I’m about to speak at my 4th school this week.  Bethel U today.  All week long I’ve been thinking about relationships.  
I’ve seen wonderful, caring, supportive people connecting.  
I’ve seen cold, distant, wounded people avoid connecting.
I’ve seen people laugh, and people cry.

As I’m finishing up this very busy week I’d like to leave you with some relationships advice that I’ve received, believed and adopted into my own life.

This advice is changing me.  I’m grateful for the many of you who are patient with me when I have my “fail” days.

Here’s how I deal with my sins, honestly and directly, first with God, and then with the people I’ve hurt.

I have found  that the Scriptures, and especially the Psalms, help me to have words to express myself when I am guilty.

“Save me, God, for the water has risen to my neck.” [Ps. 69:1]

God I’m drowning. I know I chose what I chose, but I had no idea that this would happen!

“God, You know my foolishness, and my guilty acts are not hidden from You.” [Ps. 69:5]

I grew up with my sister Kristie and the two girls next door.  There were many days that a blanket was hung on the front steps from the hand rail on either side of the concrete steps.

In the shade of the blanket we would play “house”. 

Kids Playing House

Playing “house” was an activity in which we pretended to be an imaginary family.  “House” had loose rules, roles and responsibilities; unless, of course, I got it wrong.  Which I often did.

Pretend-play was a challenge for me when I was little.

Listening to our friend Kayla Berndt yesterday awed me.

Her passion for the children and families she served this summer in Louisville, KY humbled me.

She found within herself a deep well of love and compassion filled by God.

Her appreciation for the struggles and successes, challenges and conquests of those she met made me think, “Do I notice people?  Really notice people?“

I believe that if I cared more for others I think my self-respect and thus my self-esteem would swell as well.

While many people try to avoid responsibility, Stanley Baker set another standard.

As reported in World Magazine, Stanley Baker bought a book at garage sale. The parking ticket he found inside the book was dated 1975. “And despite the fact that the parking ticket wasn’t issued to him—and was now 36 years past due—the Pentwater, Mich., 89-year-old figured that he might as well pay.”

So last month, Baker put the $1 payment for the 1975 ticket in the original envelope along with a note that read, “Better late than never,” and mailed it…”

I can be focused, self-centered, myopic and ignorant.

I can live contentedly for short periods of time “in my own little world.”

I’m learning that it’s important to look beyond myself and embrace reality.

Embrace My Own Reality

I’m learning not to do stupid things.

I knew I was supposed to do good things, but I didn’t really think about why I should.

Years ago in my Bible I read “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” 1

Okay, how cool is that.  I was just thinking about my friend Jonnie & I was about to write about my friend Erica.

They walked into the coffee shop I’m in, together!

Let me explain.

Jonnie and his brother Nate are in the Navy.  Jonnie will soon join Nate in Hawaii.  Nate will be stationed there until he is re-assigned to Guam.

I was thinking about Jonnie because next Spring I will see his smiling face IN Hawaii.

What?

Yeah, I know, right?!?!

We no longer use credit cards, so a “plastic vacation” is not an option.

Tuesdays I volunteer at a local junior high.  One of my responsibilities is to help teens have a safe, rule-abiding and fun lunch.  I’m perfect for the job.

While it’s uncomfortable, even scary at times, I’m willing to express myself.

Expressing Myself

I love to help people feel safe, so yesterday I steered a big kid away from a smaller but more annoying teen.  I helped the big kid avoid a consequence for squashing the smaller kid, and I helped the smaller kid avoid a beating.   They both safely eat their lunch. Everyone wins.

QUESTION: My friend/daughter/son/lover feels hopeless and wishes he/she was dead. What can I do?

ANSWERS:

1 – If you believe that this is an emergency: Call 911

2 – If you think that there is immediate risk:
Have they thought about suicide recently?
Does he/she have a plan?
Does he/she have the means immediately accessible to carry out their plan there?
Is there anyone else in the home (or wherever their location)?
Call 911

3 – If you feel concerned and want to offer helpful help, here’s help:

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

QUESTION: I feel hopeless. I wish I were dead. No one cares. What can I do?

OUR REPLY: “I would call Love Lines at 612-379-1199 or the Suicide Prevention Center 612-347-2222 they specialize in helping people with suicidal thoughts 24/7/365.