Bad foundations in relationships lead to relationship-rot.

A bad start to a relationship does not have to be a deal-breaker, but it usually is.

Why does it happen that way?

Because broken people break people, and hurting people hurt people.

– When people assume others will abandon them, they choose not to invest.
– When people assume others are suspicious, they choose not to trust.
– When people assume others will take rather than give, they selfishly protect.
– When people assume others are means to an end: “Greed meets a need.”

That sounds so fatalistic, but it’s not.

Often times when people contact me about their relationship problems it’s because their relationships were built on unstable foundations.

Let me explain, relationships, like buildings, need a firm and solid foundation including:
– Honesty
– Respect
– Kindness
– Thoughtfulness

Unfortunately, many relationships begin just the opposite:
– Dishonesty
– Suspicion
– Selfishness
– Greed

Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Consider these four examples:

Example 1 – Because of deep-seated fears rooted after the loss of her mother at a young add she guards herself with dishonesty.

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1. Don’t Hold Grudges
2. Take Care Of Your Health.
3. Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking
4. Greed Gains Momentum
5. Gratitude Leads To Contentment

Contentment Leads To Generosity

Note: This post in NOT intended to brag or boast.

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1. Don’t Hold Grudges
2. Take Care Of Your Health.
3. Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking
4. Greed Gains Momentum

Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, it’s important to be grateful for the amazing gifts we already have.

Loving family
Faithful friends
Good health

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1.  Don’t Hold Grudges 
2.  Take Care Of Your Health.
3.  Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking

Today is the day after Thanksgiving known as Black Friday.  A nationwide marketing “holiday” to trigger sales in anticipation of holiday gift-giving and gatherings.

November is the month in which people gather for All Saints’ Day, Election Day, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving, but combined they don’t capture the attention of Americans more than “Black Sunday.”

I’m Not Opposed To Marketing, I’m Opposed To My Confused Values

Some Christian churches celebrate All Saints’ Day, and some do not. Millions of people voted on Election Day, but most people did not.  Millions recognize Veterans Day and Thanksgiving, but others prefer not to celebrate holidays connected to conflicts. 1

Marketers find many ways to make money on those holidays, but they all pale in comparison to “Black Friday.”

Black Friday and Black Friday week ads are everywhere. 

I’m not immune to greed.

I want an iPod!  I’ve never had one.
I drive a ’96 minivan.  I want a new car.
I want  Batman: Arkham City.  It looks so fun!
I want Dave Matthews Band Eurpoe 2009 CD/DVD collection.  I love that band!
I want a bottle of Angel cologne.  It makes me smell so good.
I want a Wii to play games with Amy!

While we’re inundated with marketing strategies this week, I was determined not to shop for what I don’t need.  In order to cut my greed I decided to cultivate generosity by remembering what I was thankful for this past year.