The Love & Respect Experience By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
“A Husband-Friendly Devotional That Wives Truly Love”

If you’re a typical husband:
– you’re not eager to be vulnerable
– you don’t want to be corrected or enjoy opportunities to challenge your behavior
– you don’t want to schedule weekly interrogation sessions
Those concerns are addressed in the book. 

This book is meant to build you up, not to break you down.

The devotions are easy to follow and quite short — 800-900 words each — three or four minutes of reading.

I’m a man.  Of the clan “men.”  I love going to church.

That said, Murrow’s title was compelling.  Here’s what I learned.

Here are his chapter titles and my brief summaries:

PART 1: WHERE ARE THE MEN?

1. Perfectly Designed – The church needs a re-design to open doors to men.
2. Yes, There Really Is a Gender Gap – And, it’s increasing worldwide
3. Men: Who Needs ’Em? – We do they bring balance, energy and drive
4. Who Are the Missing Men? – They’re getting “results” somewhere.
5. The Masculinity Bank – A typical man won’t do something he believes is feminine.
6. The Two Jesuses – We’re taught God’s meekness we no longer fear his wrath.

On more than one occasion someone has suggested that I am competitive. The truth is they’re right, but it’s much deeper than that “I am competitive.”

Broomball

I learned to play broomball courtesy of Bethel U’s VP Ralph Gustafson. In 1987 Ralph was the youth pastor of Bethel Baptist Church of Green Bay, WI. I was Ralph’s “Youth Ministry Associate” or some such title. I worked long hours, got paid for a few and loved my boss and the teens so much I volunteered the rest of the time.

Taz, our dog, usually ran into his “dog run” to take care of “his business.” 1

In his last months, despite his best intentions he didn’t always make it. That’s inconvenient, but it’s not a problem when it’s outside, someone notices what’s going on and she or he responds promptly.

On-the-other-hand, it can become a big problem if:
– Inside, not outside, well, hopefully he made it into the kitchen.
– Someone fails to notice, and there is now an unforeseen minefield awaiting.
– Someone fails to respond, and now there the minefield is caused by neglect too.

It happened again!  
Someone was standing near me talking and I thought they were talking to me.
I responded to his question.
I heard him say, “No, someone thinks I’m talking to him.”
He was on his cell phone.

Thoughtless Thinking

Some people will say anything on their cell phone while standing in line at a store.

When will she wake up?!?
I can’t believe what a &^%& he is!
I’ve had enough.  I give up.
She’s such a &*^*&!

It seems every week I overhear someone complaining about “it happening again.”

Yesterday after church Amy and went grocery shopping.  I love the grocery store.  I couldn’t shop for you and love it, because my shopping joy is wrapped up in my absolute delight in the anticipation of eating and enjoying the food I am gathering.

As I reflect on my trip through the grocery store aisles I’m struck with three amazements:

1.  I am amazed at how many foods that are for sale I never eat.

As I mentioned yesterday, Norman Vincent Peale How To Get Along With People. Here are a few more of his insights. I believe that these principles will help you and me to improve the depth and quality of our relationships.

6. Stimulating. Cultivate the quality of being stimulating. If being with you makes people feel better and more alive, you will be sought after and your personal relations will be excellent.

7. Scratchy. Personal relations deteriorate when a person has scratchy elements in the personality. That is to say, do not rub people the wrong way. Be relaxed and affable.

Norman Vincent Peale taught a generation of people to improve relationships, set aside differences and build community.  Here are a few of his insights.

HOW TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE

1. Like. If you genuinely like people, like to be with them, like to talk with them, and like to be helpful to them, you will find that people generally will like you. When mutual liking exists, people get along with one another.

2. Interest. Always be interested in the other person’s activities and ideas. Direct conversation to the other’s interests rather than talking about yourself. If you are absorbed in another’s interests, he will become attentive yours and you will have a pleasant time together.

As a gardener I am learning the importance of fertile soil.

Last year we added three garden boxes.  This year we added three more.  Each time we mixed 1/3 compost with 1/3 peat moss with 1/3 course vermiculite.  Tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, several species of peppers, beans, and watermelon all love it.  They thrived in this soil mix.  After all thriving plants produce great results.

Thriving people produce great relationships.

Bold love — love that can provide room for hard conversations — needs a good mix to grow healthy realationships.

People thrive when they have a good mix of soil.

This week I’m writing about “bold love”, caring enough to confront.  As I begin, I wonder about your life, and your history.  I’m curious what your experiences, thoughts and feelings are when tensions rise in your relationships.

I’m wondering, when people have confronted you how did you respond?

Is timing the key?  “Choose the right time and I’ll listen to anyone.”  Or, “Tell me what’s on your mind at anytime.”  Like most people you’re probably somewhere in between.

What if the person is right, are you still defensive? 

What if the person is wrong, do you automatically feel angry and offended?