What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?

Your parent may be right.
Your parent may be wrong.
Your teen may be realistic.
Your teen may be deluded.

One principle helps me make sense of other people — even very smart people — who make stupid choices.

The principle: Most people do what they believe makes sense.

This weekend teens  will:
– Lie to their parents about where they are going
– Lie to their parents about what they will be doing
– Lie to their parents about where they will spend the night
– Lie to their parents about who they will be with

Fully Alive by Ken Davis challenges us to step out of our comfort zones, and yesterday as part of being fully alive we discussed the importance of making friends and building deep friendships.

You Can’t Fake Being Fully Alive

“You can fool people for a while, but eventually they will know. And you can never fool yourself.

Being alive is more than simply looking fluffed up and combed out on the outside. It’s a matter of attitude. And that comes from the inside. Approaching…challenges with the right attitude is the first and most important step you can take. Your attitude will launch your dreams or bury them.”

Yesterday I posted my review of Fully Alive by Ken Davis.

Davis’ book challenges us to step out of our comfort zones to build deep friendships.

Today is the first day of school for millions of children; it’s an ideal opportunity to build on old friendships or to start building new ones.

How Can I Build Friendships?

Davis explains, “Making friends is like exercise; it requires discipline and vigilance.”  1
– It takes time
– It takes patience
– It takes graciousness.

Graciousness?

Sometimes I feel like a failure.

Whether it’s feeling overwhelmed, “I don’t have enough money”, “there’s not enough time”, or just being lazy, a fear of failure or the fear of success, or the classic “I’ll get to it later”, sometimes things just don’t get done.

What else can go wrong?

So many things, including:
– Unexpected car repairs: ~$600
– Two computers that stopped working
– Late for work
– Misplaced paperwork
And, that’s just in the last three days

How Can We Fight Back?

Here’s a formula I’m using:

This week on mysilentscream is not just about How To Make Your School Year Easier, it’s how to make your life more enjoyable.

For instance,
– My office is covered with post-summer, unsorted remains that need to get put away.
– My study is still a mess, and I’m married to a great professional declutterer!! (It’s NOT her fault!)
– My book — Beyond Whatever — is well-past due for my self-imposed deadline.

But, I know that I’m not the only one who procrastinates out there.

On behalf of my son Josh, and all students starting school this week and next, allow me to remind you of these excellent suggestions:

Ask questions, it will help you in the long run. 

Be yourself, you will be more popular that way.

Check for toilet paper when you enter the stall.

Don’t procrastinate; there won’t be time later.

Get good sleep, each night, it makes school easier.

If you fall asleep in class, expect your teacher to embarrass you.

So many teens and adults are tense as the school year ends.

Teens who encounter their bullies with their last-day-of-school threats.
Bullies who want to make a final statement before summer.

Teachers whose patience has run out.
School administrators who are running on fumes.

Co-workers trying to figure out day care choices.
Colleagues worried about their unsupervised teens.
Police officers dreading the last day of school drama.

And, all of us who care about them.

Here’s some life-transforming advice for all of us:

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.

I’m listening to an Aerosmith concert recorded when I was a teen; I loved Steven Tyler’s voice then, but I like the new old-guy even better.

“Sweet Emotion” is playing.  “Can’t say where I’m gonna be in a year…Said my get up and go musta got up & went.”

Read that again, “my get up and go musta got up & went.“  That sounds like most students, and school faculty, I know.  They want to finish strong, but wow, they’re looking at the finish line, but it looks like a lot of work to get there.

As the NCAA Basketball Tournament continues I think back to the only basketball tournament I even played in.  For some reason the adult league in which I played allowed most if not all teams to play in the end of the year tournament.  Injuries, absences and poor play contributed to our team’s terrible record, but during the tournament all the pieces came together and we nearly won.

I love playing defense, and then, and now, I played with determination and success.
On the other hand, I dreaded every time I had an open shot.

Did you watch the Super Bowl?

Here’s a short summary:
Eli Manning was poised.  
Tom Brady looked panicked.
Aaron Hernandez dropped two passes.  
Mario Manningham caught the one that mattered most.

As you can imagine Manning and Manningham play for the Super Bowl winning New York Giants.

Winners Win

NFL players are generally assumed to be the best players in their sport in the world.  While some would argue that the Giants and the New England Patriots were not great teams, they were successful and won when it mattered most.