Monday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion, followed by Silently Express Your Compassion.

I would argue that undermost circumstances when we express compassion we are better to be silent that to talk too much.

It’s important to listen patiently without an agenda.
And, to listen compassionately without judgment.

We all need to listen patiently, graciously and sensitively; seeking neither to give advice nor to fix people.

Sometimes we do need to speak up. It’s a challenge to know when to speak up and when to shut up.

Yesterday How To Express Your Compassion began a series on compassion borne out of pain.

Let me back up a step. For more than twenty years I have struggled to provide caring support for those in need.

You see, I’m a head-guy, more than a heart-guy.

As a cerebral-thinker it’s been a challenge to fit the deep emotional pain of people in pain within my worldview. It’s hard sometimes. Naturally I want to:
– Assess
– Fix
– Mind-map
– Problem-solve
– Trace things back to their origin

I want to manage, measure, navigate, unravel and diagnose.

People pass away every day.

Parents are in pain every day.

Teens deal with backstabbing and drama every day.

What can you do to help?
What’s been most effective?

Listen.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Listen patiently without an agenda.
Listen compassionately without judgment.

My Two Requests

My good friend Nick is flying tomorrow to support a loved one whose son was killed by a drunk driver.

If you’re a praying person – especially if you’re a parent – please pray for the young man’s grieving family and friends.

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi has been defeated.  MSNBC reported that his last words were: ‘Do you know right from wrong?’ I do not know whether he was treated as he should have been or not. I know that he deserved justice,  just like you and I do.

I don’t interact with world leaders, but in my sphere of influence I have to ask myself: ‘Do you know right from wrong?‘

I want to treat people, especially my loved ones, with the ultimate respect.  I try, but sometimes I get in my own way.

CUTTING – AFTER A BREAKUP

THE QUESTION: Our son’s girlfriend broke up with him about a year ago. He doesn’t show any signs moving on with his life. He cuts on his arm. It looks so awful. He doesn’t date. What can I do with him?

OUR REPLY: “The breakup of a relationship is almost always very painful to at least one partner, and you did the right thing by looking for help. God does care very deeply about your son, and God doesn’t want him to spend the rest of his life believing something about himself that isn’t true. He has a right to grieve. He will get through this painful time. Remind him that you care and that he does not have to go through his grief alone.”