Watch the way you talk — don’t use foul or abusive language, stop all your dirty talk, do not say harmful things, do not let any unwholesome talk come out, nothing foul or dirty — say the right thing at the right time — each word a gift, good and helpful — and help others by what you say.

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them; say what people need — words that will help others become stronger — words for building others become stronger so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them, that it may benefit those who listen. 1

Mark Gregston’s Tough Guys and Drama Queens is written to help parents help their teens by providing a harbor through the storms of life.

Gregston states that, “When it comes to parenting, it’s not about us. It’s about our kids. Our parenting should not be a display of effort to try to be recognized as parent of the year, but ours should be lives filled with actions that teach our kids how to develop discernment, moral values, and compassion for the world around them. Mom and dads, your teens don’t need more friends; they need a parent. They need a close relationship with someone who is determined to teach them how to survive in a world where responsibility is an essential character trait.”

In my fourth in a series on helping our child, lover or friend open up today we’re examining our tendency to give advice.

Maybe it’s just my problem,

Maybe I’m the only one reading these words who thinks “I know” better, who knows “what’s going on”, who can “see more clearly” than anyone else can, and who realized “what this is going to lead to”, but, probably not.

In the past couple weeks I’ve found myself in several conflicts. 

Sometimes it was clearly my fault, other times it was a miscommunication, and I’ve also been attacked by others.

Whether it’s listening to someone we’ve hurt, listening to someone explain their perspective, or listening to someone we’ve been hurt by, almost everyone I know agrees that we need to become better listeners.

Here are six helpful tips that I’m learning.

6 Attitudes That Get In The Way Of Listening:

Like you I loved summer vacation.  I was not — surprise — a sleep-in kinda kid.

I was a play-outside kinda kid.

One of my favorite places to play was at our neighborhood playground.

I loved sliding on the slide.

I loved swinging on the swings.

As the school year ends and summer begins here is some relationship advice that helped others.

Choose Wisely When Relationships Slide

Short tempers unsettled leads to impulsive thinking.
Impulsive thinking untamed leads to quick choices.
Quick choices unresolved leads to short-term planning.
Short-term planning unrestrained often leads to long-term consequences.

So many teens and adults are tense as the school year ends.

Teens who encounter their bullies with their last-day-of-school threats.
Bullies who want to make a final statement before summer.

Teachers whose patience has run out.
School administrators who are running on fumes.

Co-workers trying to figure out day care choices.
Colleagues worried about their unsupervised teens.
Police officers dreading the last day of school drama.

And, all of us who care about them.

Here’s some life-transforming advice for all of us:

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.

Welcome today to our friends from Chris Spradlin’s insightful and practical EpicParent.

Chris was gracious enough to allow me to guest post on EpicParent today.  You can read “You’re Not Alone!!” here.

Let me catch you all up.

This week we took a look at fifteen year old Desean’s choice to come home drunk.

We took a look at his scenario from three perspectives:

What’s A Mom To Do?

What’s A Dad To Do?

What’s a Best Friend to Do?

Today we’ll consider what a neighbor should and should not do.

Mario Manningham, the NY Giants wide receiver was a good receiver in 2010, but the 18th worst at catching the football this year.  Fortunately, when it mattered most he caught the football that helped save the season for the Super Bowl winning Giants. 1

Most of us live life like Manningham, success one moment and we fail the next.  We want to be the best but stumple into stupid fights with the people we love the most.  It’s a those times we need to be the clutch player and choose to do what’s most needed.

Clutch At Home

Headlines announce the news of the day.

You a Jersey Shore fan?  Did you know that  ‘Jersey Shore’ star Snooki was hit with $7 Million lawsuit?

Maybe you love Jersey but don’t care about Jersey Shore. Did you know that, All 5 aboard a plane died when it crashed ON an interstate highway in New Jersey?  Or, maybe you heard that Jersey-born Jon Bon Jovi was dead?

We want to know accurate information.  We want to know the truth.

The Truth

No, Jon Bon Jovi is not dead.

My Top 5 values are Family, Friendship, Love, and Religious Beliefs, with Security edging out Peace and Self-Respect for the fifth spot, but sometimes I screw that up.

Several people I’ve talked to this week told me about their attitude toward parents, relatives, siblings and fellow customers in stores.

Did you want to be loving and blow it?

Did you want to be caring and seemed crabby?

Did you plan to not be a Black Friday freak, but you freaked out anyway?

There’s hope!