I had some shame stirring as I woke up: rude to my wife, messy with my stuff, snoring, gingivitis, etc. God knows I can digress if I sit in my junk for long.

When I do, I felt like a wreck. I know some of you have felt the same way:

I’m not even strong enough for myself
I’m falling to pieces
Honestly don’t care about anything anymore
Can’t go on living like this
I need someone to listen. No one can help me.

Fortunately, God is listening.

On the way to work in the back of my mind was playing:

I’m reading Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.  It’s been a hard book to read; lots of pain.

“If you hear in my voice — I don’t know that it is so, but I hope it is — if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was sweet music in your ears, weep for it, weep for it!

If you touch, in touching my hair, anything that recalls a beloved head that lay on your breast when you were young and free, weep for it, weep for it!

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
~ Epictetus

I’m leaving for a funeral in an hour.  One truth is running through my head:

Life is short.  Use it wisely.

Q – How is life wasted?

A – Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

Resist the temptation to worry.

Fight down the lie that worry can help.

Don’t worry alone.  Pray for help, and find others to join your journey.

This week we’re examining painful dating.  Tuesday’s For Crying Out Loud included  grief, loss, and the healing benefits of tears.  Wednesday included helpful hints for dealing with being dumped.

Blunders

“Last night — at a party — a guy I’ve had a huge crush on told my best friend that he liked me too. This morning I sent him a text message telling him how excited I was. Before he replied I caught up to my best friend. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I dreamed it all, EXCEPT for the embarrassing text I really sent my crush.“

Crying, and crying out loud in our pain, makes sense when we get dumped.

Last night we watched an episode of the television show Big Bang Theory. Leonard professed his love to his girlfriend Penny. Taken off guard, the slow to trust, Penny didn’t reciprocate. One thing led to another and Leonard got dumped.

Later lonely-Leonard hung out with his friend Raj. Raj, like Leonard, was feeling lonely for love. Here was their exchange:

Leonard: Don’t worry. You’ll meet a girl someday.

Raj: No, I won’t.

Yesterday my co-worker Ash and I spoke at Champlin Park High School. (If you’re from CPHS, thanks for joining us again today on mysilentscream!)

As we talked about self-esteem I told a story of a particularly painful dating heartbreak.

After the breakup, all night long that night I played Meat Loaf’s album Bat Out Of Hell. In particular, I played “For Crying Out Loud“ over, and over, and over again.

And crying I did. At the time I couldn’t help myself. What I didn’t know at the time is how beneficial crying can be.

“Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love“, the singer sang.  1

Watching the movie Lion King this week reminded me of that kind of unfailing love.

Simba lost his father King Mufasa through the treachery of his uncle.  As time passes the young adult, but rebellious king-to-be is avoiding responsibility accompanied by his friends Timon and Pumbaa.

Rafiki, the monkey-mentor, led Simba through the wilderness to a pool of water. Ripples form across the surface of the water, reflecting Mufasa’s face. Simba has a vision of his father speaking to him. 2

Remember me?

Like many men of the time, Elkanah had two wives. Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not. Hannah wanted to have children. 

One day Hannah and her husband were traveling to while the other wife stayed at home with the kids. On their journey to Shiloh her husband asked, “Hannah, why are you so sad?”

Heartbroken, Hannah replied, “Give me children.”

Elkanah loved Hannah.  Her words hurt.  Frustrated he said, “Am I God that I could give you children?” And he added, “Aren’t I better to you than many sons? Aren’t you satisfied with me?”

Because the trajectory of our lives is affected by our relationship with our fathers it must be examined. When our relationship with our dad has left wounds and scars, our “father hunger” needs attention.

Try to be honest, do you feel a sense of loss when you think of your relationship with your father? If so, how do you cope with that loss?

Grief, Loss & Father Hunger

Susan Berger is a researcher studying the grief and loss of others:
– She interviewed hundreds of people
– She studied how they have been able to move on after the death of a loved one.

I’m forty-nine years old. I don’t feel old, but I don’t feel young either.

I spend my life encouraging others to live their life well.  Mysilentscream.com exists — through stories, some tips, and some Scriptures — to inspire you to live well. 

As I’m nearing fifty I’m looking for “older” people to inspire me to live the rest of my life well too.  Billy Graham’s book Nearing Home: Life, Faith, and Finishing Well seemed like a good fit.

Billy Graham’s book is honest, vulnerable, and inspiring.