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Aug 16

Warning: Anger Can Become Toxic

Posted on Thursday, August 16, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, and continued it yesterday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.

One gracious reader read and replied, “I was raped by a guy when I was 22 I would judge him and say he needs help…because he did. (He victimized) 5 other women…but he is and was aware of what he was doing so I wouldn’t feel sympathy.”

As someone who has never experienced a rape I cannot begin to grasp the depth of how that would affect a victim, all I can say is “Wow, thank you you for your humble willingness to add your perspective to our dialogue.”

Aug 15

Beware: Never Judge Others By Your Limited Perspective

Posted on Wednesday, August 15, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Monday I began this dialogue with Olympics: Judge & Jury, continuing Tuesday with “Caution – We don’t know the whole story.”

We have one perspective.

There may be another.

The Stories

The “dropout” whose pot-smoking parents never challenge him.
The “skeeze” whose dad did more hopping than Frogger.
The “gamer” whose parents never expected anything from him.
The “slut” whose dad, step-dad, 2nd step-dad, and mom’s before all left.

Another Side Of The Stories

Aug 14

Caution – We don’t know the whole story.

Posted on Tuesday, August 14, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Yesterday in Olympics: Judge & Jury I introduced some of the challenges we face when we assess — when we judge — the lives of other people.

I met the girl everyone thought was a “b****.” She hasn’t been spoiled all her life, just since her dad abandoned her and her mom died.  

I met the “lazy guy” who never did any housework because he wasn’t taught to do so.  His hard-working mom was too tired to clean house and too tired to parent.

Aug 13

Olympics: Judge & Jury

Posted on Monday, August 13, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Caution – Course language used in this post may offend you.

Millions, perhaps a billion people, spent time in the last two weeks watching the Olympics.

While the athletes are judged in their individual events, real life is not like the Olympics. We do not have a right to judge and award people based on competitions of our choosing.

While we do not have the right to arbitrarily create events in which we serve as judge, many people do.

Have you seen, or judged these events?
– Who’s the biggest “b****”?
– What’s up with their yard/house/car?
– Who’s gonna do something about him?
– Who’s kid is that?

Jun 28

Beyond Whatever Preview #4

Posted on Thursday, June 28, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos

We Don’t Know All We’d Like To Know

Sometimes we don’t know everything we think we know. My son Josh saves money better than I do, but when he was young he didn’t know all that he knows now.

One day, when Josh was about six years old he and I drove to the gas station. Before we paid for our gas we surveyed the candy aisle. We each picked out some candy. I grabbed an Almond Joy and Josh grabbed a special candy sucker that spun.

Satisfied with our choices we walked into the line at the register.

Jun 24

Our Favorite Sins by Todd Hunter

Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2012 in Reviews

Todd Hunter’s Our Favorite Sins: The Sins We Commit & How You Can Quit

Diving into Hunter’s book gives us freedom to acknowledge our struggles

“Beating temptation requires struggle because it always involves sorting out rightly ordered desires for good and godly things from our disordered desires for wrong things. We often experience these disordered desires as our most powerful and deeply rooted desires. Uprooting disordered desires involves personal, psychological, and spiritual suffering.”

struggles that don’t come easy and temptations that don’t fall willingly

Jun 4

GOD LOVES BROKEN PEOPLE (And Those Who Pretend They’re Not) by Sheila Walsh

Posted on Monday, June 4, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Reviews, Social, Spiritual, Values

Author Sheila Walsh believes that we should know that God “calls broken people not only to place their faith in Him, despite the darkness, but also to dare to reach beyond themselves and, through faith, bring the healing, loving touch of Christ to other hurting men and women.”

She writes for those of us who “have struggled with admitting to myself and others I’m broken.” And those of us who add, “I know I’m broken, but have struggled with how to deal with it.”

Feb 29

Quiet Rest

Posted on Wednesday, February 29, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos, Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

In the quiet can learn that we are lovable and that we can be and need to be loved.  When we rest in God’s love — truly allow God into our being — we can acknowledge our imperfections, we can feel our wounds, we can see our scars and admit our sins. When we rest we can be quiet. In the quiet is God waiting for us.

Be still, and know that I am God! Our God says, “Calm down, and learn that I am God!” 1

Today, this is my quiet whisper.

1 – Psalm 46:10, NLT, CEV

Feb 28

People In Process

Posted on Tuesday, February 28, 2012 in Beyond Whatever Promos, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

You and I can learn to become more loving. We can teach one another to be more loving. Only through humbly admitting our unloving side can we really find help, healing and wholeness.

That’s what the fear of God does, it allows our brokenness to draw us closer to God in dependence and interdependently closer to other people.

This is a treasure worth more than gold.

This is mysilentscream!

Oct 13

Today is My Wife Amy’s Birthday!

Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2011 in Relational

9493 days ago I met this really cute blond girl in the lobby of her college dorm. A couple months later I was thrilled she agreed to go out with me.  You can read more about our relationship here.

As Amy and I started dating it became clear that she set a benchmark of kindness, humility and thoughtfulness that far exceeded my own.

Amy does not pursue unsolicited attention for her actions, but I watched and wondered, “Could I ever be like her?”