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Jul 22

Genuine Smiles Heal

Posted on Monday, July 22, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

smile_6When I was a student I loved the sciences. I loved conducting experiments.

One day I decided to intentionally carry a smile on my face. I smiled at everyone I saw. I tried to present a sincerely positive affect.

What did I experience?

As I smiled, genuinely smiled, I noticed others. I found myself caring about the people I saw. My affect began to change for the better.

While some looked at me oddly and others looked away in disinterest or disdain, most people acknowledged me.

Apr 4

Unhealthy Expectations And Choices

Posted on Thursday, April 4, 2013 in Education, Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

aschoolAll us us have to cope with the challenges of peer pressure. When we face peer pressure situations it helps to understand our motives.

Often we don’t let down the internal pressure because we feel that the expectations of others don’t let us — or at least that’s what we think.

We assume “making people happy” is a sign of being a good friend, when it really drives us to a dangerous place and perpetuates unreasonable expectations.

You have choices.
I have choices.

Choices

We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

Mar 13

Your Compassion

Posted on Wednesday, March 13, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

920325_sadness_5Monday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion, followed by Silently Express Your Compassion.

I would argue that undermost circumstances when we express compassion we are better to be silent that to talk too much.

It’s important to listen patiently without an agenda.
And, to listen compassionately without judgment.

We all need to listen patiently, graciously and sensitively; seeking neither to give advice nor to fix people.

Sometimes we do need to speak up. It’s a challenge to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

Mar 12

Silently Express Your Compassion

Posted on Tuesday, March 12, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

1022427_despairlonelynessYesterday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion borne out of pain.

Let me back up a step. For more than twenty years I have struggled to provide caring support for those in need.

You see, I’m a head-guy, more than a heart-guy.

As a cerebral-thinker it’s been a challenge to fit the deep emotional pain of people in pain within my worldview. It’s hard sometimes. Naturally I want to:
– Assess
– Fix
– Mind-map
– Problem-solve
– Trace things back to their origin

I want to manage, measure, navigate, unravel and diagnose.

Mar 11

How To Express Your Compassion

Posted on Monday, March 11, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

920325_sadness_5People pass away every day.

Parents are in pain every day.

Teens deal with backstabbing and drama every day.

What can you do to help?
What’s been most effective?

Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen patiently without an agenda.
Listen compassionately without judgment.

My Two Requests

My good friend Nick is flying tomorrow to support a loved one whose son was killed by a drunk driver.

If you’re a praying person – especially if you’re a parent – please pray for the young man’s grieving family and friends.

Nov 26

Contentment Leads To Generosity

Posted on Monday, November 26, 2012 in Emotional, Financial, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, TreeHouse, Values

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1. Don’t Hold Grudges
2. Take Care Of Your Health.
3. Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking
4. Greed Gains Momentum

5. Gratitude Leads To Contentment

Contentment Leads To Generosity

Note: This post in NOT intended to brag or boast.

Nov 24

Gratitude Leads To Contentment

Posted on Saturday, November 24, 2012 in Emotional, Financial, Intellectual, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1. Don’t Hold Grudges
2. Take Care Of Your Health.
3. Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking
4. Greed Gains Momentum

Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, it’s important to be grateful for the amazing gifts we already have.

Loving family
Faithful friends
Good health

Nov 23

Greed Gains Momentum

Posted on Friday, November 23, 2012 in Emotional, Financial, Intellectual, Social, Spiritual, Values

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom, including:

1.  Don’t Hold Grudges 
2.  Take Care Of Your Health.
3.  Compassion Makes Sense and Giving Is Better Than Taking

Today is the day after Thanksgiving known as Black Friday.  A nationwide marketing “holiday” to trigger sales in anticipation of holiday gift-giving and gatherings.

Nov 13

Fess Up!

Posted on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Spiritual, Values

This weekend at Anika’s baby dedication we shared parenting advice with the new parents Angi & Aaron.

My wife Amy said, “If you screw up, fess up.” 

She elaborated, “when you make mistakes admit them.”

Unfortunately, Amy learned that lesson from my…umm…from me.

You see, I’ve had to fess up a lot.

When I Mismanage My Life I Neglect My Highest Priorities

When I have mismanaged my life it’s my wife and God who get cheated. Sadly, I take for granted those who love me the most. I haven’t rejected my faith in God, I’ve just gotten so busy that I have not included God in my thoughts, feelings and plans as often as I would prefer.

Feb 3

Pro Bowl Friendships Need Accountability

Posted on Friday, February 3, 2012 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Sports, Values

I’ve made many mistakes in my life.
Many of them could easily have been avoided.

Fortunately, not one of my mistakes has ended in the headlines.

Headlines

Dallas Morning News reported today that Major League baseball player, “Rangers’ Josh Hamilton has relapse with alcohol at area bar.”  USA Today, Washington Post, Fox Sports, it’s on the news, it’s filling the headlines.

“Someone went to a bar” is hardly news. “Someone had a few drinks” isn’t either.  Unless that someone is, as Jeff Passan described him, the “most famous addict in sports.”  Then, everyone who knows about you knows that that’s a problem.  Josh Hamilton’s story of self-destruction, sobriety, redemption and success have been well-documented including his autobiographical Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back.