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Oct 2

Lessons From The Top

Posted on Thursday, October 2, 2014 in Music, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

true-falseI spent hours today listening to and reading the lyrics of the current Billboard Hot 100. Every generation has it’s spokespersons. Musicians are often viewed as spokespersons of their generation. I was looking for insight and wisdom.

What I found were some very common themes.

Today I’ll share these.

Lessons From The Top

Life has no meaning.
Life is short; play and party hard.

Don’t waste time searching for meaning. Life is random and painful; get high or suffer through it.

Payback and revenge make wrongs right.
I can find meaning through fun, fame, cars, jewelry, etc.

Oct 18

6 Reasons To Check Your Tongue

Posted on Friday, October 18, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sign-donotcrushWe’ve all done it.
We’ve lashed out.
Defended ourselves.
Attacked the other.
We justified our choices.
We felt our self-pity.

That might have “worked” in the past.
There is another way.
The time is now to model a new strategy.

The Truth

You’ve been hurt. You’ve left the wounds. You’ve felt the hurtful words and you’ve thrown the verbal jabs and painful punches.

It’s counter-cultural, but I’d really like to encourage you to take to heart the value of humility.

Oct 17

Honest But Hurtful

Posted on Thursday, October 17, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

freeimage-2675170-webJustified By Anger

“You gotta be yourself…”
“I was like…”
“But then that b**** said…”

“She talks too much!
“I woulda told that hoe…”
“But that stupid b**** said…”

“Hey, I’m just being REAL…”
“I’ve gotta be able to say how I feel. I don’t care, I’m stand up.”

I know you’ve heard it.
Have you thought it?
Maybe you said it.

Justified By Self-Pity

Can’t relate to any of those? How about the awkward moment when you realize you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway. Or your daydreaming your way through those perfect conversations where finally everyone agrees the other person was at fault.

Jul 6

Remember Me, I Want Revenge (Justice).

Posted on Friday, July 6, 2012 in Education, Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Remember me, I want revenge.

I had many revenge fantasies when I was in junior high:
– Revenge against the guy who would flip my school books out of my hand.
– Revenge against the guy who would push me down the stairs.
– Revenge against the guy who sat on my chest and pummeled my face.
– Revenge against the guy who stuffed me upside down in the lunchroom trash can.
– Revenge…revenge…revenge…the stories would go on.

I had never been strong, powerful, popular or courageous, so my revenge fantasies were just that.  No way to get back.  No way to gather forces.  And, no, I never told anyone in authority. I should have.

May 16

Ever Feel Alone?

Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.
You tried to make him happy and didn’t.
You tried to make her happy and didn’t.

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.

And Now…

You feel frustrated because life sucks, and your daydream begins to feel like a nightmare.  “My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.” 1 

And people find out what happened.  They start talking about what they think happened.  They start guessing what you did, or what you could have or should have done.  Then they start gossiping, “Their insults have broken my heart…If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” 2

May 15

You Can’t Make Her Happy!

Posted on Tuesday, May 15, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social

Too often we feel responsible for someone else’s happiness.

The Lie

We believe the lie that “I can make someone happy,” and “I can make someone unhappy.”

Because we embrace those lies when relationships fall apart so do we.

She believes, “I wasn’t a good enough girlfriend, so he left me.”
He believes, “I was not there for her when she needed me most, so she left me.”
She believes, “I’m a failure, so he left me.”
He believes, “I unconsciously drove her away, so she left me.”
They believe, “I wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening, so … my heart breaks.”

May 14

You Can’t Make Him Happy!

Posted on Monday, May 14, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Sports, Values

In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.”  Yesterday I reviewed the book The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.

In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules, but baseball is a piece of cake compared to “the code” we try to decode when we’re in relationships.

Code – “It’s not working out…”

She seemed so sweet.  We’d text one another all day, every day.  Now nothing.  I guess I didn’t make her happy.

May 12

The Baseball Codes by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca

Posted on Saturday, May 12, 2012 in Reviews, Sports, Values

In baseball, as in life, there are the written rules and the unwritten rules.  In major league baseball the unwritten rules are known as “the code.”

While I’d heard of “the code,” it’s even more complicated than I realized.

This week I finished reading The Baseball Codes: Beanballs, Sign Stealing, and Bench-Clearing Brawls: The Unwritten Rules of America’s Pastime by Jason Turbow and Michael Duca.

As a lifelong baseball fan I found it valuable to understand how the game of baseball is actually played by major league players.

Nov 22

Thanksgiving Advice #2 – Dealing With Angry “Loved Ones”

Posted on Monday, November 22, 2010 in Emotional, Relational, Social

When tempers flare during your holiday gatherings here’s another piece of wise advice:

Choose to not to use hurtful words.

A hot-tempered person starts fights;
a cool-tempered person stops them.

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply;
it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!
[Proverbs 15:18, 23]

You do not have to hurt the other person back.  Their words do not have power over you, you do.