelings about the word run deep.  They echo into the past and resound with feelings buried deeper than we realize.

Recently I’ve written about the value of self-esteem insurance. I think it’s important to access our strengths first.

And, admit your weaknesses second.

Some people admit their weaknesses easily.  Sometimes it’s one of their strengths; for others it’s a weakness.

People who are or are becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy see weaknesses for what they are, challenges. 

People who are not becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy see weaknesses as problems that cause pain they want to avoid, deficits to deny, and shameful secrets to conceal.

You, on the other hand, are still reading.  Congratulations!  You want more for your life than denial and lies.

My parents have always been wise about money.

My parents tried to pass their wisdom and insights onto me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t listen.

I’ve learned my lesson.  Amy and I cut up our credit cards.  We’ve been following Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps and budget tips.

Even though not using credit meant we had less credit available, we only buy what we can afford.

You can read more about our debt-free journey here entitled, Got Money Stress?

Yesterday I wrote about the importance I am placing on embracing reality. Breaking through my natural inclination to avoid pain is hard work. I am a self-centered person, a work in process, and embracing reality is frankly painful.

Challenging Complacency

Complacency ignores reality.

Complacency minimizes others’ horrors.

Complacency marginalizes with “isms” like racism, sexism and age-ism.

If I believe that ignorance is bliss, and I don’t have to worry about what I don’t know about or see, I’m wrong.

I got “home from work” Wednesday and went to work.
I sat there worn out, yawning, shoulders aching, back-tight and worked until 2:30am.

You know how I felt don’t you?

Stressed?
Worn out?
Got a headache?
Heartache?
Tense and tired?
Wow have I been there!

Find time for relaxation.

I know, I know!

When my wife Amy or daughter Shannon are reading this I know they are smirking.
“You just told someone else to “Find time for whatever relaxation.”
Hah! When are you going to relax?!?”

I’m trying.

I began at TreeHouse in 1989. More than twenty years later and I’m still amazed each week in our support groups.  Teens and parents bare their souls, reveal their flaws, expose their wounds and share words of wisdom.  I’m so proud of the thousands who have chosen to embrace their pain that they might find healing and wholeness.  It’s their courage that inspires me to challenge my other readers to embrace their pain too.

Embracing your pain is hard.