Within twenty-four hours of publishing the two Dating Disaster “Date Rape” posts I took a phone call from a very scared family member whose loved one had just been served papers accusing him of rape.

This is not an isolated concern.

The possibility of date rape or an accusation of date rape is a real threat, for the safety of women, and for men. Let’s review:

Her Story
His Story

How To Protect Yourself If You’re A Woman 1

It’s the day after Valentines Day.

Some people had a great Valentines Day, others did not. 

Just as some people have great relationships, some not.

“I can’t believe it,” she said, “my best friend told me that she heard that my sister has been sleeping with my boyfriend. When she got home I asked my sister about the rumor. She didn’t deny it, ‘He’s was gonna break up with you anyway.’”

Wow!

No one needs a “holiday” to show love, but it’s a day like Valentines Day that can catalyze kindness.

1. Say “Thank you.”

Most people don’t take the time to express appreciation for their loved ones. This Valentines Day – before dinner, at the lunch table, in the break room, on the phone, through a text – take a moment to say something specific that you appreciate about that person.

2. Give a handwritten a note.

Text. Twitter. IM. Voxer. Cell phones. Apps. Every communication seems to be instant and electronic. This Valentines Day try something new – actually old – write a handwritten note!

You know what I’m talking about here, but let’s go there.

He’s a friendly guy, but when he’s dating someone he seems extra friendly.

The truth is he’s feeling safe and self-confident because his current relationship is boosting his self-esteem, but he doesn’t know that, he just feels like “every girl likes him.”

And, you’re one of them.

It starts with a smile. Another.
A longer look.

He gets your number.
You had his # for a while, but never texted him: Off Limits

He texted: Hey! (Guys can be so bold, hah!)
You reply.
Back and forth, just the news, and then:

It’s Valentines Day week and I have news for you: If you’re single and not dating there is nothing, nothing, nothing wrong with you!

Stop feeling defective.
Stop feeling incomplete.
Stop feeling not-good-enough.

You were created, born, and are now and always, lovable, capable and worthwhile.

This week I want to bless you and remind of of those realities.

I also want to give you – dating or not – some FREE fun ideas to share with a friend or friends.

Active Choices

I always look for heroes to admire.

Helen Keller, and those who cared for Helen, especially Anne Sullivan are people worthy of admiration.

Helen Keller was not born blind and deaf; it was not until she was 19 months old that she contracted an illness which left her deaf and blind.

I read this quote from Helen Keller and felt inspired.

I want to say to those who are trying to learn to speak and those who are teaching them: Be of good cheer.

Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow.

My friend and co-worker at TreeHouse LeAndra Williams has a great spin on friendship. So, LeAndra, take it away!

“After many years and different friendships I have come to a place in my life to recognize helpful and hurtful friends. I have had the privilege to experience both.”

Lee, what have you learned?

“The first step to recognize if you have helpful or hurtful friend is to see which category your friend fits in. Friends are usually in one of these categories. A friend is either an Adder, a Subtracter, a Multiplier, or a Divider.”

Let me explain:

I’m reading Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.  It’s been a hard book to read; lots of pain.

“If you hear in my voice — I don’t know that it is so, but I hope it is — if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was sweet music in your ears, weep for it, weep for it!

If you touch, in touching my hair, anything that recalls a beloved head that lay on your breast when you were young and free, weep for it, weep for it!

Unconditional love, unfailing love (as the Bible calls it) or “love without strings” as we call it at TreeHouse is a rare & precious commodity.

A commodity that you and I can increase.

To paraphrase Leo Buscaglia, “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be herself or himself
– to laugh with me, but never at me;
– to cry with me, but never because of me;
– to love life,
– to love yourself,
– to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” 1

During our visit with Eric and Jill Lacher we marveled at their love.

Though they have similar hearts and values, they began their relationships with very different strategies for living out those values.

During our visit they shared with us that the wisdom of Emerson Eggerichs has helped them to grow deeper in love and express it more effectively to one another. On their behalf and to our benefit here’s some of what they learned.

How Does a Husband Spell Love to His Wife?