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Aug 18

INTJ

Posted on Monday, August 18, 2014 in Emotional, Intellectual, Values

light_floodlightMy daughter Shannon recently took a form of the test most of us call “Myers-Briggs.” Shannon is persuasive, so of course the rest of the family was invited into the quest.

I last took the test three years ago. You can take it now for free.

Three years ago I scored an ISFJ nicknamed Protectors. I liked the idea of being a “protector.”

Protector, it sounds noble and compassionate. I’d like to be a protector.

Jul 29

Cures

Posted on Tuesday, July 29, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

CuresToday’s chalkboard confirms my intentions today: “I will not sell miracle cures.”

I don’t have a miracle cure, and if I claimed to I would quickly be exposed as a fraud.

The Fear Of Exposure Perverts Our Thinking

“Psychologist Larry Crabb says that the primary motivation for all of our social behavior is a fear that if others really knew us as we are, they would reject us in disgust. This fear of exposure is rooted in our sense of the ugliness of our fallen natures as they have been perverted and corrupted by sin. Satan delights in inflaming this fear…”

Jun 6

Moving On From Mistakes

Posted on Friday, June 6, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

hand-70508_640I can’t.
I won’t.

Never again.
It was a mistake.

“We all have times when we find it difficult to avoid making too much of our mistakes and perceived failures. But how do you not take rejection personally? How do you not feel like your world is crashing down around you?” 1

Moving On From Mistakes

Alice Boyes on PsychCentral identified seven ways to avoid personalizing errors and rejection. I commend her insights and I think you will too.  Note: Tips 1-3 were discussed yesterday.

Jun 5

Coping With “Unworthy”

Posted on Thursday, June 5, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

hammer02Most of us like to be chosen.
But, it feels almost offensive to be chosen when we feel unworthy.
The key is when we feel unworthy, not to settle for it.

Feeling unworthy is a vicious trap.

One of the keys to breaking free is separating truth from lies, fact from fiction and real from imagined.

Losing your job will not defeat you, believing it’s useless to try again will.

Losing your health will not defeat you, believing you’re useless will.

Failing in school will not defeat you, believing it’s hopeless will.

Jun 4

Rejecting Acceptance

Posted on Wednesday, June 4, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

girl help 1377798978mjnfxIt’s nice to be chosen.

To be chosen as a teammate.
To be hired as a colleague.
To be honored with a scholarship.
To be selected for a role in a play.
To be invited to join a small group.

It’s nice to be chosen, unless it isn’t.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when needy people demand our attention.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
when you know you’re misunderstood.

It isn’t nice to be chosen
by a manipulative person.

It isn’t nice to be chosen,
as a crush by the wrong person.

Apr 17

Two Sources of Self-Esteem: Secular & Christian

Posted on Thursday, April 17, 2014 in Education, Emotional, Intellectual, Relational, Spiritual, Values

broken_mirror_4When I think of self esteem I tend to lean one of three ways; three paths my thoughts follow.

1. I focus on my own self-interests, because I am selfish.

2. I focus on the my self-reliance, because I see myself in the mirror.

3. I focus on the tension I feel between my secular education and my spiritual life.

The following essay by Randy Alcorn effectively sets my paths straight.

Two Sources of Self-Esteem: Secular & Christian

Apr 16

You Are Always …

Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

DollarAs my friend Mandy reminded us yesterday, like a dollar that’s seen better days, you’re value never changes.

Though this dollar has been folded and crumpled up, stomped down, torn off and snotted-on, it’s still just as valuable; it’s a dollar.

Even though you may have been unplanned, felt unwanted, been abused or discarded, felt unprotected or abandoned, misrepresented or misunderstood, you’re still just as valuable; you’re a unique, irreplaceable, invaluable, never-gonna-be-repeated human being.

No one could ever offer your unique perspective, you’re unique history, your unique combination of gifts and talents; you are absolutely irreplaceable.

Feb 14

Beauty: See it. Believe it. Say it. Stand by it.

Posted on Friday, February 14, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Music, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

snow_heartIn this the final slice in a series of posts reflecting on the songs of Bruno Mars we’re examining the virtues of his perspective in his song “Just the Way You Are.”

If you need to catch up a bit:
1. Bruno, What’s On Your Mind?
2. Ruins and Regrets
3. 5 Suggestions 4 Living With A Broken Heart
4. Bonding In The Backseat, Breakup In The Bedroom

Just the Way You Are

On Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars wants the object of his affection to know that he thinks she’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve met a woman who didn’t want to be thought of as beautiful by her loved ones.

Feb 13

Bonding In The Backseat, Breakup In The Bedroom

Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Spiritual, Values

Bruno3These last few days we’ve been looking at some Bruno Mars songs and lyrics since he was featured on the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Marriage

Today is Amy and my 320-month wedding anniversary. Yes, I still count months because I treasure our marriage.  MySilentScream is here Inspiring Great Relationships Every Day and I hope to inspire you to treasure marriage, whether it’s yours or not.

In “Marry You” Bruno sings,

Cause it’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.

Feb 12

5 Suggestions 4 Living With A Broken Heart

Posted on Wednesday, February 12, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Music, Relational, Social, Values

Bruno2In Bruno, What’s On Your Mind? and Ruins and Regrets Bruno Mars described the dangerous relationships he pursued.

Women aren’t the only ones who live with the wounds of a broken heart.

Bruno Mars’ “When I Was Your Man” describes the pain of his own broken heart.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name