Dating difficulties drag us down.  Whether it’s crying our way through a painful breakup, dealing with being dumped, or coping with the obvious sense  that we’ve blundered, blown it and need to move on, they all drag us down.

Dragged Down

Maybe you don’t have dating drama.  Maybe you’re jealous of the cute girl in the next cubicle, the muscular guy in the seat next to you, or the smart girl who always has the right answer.

Maybe you’re an unemployed NFL referee whose mistakes were played over and over on national TV. 

I’m wrestling with myself, because…

I hate when I mess up.
I hate when I let down my guard.
I hate when I lower my standards.
I hate when I try to wiggle out.
I hate when I rationalize my choices.
I hate when I justify my behavior.
I hate when I make excuses.
I hate when I settle.
I hate when I plot stupid stuff.
I hate when I hide my failures.

Taxes are due this week. Tax preparers prepare tax returns, but what’s a dad to do with his drunk son who lives with his ex-wife? 1

Let me explain.

Desean loved his friends. It’s not that he disliked his family, he just loved to get out of his noisy, cramped apartment to have fun.

One night, a Wednesday night, at 11:30 P.M. you got a call from your ex. She snarled, “Is D there? He hasn’t come home.”

He hadn’t. You hadn’t any idea why she was asking, but based on her tone of voice she was angry, frustrated and scared.

Braveheart’s William Wallace declared, “I am William Wallace! And I see a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You’ve come to fight as free men… and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?” 1

What will you do with that freedom?  This week I’m exploring the theme of freedom.

My Freedom

Freedom and me have not always been good friends.

My parents taught me to respect people, animal and things, work hard and live a law-abiding life.  They did their best. 

Being a dad is hard; harder than I realized it would be.

I knew it would be a challenge.  I was nervous when Amy wanted to become parents.  I knew it was a lot of responsibility.  I knew it might be a thankless job.  I knew what tough times I put my parents through.

I also knew that I wanted to be a good dad.  I wanted to be the kind of dad that got it right.

In my list of life goals I wrote, “I want to be the kind of dad that my kids love and admire.”

On Friday Shannon read this story that my dad had sent to us.  It captured my attention.  I hope it captures yours too.

“DON’T LEAVE IT ON THE DESK”

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States .

Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course their freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Do not try to change the other person, the change starts with ourselves.

While writing this I feel many feelings.  Amy and I are at peace but conflicts have arisen in other areas of my life, unforeseen conflicts that leave me feeling wounded, bloodied, scared and scarred.  Realistically I cannot change anyone else.  In the midst of conflict I have to deal with myself.

Dealing with Conflicts

Suggestions:

1. Pray for wisdom to see situations clearly.
2. If you screw up, fess up.
3. Ask God for strength and discipline to change.
4. Stop sinning before something worse happens.
5. Ask others to help you stay on the right path.

Back in January my friend Tim Geoffrion wrote an insightful post entitled “When Loving Gets Tough.”

“When conflicts arise or we have been hurt, or when others really irritate or offend us, it can be really tough to love them…For any number of reasons, our intention or attempts to love others can fall short.”

We want to love.  We want to act lovingly.  It’s our plan.  We think loving thoughts.  We would tell other friends or family members that we love ___, but when the conflicts arise it does not look very loving.