Is grace happening to you?
Is grace happening in you?
Is grace happening through you?

I’ve been stuck emotionally and spiritually more than I’d like to admit. Raise your hand if you can relate? Okay, we’re all “not alone.” But, let’s not stay stuck!

Looking to take a step forward in your life?

Want your actions to more closely match your intentions?

Me too!

Each of the themes below links to a previous mysilentscream post that has been helpful to readers looking to make a change. 1

Love – Tired of empty expressions of “love”?

God transforms. God heals. God restores. God does so in my life and can do so in yours.

Max Lucado wrote, let grace, let God, “so seep into the crusty cracks of your life that everything softens. Then let it, let him, bubble to the surface, like a spring in the Sahara, in words of kindness and deeds of generosity.”

God will change you, my friend.

“Jesus’ death is the means to new life for others…suffering is an avenue for God’s life to transform situations.” 1

I meet many people in my work. The vast majority of the people I meet are generally normal people. Children are children. Teens are teens. Adults are adults.

I live in a community in which the high school is populated by about seventy-percent “people of color.” Generally speaking I like people different than me.

Across from me is the other kind of person.
I have really tried to like that person, but woah!

Background

I’ve known her family for about twenty years. I’ve been in their house. I’ve pet their dog, talked to their cat, spent time with her parents, and gotten to know her siblings. I have tried to like her, but woah.

What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?

Your parent may be right.
Your parent may be wrong.
Your teen may be realistic.
Your teen may be deluded.

One principle helps me make sense of other people — even very smart people — who make stupid choices.

The principle: Most people do what they believe makes sense.

This weekend teens  will:
– Lie to their parents about where they are going
– Lie to their parents about what they will be doing
– Lie to their parents about where they will spend the night
– Lie to their parents about who they will be with

Recently my friends and I played volleyball. It was a fun and competitive series of games.

Later that month I gathered many of the same late-night friends for another series of games. Even though it was after midnight I had the same expectations as the previous evening: I was looking forward to the same fun, competitive games.

We lost the first closely contested game. We dominated the second game as their team laughed and clowned around as they played sometimes sloppily. I prefer to win, but I actually felt sorry for one of their teammates who was evidently annoyed.

I’m turning 50 this week. 

I’m not yet fifty — it’s just two days away — but I thought I’d lead you through my journey, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two that will help you on your journey.

Hurts < = > Heartache < = > Hope.
Fights < = > Frustrations < = > Faith.

Love Wins!

While all of the above are part of relationships, which way the flow flows is dependent on love.

Will love overcome the hurt?
Will love overcome the fights?

This week we’re examining painful dating.  Tuesday’s For Crying Out Loud included  grief, loss, and the healing benefits of tears.  Wednesday included helpful hints for dealing with being dumped.

Blunders

“Last night — at a party — a guy I’ve had a huge crush on told my best friend that he liked me too. This morning I sent him a text message telling him how excited I was. Before he replied I caught up to my best friend. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I dreamed it all, EXCEPT for the embarrassing text I really sent my crush.“

Crying, and crying out loud in our pain, makes sense when we get dumped.

Last night we watched an episode of the television show Big Bang Theory. Leonard professed his love to his girlfriend Penny. Taken off guard, the slow to trust, Penny didn’t reciprocate. One thing led to another and Leonard got dumped.

Later lonely-Leonard hung out with his friend Raj. Raj, like Leonard, was feeling lonely for love. Here was their exchange:

Leonard: Don’t worry. You’ll meet a girl someday.

Raj: No, I won’t.

Yesterday in Pumpkin-Seed & Peeps I mentioned that embattled people can still be gracious.

It’s true.

We can choose to respect people we don’t like.
– We can choose to tolerate your differences.
– We can choose to talk things out rather than stuff your annoyances.

We can choose to bring happiness.
– If we hug people, let’s offer everyone hugs.
– We can all choose to forget the drama.
– We can all choose to forgive the guilty.

That final point, “choose to forgive the guilty” is a sticking point for many.

CUTTING – AFTER A BREAKUP

THE QUESTION: Our son’s girlfriend broke up with him about a year ago. He doesn’t show any signs moving on with his life. He cuts on his arm. It looks so awful. He doesn’t date. What can I do with him?

OUR REPLY: “The breakup of a relationship is almost always very painful to at least one partner, and you did the right thing by looking for help. God does care very deeply about your son, and God doesn’t want him to spend the rest of his life believing something about himself that isn’t true. He has a right to grieve. He will get through this painful time. Remind him that you care and that he does not have to go through his grief alone.”