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Mar 17

Taz

Posted on Monday, March 17, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

with Taz and Josh 96This is a 1996 picture of our son Josh, our daughter Shannon and our dog Taz

Taz was a miniature schnauzer; a little dog with a big-dog personality. Taz was fun and funny.

Taz loved people. Taz would find his ball and set it into your lap. He was inviting you to play with him.

Taz loved to play fetch.
Taz learned to flip his head and open his mouth at the same time.
In doing so, he could throw his ball back to you!

Jan 30

Need a Jump-Start? Let Go Of Judgments

Posted on Thursday, January 30, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

boy13777990034qk36It’s freezing cold in Minnesota this week. Many cars lay dead needing a jump-start.

Many of us need a jump-start in our cold heart.  My suggestion: Let go of judgments.

“One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier,” wrote Leo Babauta, “is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.” Yesterday we highlighted Leo’s insightful post Letting Go of Judging People.

I know I’m imperfect, I’m flawed. I’m a sinner. I have no right to judge anyone, but I still judge others far too often.

Dec 31

5 Relationship Tips from Big Bang Theory

Posted on Tuesday, December 31, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

BBTThis Christmas my wife bought me (by my request) season 6 of CBS’s The Big Bang Theory television show.

1. Be patient. 1

Bernadette: So, you actually see you and Sheldon getting married someday?
Amy: Not just someday. In exactly four years. But don’t tell Sheldon. He’s still a flight risk.

Patient fishing catches fish. Impatient pursuit scares away many potential catches.

2. Don’t be pushy. 2

Oct 31

Listen, Don’t T.R.I.P.

Posted on Thursday, October 31, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

tripThis week I’m focusing on five listening moments.

Monday was Listening to Understand
Tuesday was Listen Deeply
Wednesday was Listen Beneath The Surface

Listen In

Too often I thought I knew what someone was going to say. Too often I’ve made wrong assumptions, flawed judgments and drawn the wrong conclusions. I’m well intentioned, but I unfortunately T.R.I.P. and stumble and hurt others.

The acronym T.R.I.P. is a warning to me to be a better listener; maybe it will help you too.

Live It

T – Listen Tenderly
R – Listen Respectfully
I – Listen to avoid Ignorance
P – Listen, be Patient

Aug 9

A Poem of Hope by Chris Whitford

Posted on Friday, August 9, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

IMG_8858

We’re gonna finish this week on mysilentscream with an insightful poem by Chris Whitford.

Hope licked its salty lips
And hung close as we both kissed

The lovely hearts of the amazing people

The hearts I keep close to me
In case the hope goes right through me

The hope of TreeHouse is an amazing thing
So don’t give up hope, no, don’t give up heart
Don’t leave this love in shards
Because the hate will eat you alive

But together we can strive
And be the best we can be
They even see the best in me

Aug 8

Hope: What You Want

Posted on Thursday, August 8, 2013 in Emotional, Music, Relational, Social, Values

Evanescence_What_You_Want_single_coverartAs you begin reading today, give Evanescence’s song “What You Want” a listen.

I asked some friends at TreeHouse, “What line stands out? Why that one?”

My friends Erin, Gabe, and Kelly liked:

Do what you, what you want
If you have a dream for better

Erin and Gabe agreed, “I like doing what I want.” Kelly added, “If you want to do something, don’t let people hold you back from doing something good.”

Chris liked:

Stand and face the unknown (got to remember who you really are)

Jun 28

6 Ways To Help People Who Messed Up

Posted on Friday, June 28, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

536498_mother_and_sonEvery time we choose to show empathy we bless the other person with respect and we bless ourselves with self-respect.

Show empathy to those who mess up.

6 Ways To Help People Who Messed Up

1. Help her or him to realize what they have done.

2. Don’t make things worse by supporting their error or giving them excuses.

3. Listen for what is behind what they have done.

4. Tell them the truth.
– Locate The Trouble Spots.
– Try to assess what has gone wrong.
– Ask yourself, “How did we get into this mess?”
– Apologize When You’re Wrong.
– It is foolish to let pride and insecurity keep us from repairing and restoring.

Jun 27

You Get Me

Posted on Thursday, June 27, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

teenage_brother_and_sisterI spend a lot of time with loud, laughing teenagers. I love their energy. I love their whimsy. I love their willingness to have fun.

Have you ever been in a store, library or restaurant and noticed a group of teens gathered near you who were louder than anyone else?

Maybe they were aware of how loud they were.
Maybe they were not.

I also spend a fair amount of time with “socially awkward” teens. Some are more awkward than others:
– They ask questions at inopportune times:
“Can we go to McDonalds now?”

– They uninhibitedly comment, assess and judge:
“Scott, you’re an xxxhole.”

– They uninhibitedly say what most people would not:
“I like (masturbating).”

May 17

Is Grace Happening To You?

Posted on Friday, May 17, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

jesus_in_the_gardenIs grace happening to you?
Is grace happening in you?
Is grace happening through you?

I’ve been stuck emotionally and spiritually more than I’d like to admit. Raise your hand if you can relate? Okay, we’re all “not alone.” But, let’s not stay stuck!

Looking to take a step forward in your life?

Want your actions to more closely match your intentions?

Me too!

Each of the themes below links to a previous mysilentscream post that has been helpful to readers looking to make a change. 1

Love – Tired of empty expressions of “love”?

Mar 20

Introvert’s Confusion

Posted on Wednesday, March 20, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

VsI love my family.
I love my friends.

I love spending time with them, most of the time.

Being an introvert with “a big heart” fills me with tension. 1

I Love People BUT…

I like working on projects alone.
I feel guilty when I would prefer not going to brainstorming meetings.

I like working “alone” in coffee shops…
… surrounded by people I don’t talk to.

I would rather tweet than chat.
I would rather text than talk on the phone.