We need wisdom.
We need clarity.

We need accountability.
We need to stop pretending.

We need to admit we need others.
We need someone to be honest with us.

We need to pull our head out of…
We need to shut down the machine we use to crank out “I can handle this alone.”

We Need Perspective

Usually when we’re worried or upset
that we start trying to force it, to fake it, to “make it happen,”
then things start falling apart;
it’s because we’ve lost perspective.

“Whoever does not have a good father should procure one.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

I love that quote.
– Do you wish that you had a trustworthy father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had an affirming father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had a playful father figure? Find one.
– Do you wish that you had a wise father figure? Find one.

If I was looking for a father figure I would look in a good church. Honest.  Regardless what you’ve heard, there are many good people in good churches who are making a positive difference in the world. 

When did your parents say nice things to you and about you? How did you feel? Or, sadly, maybe you can’t think of a time when you parents gave you positive attention.

Robert McGee wrote, “Every rejection reminded me that as a child I had never experienced the love from my father that I wanted–that I deserved.”

“When father/child relationships become seriously distorted, children lose perspective. They cease to feel valued and valuable. Having learned that more is required than merely being, children soon turn to doing by trying to behave in a way that pleases the parent.”

Because the trajectory of our lives is affected by our relationship with our fathers it must be examined. When our relationship with our dad has left wounds and scars, our “father hunger” needs attention.

Try to be honest, do you feel a sense of loss when you think of your relationship with your father? If so, how do you cope with that loss?

Grief, Loss & Father Hunger

Susan Berger is a researcher studying the grief and loss of others:
– She interviewed hundreds of people
– She studied how they have been able to move on after the death of a loved one.

Monday I proposed that what comes to mind when we think of our dad, our father, and our father figures, contributes to the trajectory of our lives.

Yesterday I supported my opinion that “father hunger” affects us deeply.  Many people have a void inside them that is due to “father hunger,” and this disguised hunger has had great impact on the way they live.

I finished by asking four questions:

How hungry am I?
How hungry are you?
Do you know someone starving?
How would we know?

Emotional Signs of Father Hunger

Yesterday I proposed that what comes to mind when we think of our dad, our father, and our father figures, contributes to the trajectory of our lives.

SUPPORTIVE Perspectives

Here are four philosophical perspectives that supportive my position.

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.
– Sigmund Freud

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
– Carl Jung

The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
– Benjamin Spock

I love dry ice volcanoes.

I’m not alone.  When one of my elementary school teachers pulled out a dry ice volcano all eyes were on her.  

Our teacher may have a had a hard time drawing our collective attention five minutes earlier, but not now.  

All of us sat on the edge of our seats.  I remember leaning forward in my desk hoping to add a little elevation to my small frame to get a better view.

We were fascinated when the “lava” began to flow over the crest of the volcano.

I know that this has happened to you.  Today it happened to me.

The clock showed “10:41″,  I relaxed, settled in and took a deep breath.  I had time.  No need to rush.

I did a couple quick things that needed to get done, took a quick glance at the clock, “Wow, I’m really efficient today.”

Then.  Then!  THEN!  I thought to myself, that was too efficient.  I checked another clock, “11:16″!

Noooooo!  The clock had stopped!

Panic

My leisurely lunch deadline, now became my dead spring lunch deadline.

A clutch play is a moment in time when what needs to happen happens when it’s most needed. Clutch plays don’t just happen in sports.  Clutch plays happen in the lunchroom, living room, boardroom, and bedroom.

We can count on her. She has poise.
He produces in the clutch. He’s reliable.

Be careful not to count on previous reliability.

Previous Success Doesn’t Guarantee Future Success

This past Sunday the former Super Bowl MVP Deion Branch dropped two passes, and former Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady threw an interception, missed an open receiver and looked panicked.  They play for the New England Patriots, and lost.