I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that.

I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

(Tears filled my eyes as I typed that.)

The less I cared about being cool and the more I decide to become the kind of person I admired the more I like myself.

Sunday my friend and pastor Steve Wiens recommended three prayers for Holy Week this year, including: “God, reveal where I’m hidden and help me to see.”

Shame

The shame of a wounded conscience is a trap. It’s a lie that tries to convince us that hopelessly defective: “I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.”

Shame is the deep feeling of guilt, sadness, and hopelessness that we experience when we become convinced that our shadows, scars and scandals doom us. That past failures, bad habits or poor appearance has made a permanent scar on our self-worth.

Dealing with our own junk is hard work.

Chuck Swindoll wrote a book entitled Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back. That’s not a lot of forward progress!

But, it’s often the path my spiritual growth takes, on the good days.

The Dance Of The Wrecks

“For a thousand years, Christians did a dance called the tripudium to many of their hymns. As worshipers sang, they would lock arms and take three steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, one step back.”

It’s Valentines Day week and I have news for you: If you’re single and not dating there is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with you!

Stop feeling defective.
Stop feeling incomplete.
Stop feeling not-good-enough.

You were created, born, and are now and always, lovable, capable and worthwhile.

This week I want to bless you and remind of of those realities.

I also want to give you – dating or not – some FREE fun ideas to share with a friend or friends.

Active Choices

After the response to yesterday’s post, I thought it would be a great time to remind you of a post from last year, 5 Stop Signs that will help your life GO better.

5 Stop Signs

1. Stop believing the lie: Life isn’t always fair. Accept what you must, and change what you can.

2. Stop before you regret it: Think before you act. A moment today may cause pain for years.

3. Stop & notice: See the beauty in people, in nature, and in yourself.

4. Stop to appreciate what you have: Family & friends, talents, opportunities & useful stuff.

William Wilberforce — as mentioned yesterday — was a bold, but peculiar man, who changed the world.

William Wilberforce was also featured in the movie Amazing Grace. It’s a powerful film that reveals the tension that Wilberforce faced in his personal and public life.

People who step forward or step “out of line” face that tension. 

– Teens who stand up against bullies are often threatened themselves.
– Entrepreneurs who market boldly are often ostracized by their competition.
– Excited parents are glared at when they cheer for their daughter or son at sporting events.
– Weather forecasters are often derided when their forecasts are mistaken.
– Fans who cheer too loudly at sporting events can be shouted down.

Why Come To TreeHouse?

You’ll learn you’re not alone in dealing with any issue.
You’ll learn how to support someone else in need.
You’ll realize you’re lovable, capable and worthwhile.

At TreeHouse you will always be listened to and what you say matters to others.

Mentoring at TreeHouse Makes Life Better

Decrease at-risk behavior – 98% reduce at least one at-risk behavior
Build healthy relationships with God, self & others – 81% choose to
Graduate High School – 24% more likely to graduate than their peers
Pursue an educational or vocational track for their future – 93% choose to

Subtitled, “Discovering The Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle”, Michael John Cusick begins with an abrupt and compelling question, “What’s Better than Porn?” He spends the majority of the rest of the book answering that question.

“You and I were created to fly. But something has gone terribly wrong…Adam and Eve lost their innocence and…barely a day goes by that I don’t hear a story about a man losing his (innocence) in exchange for pornography…(and) the losses are devastating.”

Remember me, I want revenge.

I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.

I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that.  No way to get back.  No way to gather forces.  And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.

Tuesday I posted Norman Vincent Peale’s 10 Rules For Getting Along With People. Yesterday I wrote about how socially awkward I can be.

Don’t be Egotistical or a Know-It-All

Have you ever blurted something out without thinking it through?
Have you ever mumbled something incoherent to a crush?
Have you ever left a voicemail that sounded stupid, but you can’t take it back.
Have you ever regretted saying something before you even finished saying it?
Me too!