I gave out my cell phone number to a new friend this week.

As soon as I shared my number I felt obligated to explain a few things:
– I don’t answer very often
– I don’t text back very quickly
– I don’t answer when I’m busy
– I don’t respond to people who call or text repeatedly

A few years ago I decided it was easier to explain this list of annoyances when I share my number than to have to make apologies.

All us us have to cope with the challenges of peer pressure. When we face peer pressure situations it helps to understand our motives.

Often we don’t let down the internal pressure because we feel that the expectations of others don’t let us — or at least that’s what we think.

We assume “making people happy” is a sign of being a good friend, when it really drives us to a dangerous place and perpetuates unreasonable expectations.

You have choices.
I have choices.

Choices

We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see.

Why is it so hard to cope with peer pressure?

Why does peer pressure cause us so much stress whether it’s in a school lunchroom, a college dorm or a corporate board room.

Why? There are many reason. Steve Stephens wrote a brief, yet insightful list explaining why friendships are important to us; even those who are just coworkers. .

Why Friends Are Important by Dr. Steve Stephens

They laugh with us
They cry with us
They build memories with us
They stand beside us
They confront us
They believe the best in us
They help us grow
They keep us from temptation
They make our lives better

It’s the day after Valentines Day.

Some people had a great Valentines Day, others did not. 

Just as some people have great relationships, some not.

“I can’t believe it,” she said, “my best friend told me that she heard that my sister has been sleeping with my boyfriend. When she got home I asked my sister about the rumor. She didn’t deny it, ‘He’s was gonna break up with you anyway.’”

Wow!

No one needs a “holiday” to show love, but it’s a day like Valentines Day that can catalyze kindness.

1. Say “Thank you.”

Most people don’t take the time to express appreciation for their loved ones. This Valentines Day – before dinner, at the lunch table, in the break room, on the phone, through a text – take a moment to say something specific that you appreciate about that person.

2. Give a handwritten a note.

Text. Twitter. IM. Voxer. Cell phones. Apps. Every communication seems to be instant and electronic. This Valentines Day try something new – actually old – write a handwritten note!

My friend and co-worker at TreeHouse LeAndra Williams has a great spin on friendship. So, LeAndra, take it away!

“After many years and different friendships I have come to a place in my life to recognize helpful and hurtful friends. I have had the privilege to experience both.”

Lee, what have you learned?

“The first step to recognize if you have helpful or hurtful friend is to see which category your friend fits in. Friends are usually in one of these categories. A friend is either an Adder, a Subtracter, a Multiplier, or a Divider.”

Let me explain:

I have some friends who are choosing to start a new or refreshed relationship with God.

Those decisions made me think of these wise works:

“To live as God’s child is to know, at this very instant, that you are loved by your Maker
– NOT because you try to please God and succeed,
– OR fail to please God and apologize,
– BUT because God wants to be your Father. Nothing more.

All your efforts to win God’s affection are unnecessary.
All your fears of losing God’s affection are needless.

This week I’m responding to Ken Davis’ call to be “fully alive.” Fully alive people are characterized by many things including meaningful friendships, courageously overcoming fear, and a determination to course corrections when they fail.

We all fail.  Failure is painful.

Pain is part of the price of living.
– Love is painful.
– Relationships are painful.
– Failing is painful.

If we choose to move forward in our quest to live fully alive, we will fall, it will hurt . . . and it will be worth it.

Be prepared to pay the price. Change costs.  Progress can be painful.

I had just thrown an interception. In my opinion, throwing an interception was letting my team down. I failed to complete the pass. I failed to help my teammate Madison. She could have caught a good pass, but I threw it where she couldn’t catch it. 

“Other Scott” happily grabbed it. 

“Other Scott” won the game’s MVP award, but I — this Scott — let my team down. I hate when I let my team down.

Fortunately, I was not alone.

“God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control.” 1

Fully Alive by Ken Davis challenges us to step out of our comfort zones, and yesterday as part of being fully alive we discussed the importance of making friends and building deep friendships.

You Can’t Fake Being Fully Alive

“You can fool people for a while, but eventually they will know. And you can never fool yourself.

Being alive is more than simply looking fluffed up and combed out on the outside. It’s a matter of attitude. And that comes from the inside. Approaching…challenges with the right attitude is the first and most important step you can take. Your attitude will launch your dreams or bury them.”