As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders.  I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

I would ask: 

I know that you have spent your career with men and women older than yourself.
In that time you have listened and learned as they’ve talked about their lives and their values. You have gathered insights and wisdom from their successes and their failures.

This year I’m turning 50 and I’m starting to feel middle-aged.
I don’t know how old you are, but I know you’ve learned from those older than us.

This weekend at Anika’s baby dedication we shared parenting advice with the new parents Angi & Aaron.

My wife Amy said, “If you screw up, fess up.” 

She elaborated, “when you make mistakes admit them.”

Unfortunately, Amy learned that lesson from my…umm…from me.

You see, I’ve had to fess up a lot.

When I Mismanage My Life I Neglect My Highest Priorities

When I have mismanaged my life it’s my wife and God who get cheated. Sadly, I take for granted those who love me the most. I haven’t rejected my faith in God, I’ve just gotten so busy that I have not included God in my thoughts, feelings and plans as often as I would prefer.

I’m turning 50 this week. 

I’m not yet fifty — it’s just two days away — but I thought I’d lead you through my journey, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two that will help you on your journey.

Hurts < = > Heartache < = > Hope.
Fights < = > Frustrations < = > Faith.

Love Wins!

While all of the above are part of relationships, which way the flow flows is dependent on love.

Will love overcome the hurt?
Will love overcome the fights?

“If you support _____ immediately delete me.”

That was posted on Facebook, tweeted and repeated passionately in the last few weeks leading up to our national election.

It’s interesting how much anger and vitriol arises during election years.

I see it everywhere.

Even among comic book readers.

At the risk of alienating fans of other fans I’m only going to refer to two set of loyalists, the Batman and the Superman fans.

Recently I read a graphic novel called Trinity by Matt Wagner featuring Wonder Woman, Superman and Batman. In the Trinity there is a conversation between Wonder Woman and Superman about Batman.

William Wilberforce — as mentioned yesterday — was a bold, but peculiar man, who changed the world.

William Wilberforce was also featured in the movie Amazing Grace. It’s a powerful film that reveals the tension that Wilberforce faced in his personal and public life.

People who step forward or step “out of line” face that tension. 

– Teens who stand up against bullies are often threatened themselves.
– Entrepreneurs who market boldly are often ostracized by their competition.
– Excited parents are glared at when they cheer for their daughter or son at sporting events.
– Weather forecasters are often derided when their forecasts are mistaken.
– Fans who cheer too loudly at sporting events can be shouted down.

I watched the debate between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney last night.

The two participants became contentious. 

Maybe they cared deeply about having the most accurate and helpful information.

Maybe they work hard at accuracy and — being right — they wanted to be quoted accurately.

But, I’m saddened to think that they might care more about being elected.

What Would They Sacrifice To Win?

Following the debate I read various perspectives about the debate.

Adam Clymer, writing for the New York Times, began:

Watch the way you talk — don’t use foul or abusive language, stop all your dirty talk, do not say harmful things, do not let any unwholesome talk come out, nothing foul or dirty — say the right thing at the right time — each word a gift, good and helpful — and help others by what you say.

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them; say what people need — words that will help others become stronger — words for building others become stronger so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them, that it may benefit those who listen. 1

Yesterday in Pumpkin-Seed & Peeps I mentioned that embattled people can still be gracious.

It’s true.

We can choose to respect people we don’t like.
– We can choose to tolerate your differences.
– We can choose to talk things out rather than stuff your annoyances.

We can choose to bring happiness.
– If we hug people, let’s offer everyone hugs.
– We can all choose to forget the drama.
– We can all choose to forgive the guilty.

That final point, “choose to forgive the guilty” is a sticking point for many.

This weekend my dear – and very pregnant – friend Angi had a baby shower.

“Pumpkin seed” is Angi’s first.
This was also my first baby shower.

I know husbands, boyfriends, significant others and the like who have attended baby showers, but I never had.

I was feeling a variety of feelings as the moment to leave for the party arrived:

Mark Gregston’s Tough Guys and Drama Queens is written to help parents help their teens by providing a harbor through the storms of life.

Gregston states that, “When it comes to parenting, it’s not about us. It’s about our kids. Our parenting should not be a display of effort to try to be recognized as parent of the year, but ours should be lives filled with actions that teach our kids how to develop discernment, moral values, and compassion for the world around them. Mom and dads, your teens don’t need more friends; they need a parent. They need a close relationship with someone who is determined to teach them how to survive in a world where responsibility is an essential character trait.”