My friend Jimmy Cooper has one of those experiences that you want, and don’t want to have. I’ll let him explain. 1

 On January 19th, 2012 -  I was with my wife Christiane in our apartment in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. We had been out on a date and we had just gotten home. Actually, I guess we had been home for an hour or so and it was pretty late at night, about 1:30am. I started having an overwhelming feeling that I needed to lie down. It was out of the blue and I couldn’t fight it, so I lay down in bed and closed my eyes. I wasn’t feeling well and it came on so quickly, I just had to close my eyes.

I sat down in a coffee shop today.  A young professional to my left.  Another man to my right.  One sat with a beverage, a laptop and fine clothes.  The man to my right sat wearing shabby, unkempt clothes, with nothing in front of him.

Those of you who know me well probably laughed: a) that I noticed; and b) that someone dressed less “casually” than I did.

I thought I’d be nice.  After setting down my stuff, I said to the man on my right, “You don’t have a beverage, can I buy you one?”  He said, “No, thank you.”  I walked to the counter.  Five minutes later he left. 

New Year Old Problems

She looked like a model.  She walked like a model; but the look at her eyes was different.

I felt sad when I looked in her eyes. They looked empty.  Dark and vacant, they “felt” empty.  Worse still she felt worthless; like the empty packaging of unwrapped presents.

She felt like trash.  She lived trashy.

Filled with beauty and potential.  When she was born her family had such high hopes. We wanted so much more for her than she was now facing.

What happened?  Where did she go wrong?

Friday I met with one of my favorite people. For more than a decade Erica Wilson and I worked together at TreeHouse. While Erica is disinclined to gamble with her money, recently she gambled with her life. Erica left behind her job, friends and family and moved to Belize for three months.

While it was not a permanent departure from her life in Minnesota, it was a significant life transition.

I asked her, “How do you gamble losing all that?“

Erica smiled with a slight shrug, “The only thing that comes to mind is that I trusted God with it completely.”

Here’s how I deal with my sins, honestly and directly, first with God, and then with the people I’ve hurt.

I have found  that the Scriptures, and especially the Psalms, help me to have words to express myself when I am guilty.

“Save me, God, for the water has risen to my neck.” [Ps. 69:1]

God I’m drowning. I know I chose what I chose, but I had no idea that this would happen!

“God, You know my foolishness, and my guilty acts are not hidden from You.” [Ps. 69:5]

Hide and seek was always one of my favorite games.  Small and skinny I fit in small places.  Somewhat reckless I hod where others wouldn’t. I was almost never found.

Sometimes it seems like God plays hide and seek with us.

Sometimes God seems so elusive.  God seems to come close, but then, so quickly, God seems farther away.  Farther away, and hard to find.

And, sometimes I feel so spiritually alive, but then, so quickly, it all seems to fade.

Have you ever experienced that?

Fortunately, we’re not alone.  Abraham, Moses and David come to mind immediately.  We’re not alone. 1

Shame Lays In The Shadows  

Shame waits.  Watching.  Looking for an opportunity; to pounce!

Shame, researcher Brene Brown explains, “is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection.”  That “there [is] something about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection.”

Shame tells us we will, and should, be rejected by others.

Brown goes on to explain that the “only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection…we all know that feeling: ‘I’m not blank enough. I’m not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough.’ ” 1

This week I’m examining the theme of freedom and the words of William Wallace from the movie Braveheart.

Scotland

I admire people who have courage to do what’s right. William Wallace believed that the people deserved leaders who served the interests of the people.  And he was brave enough to speak up.

Wallace challenged the Scottish nobility that they should pursue freedom for the common Scots, but they were more interested in their own safety, privilege and wealth, than the welfare of the people.

Six Words of wisdom for worriers:

Worry about nothing – pray about everything. 1

I’ve spent the week on the Wolf River rafting with TreeHouse.  It’s a fun river and a great time to connect with people especially during the lazy drifting times on the river.

The rapids and the waterfalls are wonderful opportunities for teamwork, developing communication skills, and decision making.

This picture of me in Sullivan Falls might look scary — and it’s a bit unnerving — was a time I had to think clearly so that I could reach the shore safely.

Perhaps you’ve watched one of these recent films The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian or more recently, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  Each of the movies is based on a novel by C.S. Lewis.

Lewis was a teacher, writer and theologian. He wrote books which were witty and wise, warm and welcoming.

Beware Freedom Which Relies On People