I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that.

I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

(Tears filled my eyes as I typed that.)

The less I cared about being cool and the more I decide to become the kind of person I admired the more I like myself.

Sunday my friend and pastor Steve Wiens recommended three prayers for Holy Week this year, including: “God, reveal where I’m hidden and help me to see.”

Shame

The shame of a wounded conscience is a trap. It’s a lie that tries to convince us that hopelessly defective: “I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.”

Shame is the deep feeling of guilt, sadness, and hopelessness that we experience when we become convinced that our shadows, scars and scandals doom us. That past failures, bad habits or poor appearance has made a permanent scar on our self-worth.

Dealing with our own junk is hard work.

Chuck Swindoll wrote a book entitled Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back. That’s not a lot of forward progress!

But, it’s often the path my spiritual growth takes, on the good days.

The Dance Of The Wrecks

“For a thousand years, Christians did a dance called the tripudium to many of their hymns. As worshipers sang, they would lock arms and take three steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, one step back.”

It’s Valentines Day week and I have news for you: If you’re single and not dating there is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with you!

Stop feeling defective.
Stop feeling incomplete.
Stop feeling not-good-enough.

You were created, born, and are now and always, lovable, capable and worthwhile.

This week I want to bless you and remind of of those realities.

I also want to give you – dating or not – some FREE fun ideas to share with a friend or friends.

Active Choices

We face attacks every day.
Our sense of self is battered and bludgeoned by life’s challenges.

What helps us feel worthwhile? 
What drags us down?
Sometimes it’s so subtle.

Steven Covey tells the following story to explain the importance of thoughtfulness. Small acts of kindness and courtesy are important; and, rudeness, unkindnesses, and little forms of disrespect can tear us down.

“I remember an evening I spent with two of my sons some years ago. It was an organized father-and-son outing, complete with gymnastics, wrestling matches, hot dogs, orangeade, and a movie — the works.

Last night after my wife Amy finished celebrating her Green Bay Packers victory we started prepping dinner. While making dinner The Simpsons came on.

If you don’t know, most Simpsons episodes begins with an opening sequence of several short clips including Bart Simpson satisfying a consequence by writing a phrase on the classroom chalkboard.

Known as the chalkboard gag, Wikipedia explains, “the chalkboard gag is a running visual joke that occurs during the opening credits of many episodes. In this gag, Bart Simpson is writing a unique phrase on the chalkboard repeatedly; when the school bell rings, he immediately stops writing and runs out of the classroom.” 1

I’m thinking through what this means for me today, tomorrow, and my tomorrows.

What does the Lord your God require of you?
He requires only that you
fear the Lord your God,
and live in a way that pleases him,
and love him
and serve him with all your heart and soul.
- Deuteronomy 10:12, NLT

Remember me, I want revenge.

I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.

I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that.  No way to get back.  No way to gather forces.  And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.

Football players cleaning out their lockers feel it.
Presidential hopefuls reviewing the debates feel it.
American Idols wannabes and coulda-beens feel it.

What is “it”?  Self- pity.  Self-doubt.  The curse of “if only.”

Don’t let self-pity take you down!

You are lovable even when your flaws are exposed.
You are capable even when you make mistakes.
You are worthwhile even when you’re struggling to believe it.

Somewhere there is someone that values you abilities.
Somewhere there is someone that sees your talents.
Somewhere there is someone that needs your skills.

Christmas is over, but the new year is here.
You enjoy Christmas presents, it’s time to enjoy a New years gift.

I don’t believe on New Years resolutions I believe in doing.

Give yourself the gift of ambition.

Dream.
Make plans.
Believe in yourself.
Go for what you want.
Find a way to do it.
Get someone to help you find a way.

What gets in the way?

Do you get distracted from your goal?
Find a reliable accountability partner.

Do you get lazy?
Find a goal with a benefit that is better than your excuses.