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Listening is a choice.  You can choose to listen attentively or you can choose not to.

Listening requires self-control.  Choosing to listen and not to speak requires self-discipline for most people.  Sadly many people spend all their time waiting for the other person to stop so they can talk again.

Listening requires practice.  The discipline of listening becomes easier as we learn to value listening.

I value listening more because I believe it demonstrates God’s character.

How you ask?  Consider how much more God listens to you than speak to you.   God doesn’t speak often, but God spoke through the prophet:

Back in January my friend Tim Geoffrion wrote an insightful post entitled “When Loving Gets Tough.”

“When conflicts arise or we have been hurt, or when others really irritate or offend us, it can be really tough to love them…For any number of reasons, our intention or attempts to love others can fall short.”

We want to love.  We want to act lovingly.  It’s our plan.  We think loving thoughts.  We would tell other friends or family members that we love ___, but when the conflicts arise it does not look very loving.

Last night as I sat in a TreeHouse support group I was awed with the humility and accountability of the teens present. They listened patiently and compassionately.

Directly and indirectly each teen reminded the other that “this is a safe place.”

Each teen who wanted caring support received it. And, remembering previous concerns, teens asked one another about issues and concerns that were mentioned in previous groups.

Without breaking confidentiality, similar questions include “How’s it going with…?”, “You said that…?”, “Wait, did you…or didn’t you?”

Honesty is a culturally threatening virtue. So threatening that few people make it a constant choice. It’s counter-cultural to choose to be honest.

Cultural Corruption

People joked about cheating on their taxes – “it’s okay unless you get caught.” People make “little white lies.” They cover up the truth “to protect the other person.”

“Everyone lies” and “everyone lies some of the time” are routinely used to justify the choice to be dishonest. That’s if the choice to be dishonest is ever challenged.

“You love evil more than good and lies more than truth”, says the songwriter.

TreeHouse alumni often tell me that they wish that they had relationships as adults like the ones that they had at TreeHouse.

Healthy relationships are hard work and many adults either don’t know how or don’t take the time to build truly lasting and meaningful friendships.

What’s it take to be a good friend?

Honesty, trust, respect, fun, unselfishness, humor, patience, commitment, integrity, and kindness form the foundation upon which healthy friendships stands strong.

Yes, friendships are hard work, but friendships are one of the few things in life that may last a lifetime.