Bad foundations in relationships lead to relationship-rot.

A bad start to a relationship does not have to be a deal-breaker, but it usually is.

Why does it happen that way?

Because broken people break people, and hurting people hurt people.

– When people assume others will abandon them, they choose not to invest.
– When people assume others are suspicious, they choose not to trust.
– When people assume others will take rather than give, they selfishly protect.
– When people assume others are means to an end: “Greed meets a need.”

That sounds so fatalistic, but it’s not.

Often times when people contact me about their relationship problems it’s because their relationships were built on unstable foundations.

Let me explain, relationships, like buildings, need a firm and solid foundation including:
– Honesty
– Respect
– Kindness
– Thoughtfulness

Unfortunately, many relationships begin just the opposite:
– Dishonesty
– Suspicion
– Selfishness
– Greed

Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Consider these four examples:

Example 1 – Because of deep-seated fears rooted after the loss of her mother at a young add she guards herself with dishonesty.

Last Friday began a series that will run all week called Dating Drama.  Whether you’re dating or not, you know someone who is.  This might be a chance for you to contribute, comment and encourage those who are.

Some people have great relationships, some not.

Friday night my boyfriend texted me. He dumped me; by TEXT!

When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, “What are you talking about? I didn’t break up with you.” Apparently, he had meant the text for someone else. He was breaking up with another girlfriend (that I didn’t know about).

I’m turning 50 this week. 

I’m not yet fifty — it’s just two days away — but I thought I’d lead you through my journey, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two that will help you on your journey.

Hurts < = > Heartache < = > Hope.
Fights < = > Frustrations < = > Faith.

Love Wins!

While all of the above are part of relationships, which way the flow flows is dependent on love.

Will love overcome the hurt?
Will love overcome the fights?

Pain and wounds drive us to want relief.  Like many people in constant pain the songwriter cries out, “Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony…Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love, which you have shown from long ages past.” 1

Why would anyone think that God could be talked to that way?  Because God has been willing to take the blame.  God hasn’t ducked responsibility for letting bad things happen, and God exposes God’s big heart.  “Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love…The Lord is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation.” 2