June 13, 1987, that’s our wedding day.

My wife and I have a monthly tradition to celebrate all “13th” of the month.

Like most couples we celebrate our anniversary each year.

Today we’re adding another tradition I hope happens again.

We’re now celebrating every 10,000 days too. =)

Today is our 10k-wedding-day anniversary!

10K ?

When I was a kid I hated math homework, but, over the years I’ve learned that I love math. Now, my favorite part of following sports is the analytics. 1

Angry teens.
Parents in pain.
Explosive children.
Perplexed neighbors.

What can we do?

Every child I’ve met wants to be affirmed that they are lovable, capable and worthwhile.

We can start there.

12 Ways To Encourage A Child (Ages 0-118)

“You Are Lovable!”: Give attention to their character.
– Who they are has greater value than what they achieve.
– Accept mistakes; show grace.
– Bad decisions, poor choices and mistakes can be great teachers.
– Offer unconditional love. Trust can be conditional, love cannot.

“You Are Capable!”

Shouting.
Crash.
Slam.

He could hear the yelling from the neighbors’ house every night.

Shouts of anger.
Shouts of pain.
Shouts of passion.
He wondered,
“Was there any gain?”

The Cost of Turmoil

Teens, families, friendships and all kinds of relationships suffer because of the lack of peaceful conflict resolution skills. Conflicts arise, those involved feel hurt, disappointed, afraid or frustrated, and it quickly turns into anger. Anger often erupts in retaliation or brutal honesty. Alienation increases, relationships are broken, and scars are formed.

We have a small bucket outside our garage door. When we don’t want to walk to the back corner of our backyard to the compost pile we toss compostable kitchen scraps into the bucket.

Yesterday as I threw some scraps into the bucket dozens of flies instantly and unexpectedly flew out of the bucket.

Flies

Al Andrews wrote a humble and insightful post entitled, What To Say When Everything Is Not “Fine”.

It made me think of our bucket of flies.

Today I’ll be visiting with some special friends. One of the subjects we well undoubtedly discuss is love: Family love. Parental love. Dating love. Romantic love. Marital love. The love for the arts, and love for the artists who create it.

I’m sure we will talk about love.

Tomorrow, my wife, Amy and I will celebrate our 326th month wedding anniversary. We’ll talk about our love.

After all this time you think maybe love would be a breeze, but no.

Selfishness creeps into my heart and mind so easily.

NOTE: Today’s #mysilentscream is about S_X. If your computer or network has filters that safeguard you and flag mail or websites about S_X you’ll have to get your #mysilentscream  elsewhere. =)

Today’s chalkboard: I will not carve gods.

When I was in elementary school I, like most kids, loved field trips. I loved them all, but one of my favorites was to the Field Museum in Chicago.

I loved the giant dinosaur skeleton!

Sex on the Second Level

“Love you gorgeous, I’ll be in there in ten minutes.”

It’s 2:00 A.M.  I just said that as Amy woke from her late night nap and staggered off to bed. I’ve said similar things hundreds of times.

Quirks

Schedules: Since we were married 27 years ago today I have gone to sleep second 98% of the time. Often times I am last to sleep and first one awake. We have almost always had different schedules.

Last night I was reading a book called, “Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome.”  Not because I had any inclinations to have an affair – I don’t – but because there is “grass” and I don’t want to ever think that it’s “greener.” So reading about how her marriage is overcoming her affair and “How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage” appeals to me.

“Blind Spots” led to her affair. “Blind Spots” led to the breakdown of their marriage.

We all have blind spots in our life; misguided thinking, bad decisions and the like. Often times other people can see our blind spots but we either ignore, deny, or dismiss them.

In this the final slice in a series of posts reflecting on the songs of Bruno Mars we’re examining the virtues of his perspective in his song “Just the Way You Are.”

If you need to catch up a bit:
1. Bruno, What’s On Your Mind?
2. Ruins and Regrets
3. 5 Suggestions 4 Living With A Broken Heart
4. Bonding In The Backseat, Breakup In The Bedroom

Just the Way You Are

On Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars wants the object of his affection to know that he thinks she’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve met a woman who didn’t want to be thought of as beautiful by her loved ones.

These last few days we’ve been looking at some Bruno Mars songs and lyrics since he was featured on the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Marriage

Today is Amy and my 320-month wedding anniversary. Yes, I still count months because I treasure our marriage.  MySilentScream is here Inspiring Great Relationships Every Day and I hope to inspire you to treasure marriage, whether it’s yours or not.

In “Marry You” Bruno sings,

Cause it’s a beautiful night,
We’re looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.