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Aug 7

Chameleon

Posted on Wednesday, August 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADo you know someone who really works hard at being someone else?

We all do.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe it’s you.

I have been that person.

When I was in high school I sometimes felt desperate for friends. When I was included – even for a moment – I would try to blend in.

One night I had a guy tell me, “you’re like a chameleon.”

It was true.
I tried to fit in.
I would even try to talk and act like others.

The truth is, I seldom was really accepted.
Not by them.
And not by me.

Aug 1

Fear of Water

Posted on Thursday, August 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

021_21I’ll be in water, on water and underwater today.

The fear of drowning is one of my fears. It probably always has been a fear, but childhood bullying certainly made it worse. Sometimes I’m not even aware that I’m thinking about it.

Our Fears

Fear will try to stop us.
Doubts will try to stop us.

We’ll be tempted to duck responsibilities.
We’ll be tempted to from taking chances.
We’ll be tempted to lay low and avoid risks.

Fear has paralyzed many people from
– attempting great accomplishments
– facing great questions
– embracing great opportunities
– joining great adventures
– creating something new
– sharing gifts with others

Jun 26

Enemies of Empathy

Posted on Wednesday, June 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

1064361_golf_ball “Fore!”

Golfers yell “fore” when he or she hits a shot that might strike another golfer on the course. In fact, it is every golfer’s responsibility to watch carefully after hitting a shot to make sure another golfer is not in danger.

“Fore!”

Unfortunately, I’ve had to shout “Fore!” more than once.
Sometimes it’s just a warning.
Other times it’s imminent danger.

To me and you: “Fore!” “My friends, watch out!” 1

Watch Out?

I’ve spent the last year thinking through myself. I am trying to notice, to watch:
– What am I doing?
– Why am I doing it?
– Who’s watching?
– Am I living and acting like someone I would admire?

Apr 10

I’m NOT Cool

Posted on Wednesday, April 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

1I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that.

I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

(Tears filled my eyes as I typed that.)

The less I cared about being cool and the more I decide to become the kind of person I admired the more I like myself.

Apr 5

Clear Expectations

Posted on Friday, April 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

ahugI gave out my cell phone number to a new friend this week.

As soon as I shared my number I felt obligated to explain a few things:
– I don’t answer very often
– I don’t text back very quickly
– I don’t answer when I’m busy
– I don’t respond to people who call or text repeatedly

A few years ago I decided it was easier to explain this list of annoyances when I share my number than to have to make apologies.

Apr 2

Peer Pressure

Posted on Tuesday, April 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

sign-manypathsRecently I sat among a group of people all of whom respected one another. We share some common goals. We share some common hopes and dreams. While we were discussing those goals and hopes and dreams, one person spoke up.

The room of people turned.
We looked and listened.

She is well-respected.
She is respect-worthy.
She has a very respected legacy.

She is a leader among leaders.

And, in this group of people:
When she spoke people listened.
When she led people followed.
When she thought out-loud people agreed.

And, when she had a misguided suggestion there was buy-in.

Mar 28

Stop Hiding

Posted on Thursday, March 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

alone-62253_640Sunday my friend and pastor Steve Wiens recommended three prayers for Holy Week this year, including: “God, reveal where I’m hidden and help me to see.”

Shame

The shame of a wounded conscience is a trap. It’s a lie that tries to convince us that hopelessly defective: “I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.”

Shame is the deep feeling of guilt, sadness, and hopelessness that we experience when we become convinced that our shadows, scars and scandals doom us. That past failures, bad habits or poor appearance has made a permanent scar on our self-worth.

Feb 26

Hope For The Wrecks

Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

automobile body car crashFar too often when I feel that I am making progress my own propensity for old patterns and choices arises.

Not sure you know what I mean?

Have you had a Snickers instead of salad when you were hoping to eat more healthy?

Were you praying for patience and cursing out other drivers?

Were you still smarting from some ill-timed words when you assumed someone “gave you a look”? Only to find out they meant nothing by it!

Most of us are unwilling to be accountable. Too often we highlight the wrongs of others and dismiss or justify our own.

Feb 13

Saying No

Posted on Wednesday, February 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

NOFor many of us, “No” is the first word that we spoke.

And, we heard it throughout our childhood:
“No, you can’t do that.”
“No, you’re not old enough.”
“No, you’re not big enough.”

As we got older people used “No” as a weapon:
“No, you’re not pretty enough.”
“No, you’re not smart enough.”
“No, you’re not good enough.”

“No” can protect.
“No” can push away.

Push-Away Politely

Scenarios: You are – asked out, flirted with, asked to dance, offered a drink, etc. – by someone you’re not interested in. What can you do?

Feb 11

Not Dating? GREAT!

Posted on Monday, February 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s Valentines Day week and I have news for you: If you’re single and not dating there is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with you!

Stop feeling defective.
Stop feeling incomplete.
Stop feeling not-good-enough.

You were created, born, and are now and always, lovable, capable and worthwhile.

This week I want to bless you and remind of of those realities.

I also want to give you – dating or not – some FREE fun ideas to share with a friend or friends.

Active Choices