Choices, like yours and mine, often make sense at the moment of decision, but too often impulsive decisions come with unexpected consequences. This is part-6 of the “10 for 25” series on important lessons I’ve learned at TreeHouse.
The Moment Of Decision
I love softball. Several years ago while playing in a softball tournament I was faced with a decision that has affected thousands of people since.
Let me explain.
Posted on Friday, October 3, 2014
in Music, Relational, Social, TreeHouse, Values
I spent hours this week listening to and reading the lyrics of the current Billboard Hot 100. Musicians are often viewed as spokespersons of their generation.
For the cynics among us, it’s not all bad news.
At TreeHouse every week we remind our teens that “you’re not alone” because so many people – young and old – feel like they are the only one dealing with those feelings and thoughts. So it’s good news that two of the most popular songs have self-affirming messages.
Meghan Trainor “All About That Bass”
Posted on Wednesday, November 20, 2013
in Education, Emotional, Relational, Social, Values
It’s nearly Finals Week for many students. As Finals week approaches Seniors in high school typically have one of four responses. They might be Soakers, Succumbers, those who are Saddened and those who are Survivors.
Soakers – They soak it all in knowing that it can be a year of highlights they will enjoy for life
Succumbers – They succumb to “senioritis” and bide their time until graduation when they can take their next steps.
Saddened – They feel regret knowing that most of their classmates will graduate, but they will not– whether because circumstances within their control, or circumstances that they could not.
We’re gonna finish this week on mysilentscream with an insightful poem by Chris Whitford.
Hope licked its salty lips
And hung close as we both kissed
The lovely hearts of the amazing people
The hearts I keep close to me
In case the hope goes right through me
The hope of TreeHouse is an amazing thing
So don’t give up hope, no, don’t give up heart
Don’t leave this love in shards
Because the hate will eat you alive
But together we can strive
And be the best we can be
They even see the best in me
Posted on Thursday, August 8, 2013
in Emotional, Music, Relational, Social, Values
As you begin reading today, give Evanescence’s song “What You Want” a listen.
I asked some friends at TreeHouse, “What line stands out? Why that one?”
My friends Erin, Gabe, and Kelly liked:
Do what you, what you want
If you have a dream for better
Erin and Gabe agreed, “I like doing what I want.” Kelly added, “If you want to do something, don’t let people hold you back from doing something good.”
Stand and face the unknown (got to remember who you really are)
Posted on Wednesday, August 7, 2013
in Education, Emotional, Relational, Social, TreeHouse, Values
Do you know someone who really works hard at being someone else?
We all do.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe it’s you.
I have been that person.
When I was in high school I sometimes felt desperate for friends. When I was included – even for a moment – I would try to blend in.
One night I had a guy tell me, “you’re like a chameleon.”
It was true.
I tried to fit in.
I would even try to talk and act like others.
The truth is, I seldom was really accepted.
Not by them.
And not by me.
Two teens on two Tuesdays.
They made opposite decisions.
They experienced different outcomes.
A feared gang leader sauntered into the room.
He looked nervous, but none of the teens in the room saw it.
They saw “him.”
TreeHouse is an incredibly safe place.
Suddenly, for them, it felt unsafe.
I knew the reaction.
I didn’t know him.
He was required to be there.
He stayed ten minutes and left.
I followed, hoping we could have a conversation another day.
He didn’t stop.
He didn’t speak.
I never saw him again.
Sadly, he was killed in a gang-related incident within a year.
Today some friends and I will be addressing, printing, folding, stuffing, sealing and stamping letters and envelopes. As much as we might want the letter to arrive if one of those steps gets missed the letters will not likely reach their destination.
Of course we could be sincere, earnest, dependable and determined. but…
… if the address is wrong it won’t reach the intended readers
… if the print is illegible the readers can’t read it
… if the folds are in the wrong places the letters won’t fit
… if the letters are stuffed in a haphazard way they won’t seal
… if the “seal” on the envelope doesn’t seal the letter may fall out
… if the stamp is not affixed the letter will not be delivered
Posted on Friday, December 7, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values
What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?
Your parent may be right.
Your parent may be wrong.
Your teen may be realistic.
Your teen may be deluded.
One principle helps me make sense of other people — even very smart people — who make stupid choices.
The principle: Most people do what they believe makes sense.
This weekend teens will:
– Lie to their parents about where they are going
– Lie to their parents about what they will be doing
– Lie to their parents about where they will spend the night
– Lie to their parents about who they will be with
Posted on Wednesday, September 5, 2012
in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values
Fully Alive by Ken Davis challenges us to step out of our comfort zones, and yesterday as part of being fully alive we discussed the importance of making friends and building deep friendships.
You Can’t Fake Being Fully Alive
“You can fool people for a while, but eventually they will know. And you can never fool yourself.
Being alive is more than simply looking fluffed up and combed out on the outside. It’s a matter of attitude. And that comes from the inside. Approaching…challenges with the right attitude is the first and most important step you can take. Your attitude will launch your dreams or bury them.”