Overcoming the fear of being exposed is one of the keys to breaking the bondage of the tricks and lies about cutting.

The Fear Of Exposure Perverts Our Thinking

“Psychologist Larry Crabb says that the primary motivation for all of our social behavior is a fear that if others really knew us as we are, they would reject us in disgust. This fear of exposure is rooted in our sense of the ugliness of our fallen natures as they have been perverted and corrupted by sin. Satan delights in inflaming this fear…”

Tonight I mentioned that I would like to live and to die with self-respect.  I have made many mistakes, but I do not settle for “that’s the way I am.”  Our world is filled with low expectation.  It’s too easy to have low standards.

I intentionally live the way I wish that other people did.  Rather than complain and judge others for not being this or that I strive to fess up when I screw up, or blame no one for my choices. I am accountable and want to help others by my example first, my words second.

Do not try to change the other person the change starts with us.

When Amy and I were going through our pre-marital counseling our pastor, Ralph Gustafson, counseled us, had us take a couple of tests and had us read some insightful books.

Each of those pieces helped us prepare for marriage, but not one of them helped me to prepare for myself in marriage.

I was as in love with Amy as I knew how to be. I made vows and intended to keep them. I promised devotion, loyalty and faithfulness. All of that made so much sense. I just had no idea how hard it would be.

Each week at TreeHouse we remind the teens about three needs which are common among people:
- We all need to be reminded that we’re lovable, capable & worthwhile.
- We need to know that we’re loved unconditionally — “without strings.”
- We need to know that we’re not alone.

Far too often we feel alone; alone in our struggles, alone in our pain, alone with our sorrow, alone without hope.

We Do Not Have To Feel Alone

Back in January my friend Tim Geoffrion wrote an insightful post entitled “When Loving Gets Tough.”

“When conflicts arise or we have been hurt, or when others really irritate or offend us, it can be really tough to love them…For any number of reasons, our intention or attempts to love others can fall short.”

We want to love.  We want to act lovingly.  It’s our plan.  We think loving thoughts.  We would tell other friends or family members that we love ___, but when the conflicts arise it does not look very loving.

Honesty is a culturally threatening virtue. So threatening that few people make it a constant choice. It’s counter-cultural to choose to be honest.

Cultural Corruption

People joked about cheating on their taxes – “it’s okay unless you get caught.” People make “little white lies.” They cover up the truth “to protect the other person.”

“Everyone lies” and “everyone lies some of the time” are routinely used to justify the choice to be dishonest. That’s if the choice to be dishonest is ever challenged.

“You love evil more than good and lies more than truth”, says the songwriter.

TreeHouse alumni often tell me that they wish that they had relationships as adults like the ones that they had at TreeHouse.

Healthy relationships are hard work and many adults either don’t know how or don’t take the time to build truly lasting and meaningful friendships.

What’s it take to be a good friend?

Honesty, trust, respect, fun, unselfishness, humor, patience, commitment, integrity, and kindness form the foundation upon which healthy friendships stands strong.

Yes, friendships are hard work, but friendships are one of the few things in life that may last a lifetime.

How to…

How to save a cell phone dropped into slush.

You’re rushing along. You reach your car. In goes your hand, you grab your keys. You pull your hand out and woah! What was that?!?

Splat! Suck! You look down, mortified. Your cell phone lays half-submerged in dirty slush.

No!, you silently scream!

What should you do?

1. Pick it up! Immediately.

If you are reading this right now and haven’t yet removed it from the slush, forget the rest of the steps and start budgeting for your new phone.