Headlines announce the news of the day.

You a Jersey Shore fan?  Did you know that  ‘Jersey Shore’ star Snooki was hit with $7 Million lawsuit?

Maybe you love Jersey but don’t care about Jersey Shore. Did you know that, All 5 aboard a plane died when it crashed ON an interstate highway in New Jersey?  Or, maybe you heard that Jersey-born Jon Bon Jovi was dead?

We want to know accurate information.  We want to know the truth.

The Truth

No, Jon Bon Jovi is not dead.

Why do people cut?  There are many reasons.  One reason is the fear of the unknown.  He cut because he is afraid.  She continues to cut because she knows the subtle benefits that prompted her to begin cutting initially.  She’s afraid to stop.  He fears that if he stops cutting he may make his life worse.

What they don’t know seems scarier than their present level of pain or anxiety.

People want to feel safe.  We want to feel secure.  We prefer control.  We resist change.

Why People Resist Change

Many cutters cut because they believe lies about their nature.  They feel that their very existence is under a foreboding cloud that leave them hopeless to change.

Hopeless Lie – I Deserve It

“I’ve never made my daughter feel inadequate.  She’s an honor student.  I just don’t understand why she says she cuts herself because she’s “a failure at life.”

“My brother feels so guilty all the time.    He cuts himself and says he deserves it.”

If You Screw Up, Fess Up!   Say “I’m sorry” and mean it!

In the classic 70′s romantic movie “Love Story” Jennifer Cavalieri said, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

It’s a nice romantic notion to think if you really loved someone you would never say a hurtful word, always remember their favorite ___, text them back immediately, stop everything to take their phone call, always be certain to arrive when you said that you would, and never forget an item on the “pick it up on the way home” list.

Do not try to change the other person, the change starts with ourselves.

While writing this I feel many feelings.  Amy and I are at peace but conflicts have arisen in other areas of my life, unforeseen conflicts that leave me feeling wounded, bloodied, scared and scarred.  Realistically I cannot change anyone else.  In the midst of conflict I have to deal with myself.

Dealing with Conflicts

Suggestions:

1. Pray for wisdom to see situations clearly.
2. If you screw up, fess up.
3. Ask God for strength and discipline to change.
4. Stop sinning before something worse happens.
5. Ask others to help you stay on the right path.

I worked the graveyard shift as a desk clerk in suburban Chicago.  While the weekend night were often busy late into the night, many nights I had lots of free time.   I was confined to a small space in a locked office behind glass.  I spoke through a slot below the glass.  I exchanged money and passed room keys through that small opening.

Yes, there were lonely, sleepy nights.

Alone I had several options.  I watched television.  I listened to music. Occasionally I napped.   As a newly committed God-follower I spent hours reading my Bible.

Today when asked to describe me in one word Jocelyn “Jozey” Wichterman described me as passionate. While I humbly smirked when I read it, she’s right, I am passionate.

Yesterday’s tragic death of Avenged Sevenfold’s drummer The Rev [James Owen Sullivan] drives my passion into a flame.

Chains

Several years ago while having lunch with Heather Crimmins she introduced me to Avenged Sevenfold. Over the years I realized that Avenged Sevenfold’s lyrics spoke to people; they touched wounded souls:

“Tormented young with no souls, haunting me
Pain in their lives all they know is misery
Take these chains away that are holding me down” [Eternal Rest]

Have you ever met a celebrity?  A favorite band?  A compelling author?  A poet whose words changed your heart?  A doctor who changed your health?  A therapist who changed your mind?  A minister who changed the direction of your soul?  A friend who help heal your wound?  A lover who helps heal your aloneness?

Do you like to name drop?

You might be impressed if I said I play basketball with Lebron, play guitar with Rodrigo, or sing with Christina.  You might want to sit down and have coffee with Jimmy Carter and me.