This week I started working with a team of directors that I was new to. Years ago after my first year at TreeHouse I met with my boss to discuss my year in review. That year the first thing we addressed was my lack of social skills.

Growing up my best friends were our family’s German Shepherd dogs. I hadn’t developed the people skills necessary to be manage the many dynamic social relationships I needed available to me at TreeHouse.

In my first review we discussed my lack of social skills.
And my second.
And my third.
And my fourth.
And my fifth.

Kobe Bryant is one of the best basketball players to ever play the game.  On the other hand, according to a recent ESPN article by Henry Abbott, Bryant’s fear of failure blinds him from experiencing even greater success.

After missing 22 shots in a New Year’s Day loss to Denver, Bryant scoffed at reporters who hinted that he should have passed the ball to teammates: “If you’re asking me if I’m going to shoot less,” he said, “the answer is no. It starts with me. I do what I do. We play off of that, and that’s not going to change.”

I’ve made many mistakes in my life.
Many of them could easily have been avoided.

Fortunately, not one of my mistakes has ended in the headlines.

Headlines

Dallas Morning News reported today that Major League baseball player, “Rangers’ Josh Hamilton has relapse with alcohol at area bar.”  USA Today, Washington Post, Fox Sports, it’s on the news, it’s filling the headlines.

“Someone went to a bar” is hardly news. “Someone had a few drinks” isn’t either.  Unless that someone is, as Jeff Passan described him, the “most famous addict in sports.”  Then, everyone who knows about you knows that that’s a problem.  Josh Hamilton’s story of self-destruction, sobriety, redemption and success have been well-documented including his autobiographical Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back.

Cuts lined her arms.
He drinks himself into oblivion.

She chases after “Mr. Perfect.”
He’s looking to “hit it.”

She’s settling.
He’s settling.

You must love yourself before you can love another.

Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t “settle.”
- Don’t let addictions stand in your way.
- Don’t let lies blind you.
- Don’t let self-pity poison your heart.

“You’re better than that!!!”  That’s mysilentscream.

Broomball In A Blizzard

The snow fell relentlessly. By the end of the game the ice on the rink was covered by inches of snow.

My friend Matt Benson, pictured here, was playing goalie during this Spring storm. He lay in goal on a comfy layer of fresh snow.

He’s safe but more than once while playing broomball I’ve been bruised and bloodied, but on this particular day I felt nearly invincible.

Snow fell while we raced across the ice. The falling snow made falling on the ice a far safer venture than usual.

Breakaways & Broken Spirits

A beautiful February day filled with sunshine, laughter and friends.  It was a TreeHouse staff retreat and we had the morning and afternoon off.  A group of us headed to a local hockey rink for some broomball.

Since many players enjoying scoring goals more than stopping them I volunteered to play goalie for our team.  I also knew that most if not all the players were more athletic and better broomball players that I was. I also assumed that the differences in our abilities would be less evident with me in goal.

Listening to our friend Kayla Berndt yesterday awed me.

Her passion for the children and families she served this summer in Louisville, KY humbled me.

She found within herself a deep well of love and compassion filled by God.

Her appreciation for the struggles and successes, challenges and conquests of those she met made me think, “Do I notice people?  Really notice people?“

I believe that if I cared more for others I think my self-respect and thus my self-esteem would swell as well.

I am the grandson of a depression survivor.  My maternal grandfather Ray Brausam was frugal man.  I admire how he found ways to save money. 

One of the ways he saved money was finding uses for things other people discarded.  He sold cans and newspapers to recyclers to earn extra cash.   My dad later helped me to do the same thing.

By Nature I Am A “Saver”

I am no where near as frugal as my grandfather, nor as smart as my dad, but I did manage to take the saving strategy to an extreme in the wrong direction. 

Recently I’ve written about the value of self-esteem insurance. I think it’s important to access our strengths first.

And, admit your weaknesses second.

Some people admit their weaknesses easily.  Sometimes it’s one of their strengths; for others it’s a weakness.

People who are or are becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy see weaknesses for what they are, challenges. 

People who are not becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy see weaknesses as problems that cause pain they want to avoid, deficits to deny, and shameful secrets to conceal.

You, on the other hand, are still reading.  Congratulations!  You want more for your life than denial and lies.

Recently I’ve written about the value of self-esteem insurance.  Access your strengths first.  Admit your weaknesses second.

Bad Habit, Deep Roots

Friday while helping friends move I saw Marla’s Caribbean Cuisine.  I wanted a menu.

For no apparent reason when I pulled into the parking lot I thought to myself, “I’ll just say I just moved into the neighborhood. They’ll gladly give me a takeout menu.”

It made no sense.
– If they had takeout menus, they would gladly give me one.
– If they did not, saying I was new to the neighborhood would not create one.