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Jan 11

We Need Perspective

Posted on Friday, January 11, 2013 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

We need wisdom.
We need clarity.

We need accountability.
We need to stop pretending.

We need to admit we need others.
We need someone to be honest with us.

We need to pull our head out of…
We need to shut down the machine we use to crank out “I can handle this alone.”

We Need Perspective

Usually when we’re worried or upset
that we start trying to force it, to fake it, to “make it happen,”
then things start falling apart;
it’s because we’ve lost perspective.

Jun 23

Don’t Settle, Get Support

Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2012 in Relational

“Whoever does not have a good father should procure one.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

I love that quote.
– Do you wish that you had a trustworthy father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had an affirming father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had a playful father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had a wise father figure? Find one.

If I was looking for a father figure I would look in a good church. Honest.  Regardless what you’ve heard, there are many good people in good churches who are making a positive difference in the world. 

Oct 6

Shame Works!

Posted on Thursday, October 6, 2011 in Emotional, How To, Relational, Social, Spiritual, Values

In this series on shame we had some fun with it, defined it, and practically explained how culturally bound and complicated shame-filled groups can become.

Q – Why Do We Still Choose Shame?

A – Shame “Solves Problems.”

If you are:
1. Are you angry? Smile.
2. Feeling afraid? Act tough.
3. Feeling hurt? Hide it.
4. Feeling like a mess? Cover it up.
5. Feeling weak? Tough it out.
6. Feeling worried? Don’t worry. Be happy.
7. Just got “caught’? Deny it.

It might seem like problem solving, but sublimating can easily become shaming.

Oct 5

Shame & Cultural Blunders

Posted on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 in Emotional, Relational, Social, Values

You’ve heard it said, “You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Shame on you.”

Sadly, more than one parent has used shame and humiliation to try to change the behavior of their children.

We have a lot of them, cultural blunders.

Here are a few blunders, but there are thousands more.
– Walking around with your “fly” undone.
– Farting in an elevator.
– Talking loudly during a movie.
– Singing, loud, off key.
– Throwing a tantrum in public.
– Breaking something in a store.
– Dirtying, or staining, your good clothes.

Rules Change