Last night I was relaxing while listening to Jack Johnson’s “En Concert.”  He’s the kind of artist that helps me relax and feel less alone in my feelings — without prompting me to wallow in them.

His song, “Symbol In My Driveway”, off the On and On album proclaims:

I’ve got a light bulb full of anger
And I can switch it on and off

And, in my best moments, I can shut off my anger; assuring that I neither stuff nor hide my anger.

Shut Off Our Anger

I’m thinking through what this means for me today, tomorrow, and my tomorrows.

What does the Lord your God require of you?
He requires only that you
fear the Lord your God,
and live in a way that pleases him,
and love him
and serve him with all your heart and soul.
- Deuteronomy 10:12, NLT

Remember me, I want revenge.

I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.

I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that.  No way to get back.  No way to gather forces.  And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.

“Run — flee the evil desires of youth; run away; run away from infantile indulgence; run from temptations that capture young people; run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts — instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.“  1

Okay, yeah love is the obvious choice, but why does the choice STILL have to be so [expletive] hard!

1 – 2 Timothy 2:22

Football players cleaning out their lockers feel it.
Presidential hopefuls reviewing the debates feel it.
American Idols wannabes and coulda-beens feel it.

What is “it”?  Self- pity.  Self-doubt.  The curse of “if only.”

Don’t let self-pity take you down!

You are lovable even when your flaws are exposed.
You are capable even when you make mistakes.
You are worthwhile even when you’re struggling to believe it.

Somewhere there is someone that values you abilities.
Somewhere there is someone that sees your talents.
Somewhere there is someone that needs your skills.

Broomball In A Blizzard

The snow fell relentlessly. By the end of the game the ice on the rink was covered by inches of snow.

My friend Matt Benson, pictured here, was playing goalie during this Spring storm. He lay in goal on a comfy layer of fresh snow.

He’s safe but more than once while playing broomball I’ve been bruised and bloodied, but on this particular day I felt nearly invincible.

Snow fell while we raced across the ice. The falling snow made falling on the ice a far safer venture than usual.

Breakaways & Broken Spirits

A beautiful February day filled with sunshine, laughter and friends.  It was a TreeHouse staff retreat and we had the morning and afternoon off.  A group of us headed to a local hockey rink for some broomball.

Since many players enjoying scoring goals more than stopping them I volunteered to play goalie for our team.  I also knew that most if not all the players were more athletic and better broomball players that I was. I also assumed that the differences in our abilities would be less evident with me in goal.

Taz, our dog, usually ran into his “dog run” to take care of “his business.” 1

In his last months, despite his best intentions he didn’t always make it. That’s inconvenient, but it’s not a problem when it’s outside, someone notices what’s going on and she or he responds promptly.

On-the-other-hand, it can become a big problem if:
– Inside, not outside, well, hopefully he made it into the kitchen.
– Someone fails to notice, and there is now an unforeseen minefield awaiting.
– Someone fails to respond, and now there the minefield is caused by neglect too.

It’s been three weeks since I “got a cold”. It’s a mighty cold. Relentlessly my cold has beaten off all attempts to find a remedy.

Despite such evident opposition I’ve had a great week. Food, family, friends and frivolity were plentiful.

As I recover from my week of self-discipline this week I’m diving into my journey to define values and how our values affect our lives.

As I begin, let me ask you a question:  What’s it take for you to have a great week?

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi has been defeated.  MSNBC reported that his last words were: ‘Do you know right from wrong?’ I do not know whether he was treated as he should have been or not. I know that he deserved justice,  just like you and I do.

I don’t interact with world leaders, but in my sphere of influence I have to ask myself: ‘Do you know right from wrong?‘

I want to treat people, especially my loved ones, with the ultimate respect.  I try, but sometimes I get in my own way.