Okay, how cool is that.  I was just thinking about my friend Jonnie & I was about to write about my friend Erica.

They walked into the coffee shop I’m in, together!

Let me explain.

Jonnie and his brother Nate are in the Navy.  Jonnie will soon join Nate in Hawaii.  Nate will be stationed there until he is re-assigned to Guam.

I was thinking about Jonnie because next Spring I will see his smiling face IN Hawaii.

What?

Yeah, I know, right?!?!

We no longer use credit cards, so a “plastic vacation” is not an option.

This picture creates many mixed feelings for me; the most evident feeling is loneliness.

The picture reminds me of who I might have become if I never learned to be a friend.

My best friends growing up were our dogs.  My dog was a friendly, patient, German Shepherd named Shawn.

Shawn was the best friend I had, but I needed people-friends too.

Alone

Sitting in my basement bedroom was my high school haven.  Posters on the wall, a dog on my bed, clothes on the floor and music in my head.  It was my room.  All mine.

I love this picture.

I see friendship, camaraderie, community, peace and hope.

On our best days TreeHouse feels like that.

Every time I meet someone I know they have legitimate needs and wants, hopes and dreams.

One of our hopes and dreams includes are desire for genuine community.

Community Vs. “Community Compromisers”

We want to know others and to be known by others.  Known for who we are are, not for who we pretend to be.  There are practices that compromise our safety in a community.

Tuesdays I volunteer at a local junior high.  One of my responsibilities is to help teens have a safe, rule-abiding and fun lunch.  I’m perfect for the job.

While it’s uncomfortable, even scary at times, I’m willing to express myself.

Expressing Myself

I love to help people feel safe, so yesterday I steered a big kid away from a smaller but more annoying teen.  I helped the big kid avoid a consequence for squashing the smaller kid, and I helped the smaller kid avoid a beating.   They both safely eat their lunch. Everyone wins.

I love hugs.

There is something special about a caring embrace that even an onlooker appreciates.

Hugs have been part of the American culture for longer than I have been alive [insert your joke here about my age].

While hugs have been around a long time, it is my undocumented opinion that hugs are more popular that when I was a teen.

I might have been too lonely, self-centered or busy to notice hugs as I walked through Lincoln School [my junior high] or East Leyden High School, but I seldom saw people hug one another in school.

True intimacy provides significance and security.

Significance is “a purpose for living which will give me a real and lasting impact on my world and a purpose which I am completely adequate to accomplish.”

Security comes from unconditional love, at TreeHouse we call it “love without strings.”.  “People need that kind of love.  We need, really need, to be loved as we are, loved at our worst.  We need to regard ourselves as worthwhile.  In order to do so, we must not only be significant but also be secure in the unconditional love of another person.”

“Love never fails.” These words are two thousand years old and yet they are as important today as they were then.

What is love?  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails…“  [1 Corinthians 13:4-8]

Tonight I mentioned that I would like to live and to die with self-respect.  I have made many mistakes, but I do not settle for “that’s the way I am.”  Our world is filled with low expectation.  It’s too easy to have low standards.

I intentionally live the way I wish that other people did.  Rather than complain and judge others for not being this or that I strive to fess up when I screw up, or blame no one for my choices. I am accountable and want to help others by my example first, my words second.

I was driving home Thursday night after midnight.

As my headlights illuminated the shoulder I noticed a guy walking down the street carrying a gas can.

I pulled over and waited for him.
I offered him a ride to the gas station, he accepted.
I introduced myself. His name is Dave.
I told him I’d return to drive him to his car after I finished what I had to do.

I returned for him a couple of minutes later.

Dave walked for a ways, so on the return journey we had time to talk about our jobs.

It’s the 13th, February 13th, today.

Yesterday I wrote about my lack of natural romantic notions.  I have not figured out how to discern what gift Amy wants at special occasions, when to push her and when to wait for her to ask for my advice, but I have been able to add.  Since we started going out we have counted months just like teenagers do.  Today is our 306th month anniversary!

For some readers that may not be a hope, dream or a goal. I understand, it was never a goal of mine either. My goal was that our love, our relationship, would never end.