When we feel alone we look for relationships.
When we build relationships we look for connection.
When we recognize connection we hope for intimacy.
When we embrace intimacy…

… sometimes our hopes are dashed.

Our girlfriend is too manic.
Our boyfriend is too needy.
Our wife is too wounded.
Our husband is too self-centered.

And, it all comes crumbling down.

You can’t make her happy!
You can’t make him happy!
You feel so alone.

Left unchecked angry and loneliness are the ingredients for rage.

I hate this! Nothing makes sense.
I know I’m not good enough! And…
I know I will never be!

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.
You tried to make him happy and didn’t.
You tried to make her happy and didn’t.

You tried, and tried, and tried, and failed.

And Now…

You feel frustrated because life sucks, and your daydream begins to feel like a nightmare.  “My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.” 1 

And people find out what happened.  They start talking about what they think happened.  They start guessing what you did, or what you could have or should have done.  Then they start gossiping, “Their insults have broken my heart…If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.” 2

I had a dream Sunday night.  I couldn’t wait to tell you about it, but I did.

I was riding on a flat bottom rail car through an unnamed city.  

Our flatbed train was kind of like a ten-foot wide airport moving walkway. We were traveling in an open flatbed rail car with no safety features at all. It seemed normal. 1

I traveled with my son Josh, and a third person who was a combination of my wife Amy and daughter Shannon.  Since they are so close, it didn’t seem weird at all.  

The premise of the game “Three Truths and a Lie” is to stump your friends by making four statements that all seem to be true, but one is not.  Yesterday while playing the with my friends, Cassandra, Xedric, Ash, Shafique, Fernando, and Nick  I said, “I am ambidextrous.  I have eight pairs of shoes.  I have one pet.  I have one sister.” 

I have no pets, but I had no idea that each and every person would guess that “I have one pet” was the lie.

I love this picture.  It takes me by surprise how much I love capturing this picture. 

This little squirrel lives in our backyard.  We call this squirrel “Junior White Paws.”

Junior White Paws lives with White Paws in a nest in the tree outside our sliding glass door.

Junior White Paws is an active little squirrels who likes corn, peanuts and clean water.

This little squirrel gets to enjoy cleaner water than millions of people on this planet.  Clean, filtered water — free from contaminants — this squirrel is among the wealthy and privileged class of squirrels and people alike.

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi has been defeated.  MSNBC reported that his last words were: ‘Do you know right from wrong?’ I do not know whether he was treated as he should have been or not. I know that he deserved justice,  just like you and I do.

I don’t interact with world leaders, but in my sphere of influence I have to ask myself: ‘Do you know right from wrong?‘

I want to treat people, especially my loved ones, with the ultimate respect.  I try, but sometimes I get in my own way.

Yesterday was my wife Amy’s birthday. 

Amy is one of the most caring and unselfish people I know.  She is often a benchmark of selflessness.  More than once I thought I should wear a W>W>A>D> bracelet to remind me to ask myself, “What Would Amy Do?”, in order to overcome some of my natural selfishness.

What is one way that I can intentionally give up some of my selfishness today?

I try to have high moral standards, but I think that question is a fair question to ask every day.

My selfishness unintentionally compromises the health of my relationships.

Shame minimizes one’s true self.

Healthy communities promote genuineness and humanity.

Amy and I are blessed.  We live in Brooklyn Park, MN and have great neighbors on either side of us.  Tyko, Anika, Kamroon and Tia live to the North. Melissa and Steve to our South. 

Ignorantly, both families could be marginalized by segments of our society.

Shame Marginalizes Through Blindness

Tyko, Anika, Kamroon and Tia look different and sound different than their neighbors.  At a glance they are different.  On the other hand, their differences from Amy and I might surprise you. 

Pain Despite Faith

My friend Brandon, like many people, lives with the pain of migraines.  Brandon has explained, “migraines make me very ill.   They can put me out of action for an entire day or more.  I can feel one coming on and then when full blown I feel horrible, nauseous and need to go to bed. While some people can have a migraine every couple of months or a couple of migraines a week, sometimes my migraines can repeat day after day for a week or more.”

In the past I mentioned my appreciation for singer-songwriter Sara Groves.  This week Amy and I are going to her CD release concert so I’m highlighting some of her great songs.  They inspire and encourage me.  I think that they will do the same for you.

A couple of months ago I mentioned how moved I was by Sara’s compassion churned by the pain and hurt she saw in Rwanda.   I Saw What I Saw expresses that she could never be the same after her trip.

Most people want to relieve or avoid pain, and understandably so.