Mortal Kombat, the classic video game introduced ‘Fatalities’.1  A fatality is usually a lethal final move that defeats a foe. Fatalities were often cruel and unusual means of exterminating an opponent.

Sound familiar?

Ever felt like a former best friend finished you off with a fatality? Ever sat in a lunchroom watching with morbid curiosity as people who used to be lovers are now involved in a death match? Ever squared off with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse wondering if this was the end?

My hope is that after reading this you will no longer choose to use your fatality moves.

Yesterday I asked you to think back to your childhood views of marriage.

Do you have the same view of marriage when you were a kid, or has it changed?
Happily ever after is what I hoped for.  Maybe you did too.
Has your view changed?  Mine has.

I watched and learned from my parents. They shared hopes, dreams, hobbies and dramas. When my best friends’ parents divorced, I was so confused.  They seemed to love one another. It’s easy to feel disillusioned when all around you is heartache and heart-break.

Reminder – Yesterday, I offered some tips about “happy friendships” you can find them here.

I’ve spent most of my adult life studying women — insert your joke here.  I’ve read books about femininity, anatomy and physiology, female health, historical Western women values, feminism, menstruation, and mood swings.  In fact, I’m reading a book right now by a woman for teen girls about teen guys. I’m reading it to understand how women view men.

In doing so, I have gained an incredible and valuable understanding that, frankly, many men don’t have.  

Hints For a Happy Friendship 1

Make friends even if you don’t think you need them.
Seek out quiet people. They have a lot to say, if you say something first.
Don’t establish a friendship based on mutual dislikes.
Call if you’re running late.
Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
Be one who says positive things about others.
Learn to tell a good story.
Ask other people about themselves.
Be happy for others in their good fortune.
Make sure your caring includes doing.
Know when to say good-bye.

When I thought about writing about me, and my life, for two weeks I couldn’t imagine what I would write.  As my last post has arrived I feel I’ve run out of time, not run out of things to say.

So I chose three pictures that tell a story about who I am and who I am becoming.

Bad-@ss

The first picture is my favorite picture of just me.  Really, I could not imagine a picture that better captures my love for fun and willingness to take on challenges.

I’m “butt-surfing” a waterfall, Big Smokey to be specific.

Back in town and back online, I’m torn. 

I have to finish my lesson plan for tonight — and send out sixty text invitations — for tonight.

I also want to write about my kids. 

They often lost out because I was trying to help someone else.

Today, they’re coming first.

Shannon and Josh have been bedrock cornerstones of our family. 

Shannon, now twenty one, has spent many years in our family listening, arguing, teasing, negotiating, following, avoiding and ignoring our rules.  Fortunately, she’s generally chosen wisely.  She is admired by almost everyone who knows her for her character and her compassionate charisma. 

I’ve sat here for a while trying to figure out to write.  I know I’m writing “my story”.

“Hello”, says my self-talk, “it’s YOUR *&^* story, how hard can it be to write about yourself?!?”  Well, it’s hard because I’m only giving myself one day to write about my wife Amy as part of “My Story”. 

Tears started…great…crying in Caribou!  [PAUSE button engaged!]

Composed and now at home, let me tell you about my best friend, Amy.

Amy is adorable, beautiful, caring, determined, efficient, forgiving, generous, heart-felt, intentional, just and kind, loving, merciful, nutty, optimistic, patient, quality, resilient, sensitive, tough, understanding, [private], well-intentioned, [private again], youthful, and zany.

I grew up in suburban Chicago with my Mom and Dad, and sister, Kristie.

Looking for Faith

Our family has Lutheran roots, but we were not regular church attendees.

When I was seven years old I was invited by my neighbors to Grace Community Church. 

John Schulmeister was the first person I remember hearing say, “Jesus Christ died for your sins.” That night I asked Jesus to forgive my sins.

I remember it seemed like an obvious decision. I knew that I had sinned. I trusted that Jesus was willing to forgive my sins, and asked him to do so.

Okay, how cool is that.  I was just thinking about my friend Jonnie & I was about to write about my friend Erica.

They walked into the coffee shop I’m in, together!

Let me explain.

Jonnie and his brother Nate are in the Navy.  Jonnie will soon join Nate in Hawaii.  Nate will be stationed there until he is re-assigned to Guam.

I was thinking about Jonnie because next Spring I will see his smiling face IN Hawaii.

What?

Yeah, I know, right?!?!

We no longer use credit cards, so a “plastic vacation” is not an option.

This picture creates many mixed feelings for me; the most evident feeling is loneliness.

The picture reminds me of who I might have become if I never learned to be a friend.

My best friends growing up were our dogs.  My dog was a friendly, patient, German Shepherd named Shawn.

Shawn was the best friend I had, but I needed people-friends too.

Alone

Sitting in my basement bedroom was my high school haven.  Posters on the wall, a dog on my bed, clothes on the floor and music in my head.  It was my room.  All mine.