“Don’t settle…Don’t settle…Don’t settle.” That’s my self-talk. It’s easy for me to get lazy, give in and grab junk and eat it.

I wrestle with responsibility. I assume you do too.

Note: Today’s my 25th anniversary at TreeHouse, and this is the final post of the “10 for 25″ series on ten important lessons I’ve learned at TreeHouse.

In the movie Batman Begins, Henri Ducard tells Bruce Wayne: You traveled the world now you must journey inwards to what you really fear; it’s inside you there is no turning back…If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, you become something else entirely. Are you ready to begin?

Beginnings are important. Yesterday I began a series called “10 for 25.” It’s a series of ten lessons I have learned in my twenty-five years at TreeHouse.

B…

My daughter Shannon recently took a form of the test most of us call “Myers-Briggs.” Shannon is persuasive, so of course the rest of the family was invited into the quest.

I last took the test three years ago. You can take it now for free.

Three years ago I scored an ISFJ nicknamed Protectors. I liked the idea of being a “protector.”

Protector, it sounds noble and compassionate. I’d like to be a protector.

Today’s chalkboard confirms my intentions today: “I will not sell miracle cures.”

I don’t have a miracle cure, and if I claimed to I would quickly be exposed as a fraud.

The Fear Of Exposure Perverts Our Thinking

“Psychologist Larry Crabb says that the primary motivation for all of our social behavior is a fear that if others really knew us as we are, they would reject us in disgust. This fear of exposure is rooted in our sense of the ugliness of our fallen natures as they have been perverted and corrupted by sin. Satan delights in inflaming this fear…”

I can’t.
I won’t.

Never again.
It was a mistake.

“We all have times when we find it difficult to avoid making too much of our mistakes and perceived failures. But how do you not take rejection personally? How do you not feel like your world is crashing down around you?” 1

Moving On From Mistakes

Alice Boyes on PsychCentral identified seven ways to avoid personalizing errors and rejection. I commend her insights and I think you will too.  Note: Tips 1-3 were discussed yesterday.

Most of us like to be chosen.
But, it feels almost offensive to be chosen when we feel unworthy.
The key is when we feel unworthy, not to settle for it.

Feeling unworthy is a vicious trap.

One of the keys to breaking free is separating truth from lies, fact from fiction and real from imagined.

Losing your job will not defeat you, believing it’s useless to try again will.

Losing your health will not defeat you, believing you’re useless will.

Failing in school will not defeat you, believing it’s hopeless will.

It’s nice to be chosen.

To be chosen as a teammate.
To be hired as a colleague.
To be honored with a scholarship.
To be selected for a role in a play.
To be invited to join a small group.

It’s nice to be chosen, unless it isn’t.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when needy people demand our attention.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when you know you’re misunderstood.

It isn’t nice to be chosen
by a manipulative person.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
as a crush by the wrong person.

When I think of self esteem I tend to lean one of three ways; three paths my thoughts follow.

1. I focus on my own self-interests, because I am selfish.

2. I focus on the my self-reliance, because I see myself in the mirror.

3. I focus on the tension I feel between my secular education and my spiritual life.

The following essay by Randy Alcorn effectively sets my paths straight.

Two Sources of Self-Esteem: Secular & Christian

As my friend Mandy reminded us yesterday, like a dollar that’s seen better days, you’re value never changes.

Though this dollar has been folded and crumpled up, stomped down, torn off and snotted-on, it’s still just as valuable; it’s a dollar.

Even though you may have been unplanned, felt unwanted, been abused or discarded, felt unprotected or abandoned, misrepresented or misunderstood, you’re still just as valuable; you’re a unique, irreplaceable, invaluable, never-gonna-be-repeated human being.

No one could ever offer your unique perspective, you’re unique history, your unique combination of gifts and talents; you are absolutely irreplaceable.

In this the final slice in a series of posts reflecting on the songs of Bruno Mars we’re examining the virtues of his perspective in his song “Just the Way You Are.”

If you need to catch up a bit:
1. Bruno, What’s On Your Mind?
2. Ruins and Regrets
3. 5 Suggestions 4 Living With A Broken Heart
4. Bonding In The Backseat, Breakup In The Bedroom

Just the Way You Are

On Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars wants the object of his affection to know that he thinks she’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve met a woman who didn’t want to be thought of as beautiful by her loved ones.