Reminder – Yesterday, I offered some tips about “happy friendships” you can find them here.

I’ve spent most of my adult life studying women — insert your joke here.  I’ve read books about femininity, anatomy and physiology, female health, historical Western women values, feminism, menstruation, and mood swings.  In fact, I’m reading a book right now by a woman for teen girls about teen guys. I’m reading it to understand how women view men.

In doing so, I have gained an incredible and valuable understanding that, frankly, many men don’t have.  

Hints For a Happy Friendship 1

Make friends even if you don’t think you need them.
Seek out quiet people. They have a lot to say, if you say something first.
Don’t establish a friendship based on mutual dislikes.
Call if you’re running late.
Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
Be one who says positive things about others.
Learn to tell a good story.
Ask other people about themselves.
Be happy for others in their good fortune.
Make sure your caring includes doing.
Know when to say good-bye.

My parents have always been wise about money.

My parents tried to pass their wisdom and insights onto me.

Unfortunately, I didn’t listen.

I’ve learned my lesson.  Amy and I cut up our credit cards.  We’ve been following Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps and budget tips.

Even though not using credit meant we had less credit available, we only buy what we can afford.

You can read more about our debt-free journey here entitled, Got Money Stress?

Yesterday I wrote about the importance I am placing on embracing reality. Breaking through my natural inclination to avoid pain is hard work. I am a self-centered person, a work in process, and embracing reality is frankly painful.

Challenging Complacency

Complacency ignores reality.

Complacency minimizes others’ horrors.

Complacency marginalizes with “isms” like racism, sexism and age-ism.

If I believe that ignorance is bliss, and I don’t have to worry about what I don’t know about or see, I’m wrong.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AMY !

Want 24 years of “Happily Ever After” too?

Make promises you’ll keep.

Keep your promises.

I need God’s help to do both.

Dan Heisman one of my favorite authors wrote, “The #1 chess guideline [is] keep all your pieces safe! (And consider taking opponent’s pieces that are not safe). You must make all your decisions before you touch a piece…”

Choose wisely.

BUT What If You Feel Like A Pawn Someone Else Controls?

You were hoping for happiness, but you’re feeling like you don’t know what moves to make.

You were hoping to deal with change in your life, but you’ve been dealt a bad hand.

Tired of the tensions, frustrations, whining, mumbling and fighting?!?

Choose to listen and then choose a win-win solution.

When we choose to view our loved one’s problem as our own, we’re much more likely to get serious about working together to work it out. The possibility of achieving a “win-win” rather than an “I win, you lose” scenario is much more likely.

As Gary Smalley explained:

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people’s needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

Sadly, I have gotten this wrong more times than I would like to admit.

I cannot begin to guess how many people have trusted me with their relationships.  They’ve shared their triumphs and their troubles.  As I’ve  listened I’ve learned.  Some lessons I’ve learned better than others.

Excursus – Ahem, I’M SORRY Amy, you’ve deserved better!

This week while listening to the insights and wisdom of our TreeHouse teens as they discussed — or should I say “disgust!” — the subject of LOVE I felt both sad and hopeful.

What if they knew what I’ve learned from so many others?

What if they applied principles, practices and standards to their relationships that help others love one another?

Happiness is a state of mind.

You & I can choose to be happy regardless of our circumstances.

Happiness is a choice.

The choice is yours.

Thanksgiving weekend is a time when millions spend lots of time and money shopping.
Best Buy & Kohl’s, Target & Home Depot, the stores and malls will be filled.
I must admit I’m a little jealous.

Instead of spending money we gave money
We avoided the Black Friday shopping spree.
Instead we expressed our “thanks” by giving away our undesignated charity fund.

Less stress. More peace.
Less crowds. More fun.
Less stuff. More freedom.

Last year I wrote in a post entitled “Got Money Stress?” that budgeting discipline learned through Dave Ramsey principles had improved our financial situation despite the economy.