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Oct 29

Listen Deeply

Posted on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 in How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

longing_2A year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Monday was Listening to Understand

Listen In

Listening, really listening, makes a huge difference in our relationships.
– We hear more of what’s being said
– We quiet our need to be in control
– The speaker feels more lovable as we pay attention
– We assure the speaker feels worthwhile as we listen
– Our self-respect grows as we commend ourselves as capable listeners

Oct 28

Listening to Understand

Posted on Monday, October 28, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

scream-37172-mA year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Listen In

“I can’t stand it!”, she said. An exasperated parent continued, “Don’t you hate it when you are in a nice restaurant and enjoying your meal and suddenly a screaming kid ruins it?” Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “I can’t stand when my mood and my meal is ruined someone’s screaming children.” As her angry exposition continued her face contorted, “This time it was MY son!”

Oct 25

Courage and Faith

Posted on Friday, October 25, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Sports, TreeHouse, Values

jesus_in_the_gardenOlympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas came to TreeHouse this week. I enjoyed learning more about this courageous and determined young woman.

Read # 1 Courage To Fly

Read #2 Courageous Sacrifice

Courage and Faith

Where does Gabby’s courage and faith come from?

Watch this video, Gabby’s faith in God drives her decision making. That kind of faith is sacrificial faith.

…since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship.

Oct 24

Courageous Sacrifice

Posted on Thursday, October 24, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Sports, TreeHouse, Values

Gabbys MomOlympic Gold Medalist Gabby Douglas is coming to TreeHouse today!

I’m enjoying learning more about this courageous and determined young woman.

Who is one of your favorite superheroes, and why? Why do we like stories about superheroes so much?

Many of us admire heroes for the sacrifices that they make for other people.

Courageous Sacrifice

Watch this video.  We admire Gabby for the sacrifices that she has made to achieve her gymnastics goals.

Gabby said, “Life is not easy you have to fight and not quit. I’m gonna fight for my dream.”

Jun 5

Address It

Posted on Wednesday, June 5, 2013 in Education, Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

a_studying_for_a_test_1Today some friends and I will be addressing, printing, folding, stuffing, sealing and stamping letters and envelopes. As much as we might want the letter to arrive if one of those steps gets missed the letters will not likely reach their destination.

Of course we could be sincere, earnest, dependable and determined. but…
… if the address is wrong it won’t reach the intended readers
… if the print is illegible the readers can’t read it
… if the folds are in the wrong places the letters won’t fit
… if the letters are stuffed in a haphazard way they won’t seal
… if the “seal” on the envelope doesn’t seal the letter may fall out
… if the stamp is not affixed the letter will not be delivered

Mar 22

Introverts Are A Treasure

Posted on Friday, March 22, 2013 in Education, Emotional, How To, Intellectual, Relational, Social, Values

202989_a_helping_handPrompted by my reading of Quiet by Susan Cain, this week we’ve explored introverts and extroverts their distinctive and their qualities. Including:

I Buy Coffee

An Introvert?!?

Introvert’s Confusion

And, Are YOU An Introvert or Extrovert?

Whether you’re a parent, a brother or sister, an aunt, uncle or neighbor, you know children. And, if you’re like me, quiet children can be a mystery.

Today, I’d like to let Susan Cain’s insights on introvert children speak for themselves. Oh, wait – let me say this first – my favorite quote from her about children is: “Don’t just accept your child for who she is; treasure her.”

Mar 13

Your Compassion

Posted on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

920325_sadness_5Monday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion, followed by Silently Express Your Compassion.

I would argue that undermost circumstances when we express compassion we are better to be silent that to talk too much.

It’s important to listen patiently without an agenda.
And, to listen compassionately without judgment.

We all need to listen patiently, graciously and sensitively; seeking neither to give advice nor to fix people.

Sometimes we do need to speak up. It’s a challenge to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

Mar 12

Silently Express Your Compassion

Posted on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

1022427_despairlonelynessYesterday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion borne out of pain.

Let me back up a step. For more than twenty years I have struggled to provide caring support for those in need.

You see, I’m a head-guy, more than a heart-guy.

As a cerebral-thinker it’s been a challenge to fit the deep emotional pain of people in pain within my worldview. It’s hard sometimes. Naturally I want to:
– Assess
– Fix
– Mind-map
– Problem-solve
– Trace things back to their origin

I want to manage, measure, navigate, unravel and diagnose.

Mar 11

How To Express Your Compassion

Posted on Monday, March 11, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

920325_sadness_5People pass away every day.

Parents are in pain every day.

Teens deal with backstabbing and drama every day.

What can you do to help?
What’s been most effective?

Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen patiently without an agenda.
Listen compassionately without judgment.

My Two Requests

My good friend Nick is flying tomorrow to support a loved one whose son was killed by a drunk driver.

If you’re a praying person – especially if you’re a parent – please pray for the young man’s grieving family and friends.

Jan 10

Just Faking It

Posted on Thursday, January 10, 2013 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

This past weekend I was in a conversation with a group of people about when they received their first pair of glasses. I received my first pair of glasses in second grade. I couldn’t read the blackboard in school very well.

One person said third grade.
Another said fifth grade.
A fourth person said, “in junior high.”

“Really?”, I asked.
He added, “Well, I needed them years before, but I was just faking it.”

Just Faking It

Ah, just faking it.

Too often we fake reality wishing it was different, when it’s not.