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Nov 25

Thanksgiving Drama Defense

Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

angry-girl-1098247-mAlmost every week I hear someone say, “she made me…” or “he made me…” as if they could.

Without a doubt we influence one another, but far too often we justify bad attitudes and hurtful responses because of the attitudes and decisions of others.

This week when tempers flare during your holiday gatherings here are three strategies to drop the drama:

1. Choose to use a soft voice.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.“ 1

Regardless what the other person chooses you can chose a soft and kind tone in your voice.

Jul 31

Finish

Posted on Thursday, July 31, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Intellectual, Relational, Spiritual, Values

finishIt’s Chalkboard Week. If you missed one:

Chalkboard
Cures
Frail

Todays Chalkboard: “I will finish what I sta” (written only once implying the text would be: I will finish what I started)

Bart didn’t and wasn’t likely to finish his list. He was excited. He raced out of the classroom and the school. Too often when you and I don’t finish something we don’t skip away we trip and fall over the pile of unfinished.

Sometimes I feel like a failure.

Jun 23

I SCREAMED

Posted on Monday, June 23, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Sports, Values

tennis-time-2-1181224-mI SCREAMED on Father’s Day.

I screamed.
More than once.
Honestly, it was shocking to me.
And, I was the screamer.

We we having fun as a fam playing tennis.
I know how I play tennis.
But, I haven’t played in a while.
My knowledge and my skills didn’t jive.

One miss-hit led to another and another.
Anger built.
Anger boiled.
I SCREAMED!

I’m screamed at myself, because…

Oct 31

Listen, Don’t T.R.I.P.

Posted on Thursday, October 31, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

tripThis week I’m focusing on five listening moments.

Monday was Listening to Understand
Tuesday was Listen Deeply
Wednesday was Listen Beneath The Surface

Listen In

Too often I thought I knew what someone was going to say. Too often I’ve made wrong assumptions, flawed judgments and drawn the wrong conclusions. I’m well intentioned, but I unfortunately T.R.I.P. and stumble and hurt others.

The acronym T.R.I.P. is a warning to me to be a better listener; maybe it will help you too.

Live It

T – Listen Tenderly
R – Listen Respectfully
I – Listen to avoid Ignorance
P – Listen, be Patient

Oct 29

Listen Deeply

Posted on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 in How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

longing_2A year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Monday was Listening to Understand

Listen In

Listening, really listening, makes a huge difference in our relationships.
– We hear more of what’s being said
– We quiet our need to be in control
– The speaker feels more lovable as we pay attention
– We assure the speaker feels worthwhile as we listen
– Our self-respect grows as we commend ourselves as capable listeners

Aug 9

A Poem of Hope by Chris Whitford

Posted on Friday, August 9, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

IMG_8858

We’re gonna finish this week on mysilentscream with an insightful poem by Chris Whitford.

Hope licked its salty lips
And hung close as we both kissed

The lovely hearts of the amazing people

The hearts I keep close to me
In case the hope goes right through me

The hope of TreeHouse is an amazing thing
So don’t give up hope, no, don’t give up heart
Don’t leave this love in shards
Because the hate will eat you alive

But together we can strive
And be the best we can be
They even see the best in me

Aug 8

Hope: What You Want

Posted on Thursday, August 8, 2013 in Emotional, Music, Relational, Social, Values

Evanescence_What_You_Want_single_coverartAs you begin reading today, give Evanescence’s song “What You Want” a listen.

I asked some friends at TreeHouse, “What line stands out? Why that one?”

My friends Erin, Gabe, and Kelly liked:

Do what you, what you want
If you have a dream for better

Erin and Gabe agreed, “I like doing what I want.” Kelly added, “If you want to do something, don’t let people hold you back from doing something good.”

Chris liked:

Stand and face the unknown (got to remember who you really are)

Aug 7

Chameleon

Posted on Wednesday, August 7, 2013 in Education, Emotional, Relational, Social, TreeHouse, Values

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADo you know someone who really works hard at being someone else?

We all do.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe it’s you.

I have been that person.

When I was in high school I sometimes felt desperate for friends. When I was included – even for a moment – I would try to blend in.

One night I had a guy tell me, “you’re like a chameleon.”

It was true.
I tried to fit in.
I would even try to talk and act like others.

The truth is, I seldom was really accepted.
Not by them.
And not by me.

Aug 3

Watch Your Words Diligently

Posted on Saturday, August 3, 2013 in Relational

JesusCallingA few years ago my wife introduced me to Sarah Young’s writing. In 2004 Thomas Nelson published Jesus Calling.

Jesus Calling is a book of daily inspiration written from the perspective of Jesus Christ speaking to the reader. My wife likes it so much she has given away several copies.

Eventually her enthusiasm led me to download a copy.

I’m not a daily Jesus Calling reader, but I’m almost never disappointed when I take the time to read Sarah’s writing. Today in particular her words challenged me and my sense of humor.

Watch Your Words Diligently

Apr 2

Peer Pressure

Posted on Tuesday, April 2, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Social, TreeHouse, Values

sign-manypathsRecently I sat among a group of people all of whom respected one another. We share some common goals. We share some common hopes and dreams. While we were discussing those goals and hopes and dreams, one person spoke up.

The room of people turned.
We looked and listened.

She is well-respected.
She is respect-worthy.
She has a very respected legacy.

She is a leader among leaders.

And, in this group of people:
When she spoke people listened.
When she led people followed.
When she thought out-loud people agreed.

And, when she had a misguided suggestion there was buy-in.