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Jun 20

Stop

Posted on Friday, June 20, 2014 in Emotional, Intellectual, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sign-stop-95477_640Our Story

It’s heartbreaking to see people in pain. It’s perplexing to hear of loved ones who hurt one another.

Most people try to help not hurt. Most people look for solutions not problems, but  too often the solutions slam one another.

“Good people” gossip.
“Kind-hearted” people talk behind backs.
“Loving” people SCREAM angrily!

Foolish, hurtful solutions to initiate change.

And so, each of us must give an account to God for what we do…Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.” 1

Jun 13

(Mostly) Happlily Ever After

Posted on Friday, June 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Amy & ME“Love you gorgeous, I’ll be in there in ten minutes.”

It’s 2:00 A.M.  I just said that as Amy woke from her late night nap and staggered off to bed. I’ve said similar things hundreds of times.

Quirks

Schedules: Since we were married 27 years ago today I have gone to sleep second 98% of the time. Often times I am last to sleep and first one awake. We have almost always had different schedules.

Jun 12

Push Through Your Fear

Posted on Thursday, June 12, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

think-1313532-mYesterday I would have screamed, “Don’t Act Like A Jerk!” if I wasn’t so aware of my tone of voice.

My tone of voice and the underlying thoughts and feelings have tripped me up more than I’d like to admit. Before I got around to admitting it, in this post, I asked: What should you be seeing in your own life? What do you let stand in the way of seeing it?

Hopefully you’ll think about that a while, but in the meantime with an honest assessment in hand, I’ll tell you how I’m dealing with my contribution to the turmoil I tend to create.

Jun 11

My Tone

Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sad face-110104_640What are you adding to your team? We all have something to add, but are we contributing and aware that we are?

We all have our quirks
. In a team setting, how do your quirks add value and how do they add drama?

Unfortunately, too often those quirks can make us look like jerks if we let them.

My “Tone”

Wow, do I hate those words. Not because someone doesn’t have a right to say them. Nor that they shouldn’t say them to me, but now, because they brought it up, I have to take an honest look at myself.

Jun 10

Team Tensions

Posted on Tuesday, June 10, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

photo(3b)Sunday our Spring Cleaning Team tackled our home. Amy is detail-oriented. Josh is an innovative thinker and a hard worker. Shannon is a team player with a great attitude. I work long and hard.

That all sounds like a great productive team, but it takes some work to cope with each person’s unique style.

Team Tensions

May 13

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

Posted on Tuesday, May 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

stained_glass_crossI went to a funeral last week.
I looked around.
I captured the moment.

I saw the faces that filled the spaces.

The grief was clear.
The sadness is tender.
The care was genuine.
The affection was deep.
The appreciation was sincere.

I saw regret wash over some faces.

Maybe for Vern; the dear man who passed away. Maybe, or more likely, for words never spoken to others.

It’s true, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” 1

So, on their behalf, and for each of us, here are two words of wisdom:

May 11

Mothers Day Apologies You Might Need

Posted on Sunday, May 11, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Spiritual, Values

mother-sonI don’t know what to say.

I don’t want to say it wrong.”

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard those two phrases. I even color-coded them, because most often I’ve heard girls and women say the second, and boys and men say the first.

Why? Hurt people hurt people.

Regardless what your mother has said or done, intentionally or not, with genuine love, misguided “love” or with hate in her heart, her choices are her choices, her attitudes are her attitudes. And, yours are yours.

Do not try to change the other person, the change starts with ourselves.

Dec 2

Holiday Rest Intentions

Posted on Monday, December 2, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Spiritual, Sports, Values

half empty half full -141361_640I’m not very good at relaxing.

Like many of you I had some time off of work for the Thanksgiving weekend. Unfortunately, even while I was “relaxing” I was not particularly restful.
– I read for work.
– I studied health and nutrition.
– Felt frustrated with the Chicago Bears.
– I followed my fantasy football players.
I was not particularly “rest-full.”

Is Rest Possible?

I know I’m not “good” at resting, but I know that it’s possible.

Nov 29

3 Black Friday Recovery Tips

Posted on Friday, November 29, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Music, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Stressed? Shaking?
Angry? Frustrated?
Disappointed?

Millions of shoppers drive recklessly, hunt hopefully, relate rudely, and waiting impatiently. For shoppers, shop-owners and employees alike Black Friday is day we need recovery.

3 Black Friday Recovery Tips

StopBlack Friday Recovery Tip #1 – Stop: Stop believing a gift will make you more lovable. Stop hoping. Stop trying. You are always a lovable person. Our Creator knows what we truly need, all efforts to define ourself that exclude our Creator are doomed to fail. Stop.

Dan Adler’s song All I Need is You is a wonderful reminder of what’s really going to bring us hope and satisfaction in life.

Oct 29

Listen Deeply

Posted on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 in How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

longing_2A year and a half ago I wrote the very popular 9 Consequences Of Not Listening.

This week I’d like to highlight five listening moments.

Monday was Listening to Understand

Listen In

Listening, really listening, makes a huge difference in our relationships.
– We hear more of what’s being said
– We quiet our need to be in control
– The speaker feels more lovable as we pay attention
– We assure the speaker feels worthwhile as we listen
– Our self-respect grows as we commend ourselves as capable listeners