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Nov 25

Thanksgiving Drama Defense

Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

angry-girl-1098247-mAlmost every week I hear someone say, “she made me…” or “he made me…” as if they could.

Without a doubt we influence one another, but far too often we justify bad attitudes and hurtful responses because of the attitudes and decisions of others.

This week when tempers flare during your holiday gatherings here are three strategies to drop the drama:

1. Choose to use a soft voice.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.“ 1

Regardless what the other person chooses you can chose a soft and kind tone in your voice.

Aug 27

12 Ways To Encourage A Child (Ages 0-118)

Posted on Wednesday, August 27, 2014 in Relational

quantitative-58283_640Angry teens.
Parents in pain.
Explosive children.
Perplexed neighbors.

What can we do?

Every child I’ve met wants to be affirmed that they are lovable, capable and worthwhile.

We can start there.

12 Ways To Encourage A Child (Ages 0-118)

“You Are Lovable!”: Give attention to their character.
– Who they are has greater value than what they achieve.
– Accept mistakes; show grace.
– Bad decisions, poor choices and mistakes can be great teachers.
– Offer unconditional love. Trust can be conditional, love cannot.

“You Are Capable!”

Aug 26

Broken Mirrors

Posted on Tuesday, August 26, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

broken-mirror-1128615-mShouting.
Crash.
Slam.

He could hear the yelling from the neighbors’ house every night.

Shouts of anger.
Shouts of pain.
Shouts of passion.
He wondered,
“Was there any gain?”

The Cost of Turmoil

Teens, families, friendships and all kinds of relationships suffer because of the lack of peaceful conflict resolution skills. Conflicts arise, those involved feel hurt, disappointed, afraid or frustrated, and it quickly turns into anger. Anger often erupts in retaliation or brutal honesty. Alienation increases, relationships are broken, and scars are formed.

Aug 25

Mirror Clash

Posted on Monday, August 25, 2014 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

mirror-56762-mIf every time you looked in the mirror you saw someone different looking at you at would add to your stress too.

Mirror

The process of adolescence is complex and unpredictable. The young person experiences physical changes that catapult their childish frame into that of an adult. The intellect intensifies to form logical patterns of thinking and begins to formulate future plans. The teen also struggles to form an identity separate from that of a child or a mature adult. Meanwhile, the teen is faced with issues of morality and must make critical decisions about sex, drugs, and other social behaviors.

Jun 20

Stop

Posted on Friday, June 20, 2014 in Emotional, Intellectual, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sign-stop-95477_640Our Story

It’s heartbreaking to see people in pain. It’s perplexing to hear of loved ones who hurt one another.

Most people try to help not hurt. Most people look for solutions not problems, but  too often the solutions slam one another.

“Good people” gossip.
“Kind-hearted” people talk behind backs.
“Loving” people SCREAM angrily!

Foolish, hurtful solutions to initiate change.

And so, each of us must give an account to God for what we do…Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.” 1

Jun 13

(Mostly) Happlily Ever After

Posted on Friday, June 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

Amy & ME“Love you gorgeous, I’ll be in there in ten minutes.”

It’s 2:00 A.M.  I just said that as Amy woke from her late night nap and staggered off to bed. I’ve said similar things hundreds of times.

Quirks

Schedules: Since we were married 27 years ago today I have gone to sleep second 98% of the time. Often times I am last to sleep and first one awake. We have almost always had different schedules.

Jun 12

Push Through Your Fear

Posted on Thursday, June 12, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

think-1313532-mYesterday I would have screamed, “Don’t Act Like A Jerk!” if I wasn’t so aware of my tone of voice.

My tone of voice and the underlying thoughts and feelings have tripped me up more than I’d like to admit. Before I got around to admitting it, in this post, I asked: What should you be seeing in your own life? What do you let stand in the way of seeing it?

Hopefully you’ll think about that a while, but in the meantime with an honest assessment in hand, I’ll tell you how I’m dealing with my contribution to the turmoil I tend to create.

Jun 11

My Tone

Posted on Wednesday, June 11, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

sad face-110104_640What are you adding to your team? We all have something to add, but are we contributing and aware that we are?

We all have our quirks
. In a team setting, how do your quirks add value and how do they add drama?

Unfortunately, too often those quirks can make us look like jerks if we let them.

My “Tone”

Wow, do I hate those words. Not because someone doesn’t have a right to say them. Nor that they shouldn’t say them to me, but now, because they brought it up, I have to take an honest look at myself.

Jun 10

Team Tensions

Posted on Tuesday, June 10, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Values

photo(3b)Sunday our Spring Cleaning Team tackled our home. Amy is detail-oriented. Josh is an innovative thinker and a hard worker. Shannon is a team player with a great attitude. I work long and hard.

That all sounds like a great productive team, but it takes some work to cope with each person’s unique style.

Team Tensions

May 13

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

Posted on Tuesday, May 13, 2014 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

stained_glass_crossI went to a funeral last week.
I looked around.
I captured the moment.

I saw the faces that filled the spaces.

The grief was clear.
The sadness is tender.
The care was genuine.
The affection was deep.
The appreciation was sincere.

I saw regret wash over some faces.

Maybe for Vern; the dear man who passed away. Maybe, or more likely, for words never spoken to others.

It’s true, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” 1

So, on their behalf, and for each of us, here are two words of wisdom: