I’m turning 50 this week. 

I’m not yet fifty — it’s just one day away — but I thought I’d lead you through my journey, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two that will help you on your journey.

Alone, But Not

You know how it is when you feel less alone when someone else can understand your pain?

There are days when I live like a practical atheist. 

Not that I don’t care about God, but that I don’t even think about God.

Angry, depressed and lonely describes most of my teen years.   If I had given up as a teen I would never have known most of you.  I would never have come out of the basement.  I would never have come to enjoy my parents, made lifelong friends, found hope or gotten to know God.

I felt so unworthy.  Ever felt that way?  I was smart but “stupid”.  I was gifted but misguided.  In my anger and angst I would make foolish and hurtful decisions.  Those decisions would make my life harder.  Leading, of course, to more anger and angst.  Building one upon the other anger became bitterness and angst became depression.