Donald Miller’s post yesterday entitled, “Learning to Turn the Other Cheek (Even Though I HATE Critics)” got me thinking, “How would I respond to attacks?” I assumed I would respond defensively and with self-pity.

Jesus

“Blessed are the peacemakers…Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness.“1

Last night as I read Philip Yancey’s book The Jesus I Never Knew about those verses this account challenged my thinking.

This past weekend I was in a conversation with a group of people about when they received their first pair of glasses. I received my first pair of glasses in second grade. I couldn’t read the blackboard in school very well.

One person said third grade.
Another said fifth grade.
A fourth person said, “in junior high.”

“Really?”, I asked.
He added, “Well, I needed them years before, but I was just faking it.”

Just Faking It

Ah, just faking it.

Too often we fake reality wishing it was different, when it’s not.

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders. I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

Monday I began a series entitled A Treasure Chest Of Wisdom. 

The first lesson the wise would teach us is Don’t Hold Grudges
The second lesson was Take Care Of Your Health.

Compassion Makes Sense

Compassion is more important than pleasure. Many people intentionally blind themselves to the needs of others. When I didn’t listen to my mom my mom would call it “selective listening.”

As I was approaching fifty years old I sought the wisdom of my elders.  I sought out men and women older than I was to learn lessons on life that they had been learning.

I would ask: 

I know that you have spent your career with men and women older than yourself.
In that time you have listened and learned as they’ve talked about their lives and their values. You have gathered insights and wisdom from their successes and their failures.

This year I’m turning 50 and I’m starting to feel middle-aged.
I don’t know how old you are, but I know you’ve learned from those older than us.

This weekend at Anika’s baby dedication we shared parenting advice with the new parents Angi & Aaron.

My wife Amy said, “If you screw up, fess up.” 

She elaborated, “when you make mistakes admit them.”

Unfortunately, Amy learned that lesson from my…umm…from me.

You see, I’ve had to fess up a lot.

When I Mismanage My Life I Neglect My Highest Priorities

When I have mismanaged my life it’s my wife and God who get cheated. Sadly, I take for granted those who love me the most. I haven’t rejected my faith in God, I’ve just gotten so busy that I have not included God in my thoughts, feelings and plans as often as I would prefer.

“If you support _____ immediately delete me.”

That was posted on Facebook, tweeted and repeated passionately in the last few weeks leading up to our national election.

It’s interesting how much anger and vitriol arises during election years.

I see it everywhere.

Even among comic book readers.

At the risk of alienating fans of other fans I’m only going to refer to two set of loyalists, the Batman and the Superman fans.

Recently I read a graphic novel called Trinity by Matt Wagner featuring Wonder Woman, Superman and Batman. In the Trinity there is a conversation between Wonder Woman and Superman about Batman.

Yesterday in Pumpkin-Seed & Peeps I mentioned that embattled people can still be gracious.

It’s true.

We can choose to respect people we don’t like.
– We can choose to tolerate your differences.
– We can choose to talk things out rather than stuff your annoyances.

We can choose to bring happiness.
– If we hug people, let’s offer everyone hugs.
– We can all choose to forget the drama.
– We can all choose to forgive the guilty.

That final point, “choose to forgive the guilty” is a sticking point for many.

In the past couple weeks I’ve found myself in several conflicts. 

Sometimes it was clearly my fault, other times it was a miscommunication, and I’ve also been attacked by others.

Whether it’s listening to someone we’ve hurt, listening to someone explain their perspective, or listening to someone we’ve been hurt by, almost everyone I know agrees that we need to become better listeners.

Here are six helpful tips that I’m learning.

6 Attitudes That Get In The Way Of Listening:

Jim Thome signed with the MLB’s Philadelphia Phillies this off season.  I felt sad.  When he played with my local team, the Minnesota Twins, he was my favorite player.

Why?  Let me explain.

When Thome signed with the Twins before the 2010 season, the phone of (then) Twins general manager Bill Smith rang.

Smith recalled, “I got a call from someone with Philadelphia, telling me what a great guy we were getting…And then I got calls from the White Sox. And the Dodgers, even though he hadn’t been there a long time. And from Cleveland. They’d all say the same thing, about what a good guy he is.” 1

Tuesday, yeah, that’s when things didn’t go so well!

I’ve led hundreds and hundreds of support groups. They’re a regular part of my schedule and one of the joys of my week. Most nights are great.

That night something was weird at TreeHouse!

It Started Bad

Several teens were mad at me. Why?  My responsibility was to create a safe, supportive atmosphere.  Support groups with eight teens are common.  That night teens split up into a group of eight, a group of twelve, and a group of five.