While watching footage of the recent Boston Marathon, I, like you, felt shock and awe watching brave people run toward the scared and injured. I felt humbled by their bravery. Josh Groban wrote a wonderful song about being brave.

Josh Groban – Brave

Wake up, wake up, the sun cannot wait for long
Reach out, reach out before it fades away
You will find the warmth when you surrender
Smile into the fear and let it play

Josh Groban’s song False Alarms is about a dating relationship, but the feelings he’s feeling can also apply to other relationships where there have been hurt feelings.

False Alarms

Far across this red horizon
I am walking down the line
I am picking up the pieces
That this storm has left behind

After all the clouds are fallen
I would breach the battered ground
Turn your darkness into light love
Turn your silence into sound

But I can’t cage you in my arms
When my heart is jumping forward
To avoid your false alarms
And you can’t tell me not to stay
When I opened up your window
And I watched you fly away

Secrets, we all have them.
Secrets, we all guard them.
Secrets, we all fear their exposure.

Yesterday I mentioned Josh Groban’s song – Hidden Away.

If you haven’t had a chance to hear it, give it a listen. He opens the song with:

“Over mountains and sky blue seas
On great circles will you watch for me?
The sweetest feeling I’ve got inside
I just can’t wait to get lost in your eyes
And all these words that you meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don’t keep them hidden away”

Secrets, we all have them.
Secrets, we all guard them.
Secrets, we all fear their exposure.

This sweet song by Josh Groban describes one person’s challenge to help another feel safe enough to share those secrets.

Josh Groban – Hidden Away

“Over mountains and sky blue seas
On great circles will you watch for me?
The sweetest feeling I’ve got inside
I just can’t wait to get lost in your eyes
And all these words that you meant to say
Held in silence day after day
Words of kindness that our poor hearts crave
Please don’t keep them hidden away

Bad foundations in relationships lead to relationship-rot.

A bad start to a relationship does not have to be a deal-breaker, but it usually is.

Why does it happen that way?

Because broken people break people, and hurting people hurt people.

– When people assume others will abandon them, they choose not to invest.
– When people assume others are suspicious, they choose not to trust.
– When people assume others will take rather than give, they selfishly protect.
– When people assume others are means to an end: “Greed meets a need.”

That sounds so fatalistic, but it’s not.

Often times when people contact me about their relationship problems it’s because their relationships were built on unstable foundations.

Let me explain, relationships, like buildings, need a firm and solid foundation including:
– Honesty
– Respect
– Kindness
– Thoughtfulness

Unfortunately, many relationships begin just the opposite:
– Dishonesty
– Suspicion
– Selfishness
– Greed

Oh, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Consider these four examples:

Example 1 – Because of deep-seated fears rooted after the loss of her mother at a young add she guards herself with dishonesty.

Unconditional love, unfailing love (as the Bible calls it) or “love without strings” as we call it at TreeHouse is a rare & precious commodity.

A commodity that you and I can increase.

To paraphrase Leo Buscaglia, “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be herself or himself
– to laugh with me, but never at me;
– to cry with me, but never because of me;
– to love life,
– to love yourself,
– to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” 1

For some people the number 13 is synonymous with bad luck and

13 makes them pause, hesitate, and even back away.

It’s considered unlucky to have:
– 13 guests at a dinner party
– a 13th floor in a building 
– a wedding on the 13th of the month
– or to buy a house on the 13th of the month

I have some friends who are choosing to start a new or refreshed relationship with God.

Those decisions made me think of these wise works:

“To live as God’s child is to know, at this very instant, that you are loved by your Maker
– NOT because you try to please God and succeed,
– OR fail to please God and apologize,
– BUT because God wants to be your Father. Nothing more.

All your efforts to win God’s affection are unnecessary.
All your fears of losing God’s affection are needless.

What do you do when you have one agenda, and someone else has another, but you’re supposed to be “on the same page”?

Your parent may be right.
Your parent may be wrong.
Your teen may be realistic.
Your teen may be deluded.

One principle helps me make sense of other people — even very smart people — who make stupid choices.

The principle: Most people do what they believe makes sense.

This weekend teens  will:
– Lie to their parents about where they are going
– Lie to their parents about what they will be doing
– Lie to their parents about where they will spend the night
– Lie to their parents about who they will be with