When we feel alone we look for relationships.
When we build relationships we look for connection.
When we recognize connection we hope for intimacy.
When we embrace intimacy…

… sometimes our hopes are dashed.

Our girlfriend is too manic.
Our boyfriend is too needy.
Our wife is too wounded.
Our husband is too self-centered.

And, it all comes crumbling down.

You can’t make her happy!
You can’t make him happy!
You feel so alone.

Left unchecked angry and loneliness are the ingredients for rage.

I hate this! Nothing makes sense.
I know I’m not good enough! And…
I know I will never be!

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.
You tried to make him happy and didn’t.
You tried to make her happy and didn’t.

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.

And Now…

You feel frustrated because life sucks, and your daydream begins to feel like a nightmare.  “My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.” 1 

And people find out what happened.  They start talking about what they think happened.  They start guessing what you did, or what you could have or should have done.  Then they start gossiping, “Their insults have broken my heart…If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” 2

Do you know that there are unwritten public bathroom rules?  Of course you do.  I live in the Midwest United States and I’m guessing that the unwritten public bathroom rules vary from place to place, but some things are common in most public bathrooms.

I was in Budapest Hungary alone suffering through an unplanned layover awaiting my next flight.  I was tired, lonely and uncomfortable.  I hadn’t slept in more than twenty four hours and all the strange people speaking strange languages had gotten to me.

I had already walked everywhere I could through the airport.  I had already “shopped” the one small Duty-Free shop that was open.

Ask most any child, teen, adult or senior citizen, “What is love?” and their answers will vary. They might not vary so much in the quaity of their experience, but the quantity of their experiences.

Sure, love involves feelings — romanticized by music, literature, and other media, but it’s also so much more.

We all yearn to create and — when we feel like we’re losing it — recreate the “love” what we feel we have lost.

Why do marriage fall apart?
Why do dating relationships between people who “love” one another fail?

They feel like the “love” is lost.

Broomball has always been an equalizer sport. Unless you play on a club level or a national level like my friend Paul Thyren, most of us play broomball for fun.

Fun racing around on slippery hockey rink with street shoes or boots wielding awkward brooms; then in a moment of hope you swing the broom hoping to connect with the ball and send it into the opposition’s goal.

Broomball Buddies

Broomball is a great sport to enjoy wintery fun with friends. Here from the winter of 1996 is my dear friend the late Adam Bieringer. Adam passed away in April of 2010 much too young.

I’ve read a couple of Stephen Arterburn books. Since I believe that Healing is a Choice I chose to give tHealing is a Choice a read.

The author explores 10 choices that he believes we need to make if we are to experience genuine and lasting healing.

1. The Choice to Connect your life
Lie – All I need to heal is just God and me.

2. The Choice to Feel your life
Lie – Real Christians should have peace in all circumstances

3. The Choice to Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth
Lie – It does no good to look back or look inside

Black Friday and Black Friday week ads are everywhere. 

I’m not immune to greed.

I want an iPod!  I’ve never had one.
I drive a ’96 minivan.  I want a new car.
I want  Batman: Arkham City.  It looks so fun!
I want Dave Matthews Band Eurpoe 2009 CD/DVD collection.  I love that band!
I want a bottle of Angel cologne.  It makes me smell so good.
I want a Wii to play games with Amy!

While we’re inundated with marketing strategies this week, I was determined not to shop for what I don’t need.  In order to cut my greed I decided to cultivate generosity by remembering what I was thankful for this past year.

I almost never remember my dreams. Yesterday I wrote to my friend Anastasiya, “I wish I had pleasant dreams”. This morning, just before I woke up, I was dreaming of hanging out with musician Dave Matthews after a show.

While there are several reasons not to like Dave Matthews’ music, but I still love most of his songs.  I and Paul Thyren, a friend and fantastic co-worker of mine, love the Dave Matthews Band.   One of our favorites is “Two Step.”  Listening to the extended jam that often accompanies Two Step played live brings me peace in a surreal, mellow, “I’m just glad to be here” kind of way.

Genuineness trumps tension, and shame crumbles too.

Blessed are those who:
1. Quit pretending about their sin.
2. Quit hiding their mistakes.
3. Quit hiding their pain.
4. Are willing to feel and be humbled by their guilt and pain.

Tomorrow night my wife Amy and I will be attending Sara Groves’ CD release concert. As I wrote yesterday I have been a fan since my friend Dan Adler first played us her song Generations.

I am excited to hear her in person, and I’m also anticipating her new album. 

Sara’s last album — Fireflies & Songs — was widely acclaimed, and even won as 2009 album of the year.  Commendably the reviewer added, “Already known for her transparent songwriting, Sara Groves gets even more piercingly honest on this, her ninth album. Whether her relationship with God, marital tension, or a private battle with anxiety, it’s poetically spilled forth…” 1