More Unintended Consequences

Clearly the consequences of our actions is not always foreseeable:
– Sometimes harmless pranks go horribly wrong
– Oversights have lead to industrial accidents
– Forgotten oil plugs destroy car engines

On a more personal level, sometimes…
– Friendly banter is misunderstood as flirting
– Couples breakup when they want nothing but
– Partyers having fun get alcohol poisoning
– People try meth and become addicts
– Teens have sex and become unintended parents
– Parents try to build a relationship with their kids and it seems to backfire

Even More Unintended Consequences

Unintended Consequences

The German weekly Der Spiegel has a report about the unintended consequences of child labor laws in one Pakistani city known for producing soccer balls.

Apparently children were frequently employed in the factories, until child labor “advocates” in the West forced companies like Nike and Adidas to ensure that their suppliers weren’t employing children. But what happened to the kids? Surely after they were freed from their toiling in the factories they went to school and now have well-paying office jobs, right?

People do what they do because somehow, some way, their hopelessness craves for hope.

Someone bombed the Boston Marathon Monday. Someone, somehow found some level of hope in creating horror for someone else.

That grain of truth is what they grasp onto and that allows them to justify their choices.

“None of us,” wrote Christopher Wright, ” needs to be scratched very deep to uncover the darker depths of our worst desires and the evil action any of us is capable of, if pushed.” Moreover, while we are not the overt cause of others’ suffering we cannot escape it’s consequences. 1

As he hung on the cross Jesus Christ quoted Psalm 22: Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

God asked God, “Where are you God?”

As we watch the news, view the video footage, listen to the radio hosts rant, discuss the events with others and ask our questions of God, it’s important to remember we are NOT alone. Pain and painful events make us ask the hard questions when life goes very, very wrong.

A warning: This post may contain hard things to read

Today’s tragic events in Boston bring many questions to my mind.
– Who’s hurt?
– Who’s helping?
– Who’s responsible?
– Who’s gonna capture the guilty?

And, inevitably, we cry out: Where is God?

Monday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion, followed by Silently Express Your Compassion.

I would argue that undermost circumstances when we express compassion we are better to be silent that to talk too much.

It’s important to listen patiently without an agenda.
And, to listen compassionately without judgment.

We all need to listen patiently, graciously and sensitively; seeking neither to give advice nor to fix people.

Sometimes we do need to speak up. It’s a challenge to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

Yesterday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion borne out of pain.

Let me back up a step. For more than twenty years I have struggled to provide caring support for those in need.

You see, I’m a head-guy, more than a heart-guy.

As a cerebral-thinker it’s been a challenge to fit the deep emotional pain of people in pain within my worldview. It’s hard sometimes. Naturally I want to:
– Assess
– Fix
– Mind-map
– Problem-solve
– Trace things back to their origin

I want to manage, measure, navigate, unravel and diagnose.

People pass away every day.

Parents are in pain every day.

Teens deal with backstabbing and drama every day.

What can you do to help?
What’s been most effective?

Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen patiently without an agenda.
Listen compassionately without judgment.

My Two Requests

My good friend Nick is flying tomorrow to support a loved one whose son was killed by a drunk driver.

If you’re a praying person – especially if you’re a parent – please pray for the young man’s grieving family and friends.

I had some shame stirring as I woke up: rude to my wife, messy with my stuff, snoring, gingivitis, etc. God knows I can digress if I sit in my junk for long.

When I do, I felt like a wreck. I know some of you have felt the same way:

I’m not even strong enough for myself
I’m falling to pieces
Honestly don’t care about anything anymore
Can’t go on living like this
I need someone to listen. No one can help me.

Fortunately, God is listening.

On the way to work in the back of my mind was playing:

We need wisdom.
We need clarity.

We need accountability.
We need to stop pretending.

We need to admit we need others.
We need someone to be honest with us.

We need to pull our head out of…
We need to shut down the machine we use to crank out “I can handle this alone.”

We Need Perspective

Usually when we’re worried or upset
that we start trying to force it, to fake it, to “make it happen,”
then things start falling apart;
it’s because we’ve lost perspective.