Bad foundations in relationships lead to relationship-rot.

A bad start to a relationship does not have to be a deal-breaker, but it usually is.

Why does it happen that way?

Because broken people break people, and hurting people hurt people.

– When people assume others will abandon them, they choose not to invest.
– When people assume others are suspicious, they choose not to trust.
– When people assume others will take rather than give, they selfishly protect.
– When people assume others are means to an end: “Greed meets a need.”

That sounds so fatalistic, but it’s not.

Often times when people contact me about their relationship problems it’s because their relationships were built on unstable foundations.

Let me explain, relationships, like buildings, need a firm and solid foundation including:
– Honesty
– Respect
– Kindness
– Thoughtfulness

Unfortunately, many relationships begin just the opposite:
– Dishonesty
– Suspicion
– Selfishness
– Greed

Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Consider these four examples:

Example 1 – Because of deep-seated fears rooted after the loss of her mother at a young add she guards herself with dishonesty.

For some people the number 13 is synonymous with bad luck and

13 makes them pause, hesitate, and even back away.

It’s considered unlucky to have:
– 13 guests at a dinner party
– a 13th floor in a building 
– a wedding on the 13th of the month
– or to buy a house on the 13th of the month

Dating difficulties drag us down.  Whether it’s crying our way through a painful breakup, dealing with being dumped, or coping with the obvious sense  that we’ve blundered, blown it and need to move on, they all drag us down.

Dragged Down

Maybe you don’t have dating drama.  Maybe you’re jealous of the cute girl in the next cubicle, the muscular guy in the seat next to you, or the smart girl who always has the right answer.

Maybe you’re an unemployed NFL referee whose mistakes were played over and over on national TV. 

I’m wrestling with myself, because…

I hate when I mess up.
I hate when I let down my guard.
I hate when I lower my standards.
I hate when I try to wiggle out.
I hate when I rationalize my choices.
I hate when I justify my behavior.
I hate when I make excuses.
I hate when I settle.
I hate when I plot stupid stuff.
I hate when I hide my failures.