Yesterday as Josh Groban walked toward me I smiled and thought to myself, I wonder if he’ll pause look around the room and ask, “Whose writing all those mysilentscream posts about my songs?”

If you missed those posts, here they are:
Hidden Away
Our Hiding
Secrets & Hiding
Secrets: As If.

Josh Groban and TreeHouse
False Alarms by Josh Groban
Brave by Josh Groban
War At Home by Josh Groban
If I Walk Away by Josh Groban

Human Trafficking and The Prayer by Josh Groban
Believe by Josh Groban
You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban
You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) by Josh Groban

Reader JenniferMacLeod[~= @JenMacAtlGA82 recommended that Josh Groban’s “You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)” be included in this series.

I had forgotten about the song, and when I watched the video I fought back tears.

Watch You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) here. (Lyrics below)

I cannot begin to tell you how accurately this song describes what I have experienced at TreeHouse since 1989.
– Teens lost, lonely, and screaming-longingly to feel heard.
– Parents seeking, searching, and silently-longing to be encouraged.
– Friends hoping, hurting, and helping their friends limp along.
– Youth ministers, teachers, counselors, politicians and police officers looking for solutions.
Every week I see the looks on people’s faces when they feel heard and find hope.

Monday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion, followed by Silently Express Your Compassion.

I would argue that undermost circumstances when we express compassion we are better to be silent that to talk too much.

It’s important to listen patiently without an agenda.
And, to listen compassionately without judgment.

We all need to listen patiently, graciously and sensitively; seeking neither to give advice nor to fix people.

Sometimes we do need to speak up. It’s a challenge to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

Yesterday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion borne out of pain.

Let me back up a step. For more than twenty years I have struggled to provide caring support for those in need.

You see, I’m a head-guy, more than a heart-guy.

As a cerebral-thinker it’s been a challenge to fit the deep emotional pain of people in pain within my worldview. It’s hard sometimes. Naturally I want to:
– Assess
– Fix
– Mind-map
– Problem-solve
– Trace things back to their origin

I want to manage, measure, navigate, unravel and diagnose.

People pass away every day.

Parents are in pain every day.

Teens deal with backstabbing and drama every day.

What can you do to help?
What’s been most effective?

Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen patiently without an agenda.
Listen compassionately without judgment.

My Two Requests

My good friend Nick is flying tomorrow to support a loved one whose son was killed by a drunk driver.

If you’re a praying person – especially if you’re a parent – please pray for the young man’s grieving family and friends.

I’m reading Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.  It’s been a hard book to read; lots of pain.

“If you hear in my voice — I don’t know that it is so, but I hope it is — if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was sweet music in your ears, weep for it, weep for it!

If you touch, in touching my hair, anything that recalls a beloved head that lay on your breast when you were young and free, weep for it, weep for it!

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
~ Epictetus

I’m leaving for a funeral in an hour.  One truth is running through my head:

Life is short.  Use it wisely.

Q – How is life wasted?

A – Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

Resist the temptation to worry.

Fight down the lie that worry can help.

Don’t worry alone.  Pray for help, and find others to join your journey.

This week we’re examining painful dating.  Tuesday’s For Crying Out Loud included  grief, loss, and the healing benefits of tears.  Wednesday included helpful hints for dealing with being dumped.

Blunders

“Last night — at a party — a guy I’ve had a huge crush on told my best friend that he liked me too. This morning I sent him a text message telling him how excited I was. Before he replied I caught up to my best friend. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I dreamed it all, EXCEPT for the embarrassing text I really sent my crush.“

Crying, and crying out loud in our pain, makes sense when we get dumped.

Last night we watched an episode of the television show Big Bang Theory. Leonard professed his love to his girlfriend Penny. Taken off guard, the slow to trust, Penny didn’t reciprocate. One thing led to another and Leonard got dumped.

Later lonely-Leonard hung out with his friend Raj. Raj, like Leonard, was feeling lonely for love. Here was their exchange:

Leonard: Don’t worry. You’ll meet a girl someday.

Raj: No, I won’t.

Yesterday my co-worker Ash and I spoke at Champlin Park High School. (If you’re from CPHS, thanks for joining us again today on mysilentscream!)

As we talked about self-esteem I told a story of a particularly painful dating heartbreak.

After the breakup, all night long that night I played Meat Loaf’s album Bat Out Of Hell. In particular, I played “For Crying Out Loud“ over, and over, and over again.

And crying I did. At the time I couldn’t help myself. What I didn’t know at the time is how beneficial crying can be.